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by Katie Peachesa April 23, 2020 3 min read

Anal Sex Guide for Beginners - How to Have Anal Sex

By Ksenia Sobchak

The Holy Grail of the modern man and one of the hottest trends around, anal sex is today what oral sex plus swallowing was in the 1950s. Something a lot of men are obsessed with, but only a few actually get. Unfortunately, the more men are obsessed with this, the more women are likely to recoil from such an experience. It takes a leap of faith for the woman to agree to try anal sex, but that leap is not going to come if the man looks like he wants it so bad that he cannot be trusted to restrain himself if the woman finds the whole thing unpleasant.

So the first thing that men need is patience. Well, Rome wasn’t burnt in a day, guys, so you are going to have to learn patience. Talk about anal sex with your lady, but don’t be pushy about it. If she says no change the subject and bring it up later. Buy her one or two books about both anal sex and how to keep yourself healthy and clean and make sure that you read them, too. She’ll most likely be worried about both pain and diseases so it is very good if you share a bit of her anxiety and educate yourself about all aspects of anal sex. Try getting her to watch some videos, but be careful about this approach because it might backfire. A pornstar inserting an 8-inch penis in some ass in one swift motion will make her cringe with apprehension.

Lubrication is crucial to anal sex. As we all know, the anus and rectum are not self lubricating as the vagina so you are going to need a lot of lubrication. Keep an ample supply handy because there’s nothing worse than running out of lube in the middle of the act. And don’t even think about going in dry. It’s not going to work no matter how hard you push. Try to get some silicone or water-based lubrication, but read the labels first. Some lubes don’t mix well with condoms. Oh, yeah, and don’t be a macho man and use your own spit. Even if your mouth is working overtime, you still won’t have enough. Plus, it tends to dry up very fast.

The second key to anal sex is to go slow. The anus was not built to accept things coming in, especially things that are as big as a penis. So start by playing around the anus with your tongue, if you’re into anal play. Then move up to a finger and make sure the anus gets used to it before inserting a second finger. When the anus is finally used to having two fingers in it, you can try to put the head of your penis in. Don’t try to move faster than one inch at a time, or even less. And if the lady says “Stop!”, then make sure you stop. After each small thrust forward give her time to adjust to the situation. In the meantime you can play with her boobs or stimulate her clitoris.

And, finally, tell her over and over again that she has full control of the situation and that you will obey her wishes. She’s the one taking a penis up the ass, so if she says “do this” or “don’t do that” you had better get busy or it will be your last anal sex session with her. Trust is something very hard to build and easily destroyed, so never betray her trust. It’s hard for her to let you poke around the back door where she has absolutely no control over the situation and can’t see what you’re doing and, on top of that, she has to engage in the strange activity of accommodating a penis up her ass.

And one last thing. Before starting to talk your lady into anal sex take a couple of minutes and think about the old saying: “turnabout is fair play”. So, if your lady asks you “Yeah, if you think it’s so cool how about I do your ass!”, what are you going to reply? Are you going to ask her to do something you would not do yourself? Maybe she’s not the only one who should drop some prejudices.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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