5 Strange Sexual Practices to Enlarge Your Vocabulary!

5 Strange Sexual Practices to Enlarge Your Vocabulary!

By Tatyana Dyachenko

Ever wanted to interrupt or end a tedious conversation? Bored with the new partner’s parents’ dinner party or office awards’ presentation? Here are some words to chuck in when you don’t want to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious:

Autopederasty

Getting your willy up your own bum is called autopederasty. Yes, apparently it’s possible. Just like autofellatio and autocunnilingus but even trickier, autopederasty is for the agile among us. Now, I’m good at yoga, but really?

Pseudonecropilia

Pseudonecropilia is basically, pretending to be dead while someone shags you. It may be that this is a more common practice than it seems, exhibited by the bored women of the nation. If you can make yourself cold by lying in cold water or rolling in snow, all the better. Pseudonecropilia is distinct from actual necrophilia which is decidedly illegal.

Hematolagnia

For the teenage vampires among us, hematolagnia is using blood in sex. Not to be confused with ‘rainbow sex’, (or fucking while you’re on your period.) I remember tales of a legendary man who used to walk around the Torture Garden with a closed-circuit blood transfusion system going. Maybe it was more than one bloke.

Objectum Sexuality

Objectum Sexuality is when a person is in love with a wall or the Eiffel Tower. Any object that fits a person’s psychology can fulfil the role of the loved one in their life. If one thinks of this in terms of addiction or phobias – which can also take the form of pretty much anything – it makes perfect sense: whatever we focus on and attach to becomes the object of our interest.

Emetophilia

Most people don’t like to vomit. Most people. However, if you are in to Emetophlia, then you are turned on by the process of throwing up. A release comparable to orgasm, whilst not actually puking it is almost imaginable. If you liked to be puked-upon, it is called a ‘Roman Shower’. Nuff said.

In conclusion

People like some weird stuff. And if they can find people who want to join in, then fair enough. Particularly, disgust associated with bodily functions is so primary to human nature that someone is bound to fetishise it.

It may be that you could run a league table with your friends, like fantasy football, with ever increasing points for the person who gets in the best word in the most inappropriate situation. Good luck!