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by Katie Peachesa April 17, 2020 4 min read

BDSM BASICS FOR BEGINNERS

By Ksenia Sobchak

With the current influx of interest into BDSM as a result of attention in the media for the book series "50 Shades of Grey" removing a lot of the fear and social ignorance in the area of BDSM there has been an increased amount of beginners entering BDSM wanting to get involved and explore what it is all about.

So what is BDSM? BDSM stands for "Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism"

BDSM represents a number of practices that are separate by area but identified by one as a whole, both can be sexual and non-sexual, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, and a variety of interpersonal activities.

There are a wide range of practices in BDSM, some of which may be practiced by people who don't personally identify themselves as practicing in any form of BDSM.

A persons interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation with a partner at home, for example being tied up to a bed for a night or to a full blown lifestyle that is 24 hours a day and affects every aspect of your life.

Although there is debate about it, here at Peaches and Screams it is our belief that BDSM is not related to a persons sexual orientation e.g straight, gay, pansexual etc, this is a completely different area.

A person’s type of practices that they engage in and as well as their own personal identification in BDSM will usually put them into a particular area or multiple areas of the BD, DS and SM areas.

If you do not know what area you identify with, usually after an experimental period most people will usually find where they fit. There are also a lot of sub categories and styles of play that people identify with like role players, medical play, age players and many other terms that we cover in other articles.

BONDAGE AND DISCIPLINE (B&D OR B/D)

Bondage Some individuals have a preference for being bound and tied; B (Bondage) others prefer to bind and tie their partner. There are also other people that enjoy both these roles more commonly know as a SWITCH (not only B&D) and there are others that will engage in self-bondage.

These acts can be of a sexual nature including intercourse or purely just the act of restraint. But more often then not they are of an erotic and teasing nature and do include sexual intercourse.

There is a massive range of products available to explore from Peaches and Screams both in leather, ropes, metal and suspension that allow a person to be restrained in different positions and complexities of restraint as you build your skills.

Discipline The D (Discipline) in B&D means that the session includes a level of discipline on the person being restrained by the person doing the restraint. This could be just the act of restraining the person, inflicting a level of consensual power over them physically or verbally, the introduction of further restraint or toys including gags, sensory deprivation or plugs depending on where you want to go with the session.

B&D is often not part of S&M but the Discipline side of B&D crosses over with D&S very closely.

DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION (D&S D/S)

What is a Dominant/Topper/Dom/Master/Mistteres/Domme? In D&S the dominant is the partner in a D&S relationship or in a BDSM scene who takes the control role over the other person and the bottom or submissive is the person that submits power of the session to the dominant.

What is a submissive/Bottom/Sub? A submissive is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up control of her/his life to another person (toe dominant).

D&S is about a power exchange between two consenting adults. It is about the control within the relationship. This may be a full time 24/7 relationship, a single session, or a part time arrangement during set hours.

Becoming a submissive is to allow the dominant to control your body and behavior within the limits that the submissive and the dominant, have agreed upon prior to starting the arrangement.

Submission is a choice, and should not be entered into lightly or with someone you just met at a party after a few drinks.

SADISM AND MASOCHISM (S&M S/M)

What is a Sadist? When a lot of people hear someone say the word sadist they automatically associate it with Satanism but they could not be more wrong. A person that identifies as sadist is someone who gets pleasure from inflicting pain on another person. It does not mean that a sadist is someone who has a mental problem or who is evil by nature. Most sadists would not inflict any real harm on another person. To put it simply they are people that just have their pleasure and pain wiring reversed.

What is a Masochist? A masochist is somebody who gets their pleasure from having pain inflicted upon them by another person. Usually this pleasure is of a sexual nature but can be without for some and also can be in the form of emotional abuse as well.

What is a switch? A switch is a person that engages in BDSM acts, sometimes as the dominant and other times as the submissive.

BDSM Switch partners will switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience there preferred activity.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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