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by Katie Peachesa April 19, 2020 3 min read

Anal Sex Guide for Beginners - How to Have Anal Sex

By Ekaterina Mironova

Anal sex is one of those things that lots of people are curious about, and many are hesitant to try. Maybe it's because there is a certain amount of taboo associated with it, or maybe you think it will be painful, or maybe you just don't like the idea. As with most things sexual, preferences vary widely from person to person.

If you are in a comfortable relationship and practice safety and good hygiene, there is no reason for you to not experiment and find out what you and your partner enjoy. You may find yourself surprised.

Sometimes couples run into issues when one person wants to try something or really likes something that the other person doesn't. There are plenty of other resources out there for dealing with tensions in your relationship, but one bit of advice is to stay open minded. For example, if your partner really wants to bring anal play into your sex life and you are adamantly opposed to it, ask yourself why. If you can't come up with a solid answer, do a little research, talk to your partner and maybe experiment a little to find out how it actually feels.

You don't have to jump all the way in to the deep end of the pool, first thing, after all. Take some time to play and find out what feels good and what doesn't. The key is to trust your partner and to communicate clearly with each other. A more practical key is to keep plenty of lube on hand. You don't want to hurt yourself or your partner.

Hygiene is important in all things sexual, and even more so when anal sex is the issue. Safety is particularly important for a number of reasons in addition to all the usual reasons. Some people would have you believe an anal douche is necessary to be "clean" enough for anal sex, and there is a great deal of misinformation out there on the topic. We suggest you read our article Anal Douching and Anal Enemas about anal douching for some facts before deciding. A word of caution: douching can cause the lining of the rectal cavity to dry out and be prone to tearing, which can be painful and leave you open to infection.

Another important hygiene tip is to use condoms, and to never, ever begin with anal sex then switch to vaginal or oral sex without changing condoms. Serious infections and even some illnesses can be transmitted so keep cleanliness in mind and use common sense.

Introducing something new to your sexual repertoire takes some courage and some willingness from both people to explore boundaries. Begin slowly. You might want to try a toy made especially for anal play. Keep the word "play" in mind. Sex should be enjoyed and not a source of stress or worry. The goal is to feel good and have fun.

Reaching climax before trying something new may help you relax and feel more comfortable. Relaxation and comfort are extremely important - almost as important as having enough lube. If you are tense, things will probably not go well and could even be painful. Getting comfortable with being touched and anally stimulated is a good first step.

When you are both comfortable with anal stimulation and with using more lube than you ever thought you would need to use, you may want to try penetration with a finger to get used to that feeling. Anything new will be strange at first, but the idea, in this case, is for it to be arousing and exciting. The best way to make sure both partners enjoy the experience is to take it slowly - spread the experimentation out over several days, weeks or even months. Taking your time builds trust and intimacy and that leads to relaxation which is necessary for enjoyment.

As you explore the sensations of anal sexual play, you might decide you want to go further and have anal intercourse. Many women have reported that they enjoy anal sex, especially if they feel in control of the situation. Building up to it with enough communication and trust along the way can help you decide if it's something you want to try. It's never a bad thing to learn you and your partner both enjoy a new sexual experience.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.

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