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by Katie Peachesa April 19, 2020 2 min read

Are Men Concerned About Women’s Sexual Pleasure?

By Tatyana Dyachenko

There is a general feeling among women that men are inherently selfish when it comes to sex.

We tend to think that men are only concerned about their own sexual pleasure, and whether or not a woman is sexually satisfied is irrelevant to the average man.

In actual fact, this couldn’t be further from the truth. So, why do we think it?

Why Women Get Men Wrong

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert in psychology, but I believe that there are two reasons women have men pegged so wrong. First, we make the mistake of thinking that all men are the same. It’s horrible when you hear a man talking about some failed relationship, only to conclude that “you can’t trust women.” We’re not all the same and neither are they.

Second, our opinions of men, especially in regard to sex, are formed fairly early on. The fact is that young men, in their mid to late teens especially, can be a little clumsy and less concerned about their partner’s pleasure. Chances are, your first sexual encounter, like many women’s, was not quite as romantic or as enjoyable as you thought it would be. And this sticks with us.

What Men Really Think

If we opened our minds a little, we might be surprised by how much women’s sexual pleasure means to most men. After all, why do you think they ask, “how was it?” with such alarming and embarrassing frequency? Yes, yes, a part of that is a need to have his ego stroked, but mostly he genuinely wants to know that you’ve been satisfied.

In fact, if you talk to a man about this subject, you’ll find that not only is it a concern for them post-coitus, but it can also be playing on their minds throughout the act. Many men do a hundred and one kooky things, like thinking of their grandmothers, in order to prolong sex. Why do they do this? Because they think that the way to ensure a woman’s pleasure is to have marathon sex sessions. This is a somewhat misguided assumption – don’t get me wrong, hours of slow love making is great, but it’s not the only way to leave a smile on our faces.

Talk to Your Guy

If your sexual satisfaction is lacking, then I can be almost certain that your lover will want to play his part in rectifying the problem. That said, he doesn’t want to be told his ‘bad’ in bed and, truth be told, he might not be. Sex is very much a two-way street and you can’t lay the blame for your sexual dissatisfaction solely at his feet.

Instead, try to open a non-accusatory conversation about sex. Tell him what he could do that would really push your buttons and ask him if there’s anything he’d like from you. If you’re not reaching orgasm, don’t pretend that you are, because this will not solve the problem. Be honest, but don’t assign blame and let him know what you need to push you over the edge.

Whatever else you do, don’t just assume that your lover won’t or doesn’t care about your pleasure!

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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