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by Katie Peachesa April 24, 2020 2 min read

BDSM guide - Top and Bottom Initiation

By Tatyana Dyachenko

Top and Bottom are words used a lot within BDSM and we’ve touched on the topic a lot over the BDSM articles we’ve done. Now we’re going to talk about it a bit more without other BDSM activities. To start off, Top and Bottom cover different things to different people, however we’re going to cover it in mostly a BDSM sense so this may be a little off if you’ve read other things.

A Top in BDSM is the person who takes the dominant role in flogging, binding etc. This is how Top is often related to being a Dominant as you are taking a dominant role in the activity. However you can order a slave to do certain dominant things such as flogging, therefore making them a Top, but not a Dominant as they’re under order. The other way a Top exists in BDSM is the person who mostly does the pleasuring, therefore a Submissive can be the main pleasurer and be the Top, in this case. A Bottom is really the opposite of this. Therefore the one is tied up most, and the one who mostly receives the pleasure.

So thats Top and Bottom in a nutshell, and most Dominants and Submissives fit the Top and Bottom styles easily. The other option is a Switch, which is someone who likes to switch between the two, so sometimes being Top sometimes Bottom, but this one really does seem to mostly tie in with Dominant and Submissive.

The place to start is talking it out, having a chat with your partner and seeing what their most interested in. Frankly its not going to be easy if they are completely uninterested in the matter but this is a good way to get everything out in the open about what you want to try.

So once you’ve talked it over and you both want to give it a go what next? Well if neither seems to have a preference to try first, flip a coin, and just go from there. That way its complete luck who does what first.

So what to do first? Well the easiest thing to do is go with the ideas of pleasuring and simple BDSM, such as gentle bondage. So the Top pleasures the Bottom most, and then the Top ties up the Bottom and pleasures them again. Then you reverse roles and try it all over again from the other point of view. Now this isn’t something I’d advise deciding overnight, don’t just do each side once and that be that you know what you prefer. You may know what you prefer just doing it once, but your partner may not so do it a few times and have a real feel for both sides. That way you can figure out if you and your partner are Tops, Bottoms, or Switches.

Really its not that hard so long as you go into the activity really willing to try both sides of the coin. Take a deep breath and agree to do both and have fun doing it! Let us know, are you Top or Bottom?

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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