Sex. It comes naturally and it doesn’t need to be taught. As strange as that statement might seem, it is how many people view sex today. Some people believe that sex is something natural, instinctual, and fairly simple. However, this assumption is dangerous. When there is a lack of knowledge about sex (especially involving two partners), this ignorance can cause doubt, dissatisfaction and stress in a relationship.
What happens when we don’t bother learning more about sex? We must either accept the fact that sex is disappointing and marriage isn’t as great as we thought, or we will long for something that our partner cannot give us. Or at least, we believe that he/she cannot give it to us.
In reality, learning more about sex is very important and can mean all the difference between a strong and intimate relationship, and a relationship that’s missing a certain “spark.” For instance, one of the very first lessons to learn about sex is that there is different types of sex.
We’re not talking about different sexual positions. We simply mean there are numerous ways to have sex, as regards outlook, perspective, feelings and circumstances. Let’s discuss the most obvious way to have sex, and usually the type of sex that is most common to committed couples. This is the “sweet, take your time lovemaking” experience. This is the type of encounter that involves deep feelings of love, soul, and commitment. It involves your emotions and senses and requires a serious time commitment. When you make love this way you take your time, you play up the romance, and you appreciate your partner. This type of sex strengthens communication and intimacy with a partner.
Wait a minute, isn’t this the only reason to have sex? Of course not! What about the fast and furious style of sex, the one that’s all about adrenaline, excitement and pent up lust? This type of sex doesn’t last long but it sure does make you feel good. This is the type of sex that’s not really about love, but about bodies, momentary bliss, and yes, sometimes just about relieving stress.
The “quickie” is very underrated today. Sometimes one or both partners may avoid sex altogether because they feel guilty about a good quickie. Wrong. Fast sex can be good—provided you sometimes go back to sweet lovemaking. The variety of encounters is what keeps lovers interested.
Most people associate this quickie and lustful type of sex with being single, but it is okay to try in a committed relationship. There is nothing wrong with lusting after your partner and having sex without a time commitment or a grand romantic gesture. Sometimes sex is about release. Sometimes it’s about being horny!
Mutual masturbation is another form of sex that is often neglected. Watching your partner pleasure him or herself can be a very erotic experience. Now only is this type of foreplay for arousal, but it also valuable as a sex education experience. It is especially beneficial for women, as it allows their men to understand how they like to be touched, when and where.
Sexual domination is another type of sex that primarily involves control, psychological response and a “surrendering” to your partner. There is a different dynamic and feel to an encounter when one partner plays the role of the aggressive partner, and the other the submissive.
So instead of limiting yourself to just one way of having sex, change the menu every so often. Do something unexpected. Have sex for different reasons. Have fun with your partner and keep him or her guessing!
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