If you are highly aroused and focused on the task at hand, there is absolutely no reason on earth that you shouldn’t be experiencing mind-blowing clitoral orgasms.
If this is not happening for you on a consistent basis, and stress, anxiety and other factors can be ruled out, the problem is probably a very simple one: you’re not getting enough clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
Thankfully, this problem is relatively easy to resolve.
One of the biggest mistakes women can make is assuming that it is the man’s ‘job’ to bring them to orgasm, and so they lie back and wait for their needs to be met. Not only does this put an unnecessary pressure on your lover, but it’s also unfair. And, let’s be honest, one-sided sex is no fun for either partner. So, if he’s on top, make sure you’re grinding against his hips. While in the missionary position, his pubic bone should be located directly above your clitoris. Make sure you’re making the most of it.
Or you could go one better and dictate the show yourself. Whenever a woman is on top, she is far more likely to reach climax, simply because she can angle her hips to allow for maximum clitoral stimulation and she can control the speed and pressure of that stimulation.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with ‘taking matters into your own hands’; no sexual etiquette precludes masturbation. In fact, most men find it highly arousing to watch their lovers touch themselves. So, if you’re not getting enough clitoral stimulation, for example when he’s penetrating you from behind, manually stimulate yourself.
Or afternoon, or middle of the night! If you don’t feel comfortable touching yourself or would simply rather your lover touched you, then ask him to move his hands southwards. He’s very unlikely to say no and, in actual fact, he may find it very sexy. It’s a good idea, though, to guide him either by words or with your own hands, to show him exactly where, how and when you need the stimulation.
If you’re still having trouble reaching orgasm, due to a lack of clitoral stimulation, I would highly recommend that you discuss the issue with your lover. Of course, you have to be tactful and avoid blame. However, I think if you simply explain that you would love it if he did “a bit more of this” or that it drives you crazy with desire when he “does that”, he’ll be receptive. In addition, while your having sex, ensure that you’re vocal about what feels good – just assuming he’ll know, is not a guarantee that he’ll do it again. However, if you tell him just how good it feels, he’s very likely to give you a repeat performance.
Many women have trouble achieving climax and it simply doesn’t have to be that way. The route to a better sex life is in your control!
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