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by Katie Peachesa April 15, 2020 5 min read

Beginners Guide To Bondage – What You Need To Know

By Tatyana Dyachenko

You may have heard of bondage or fetish sex before, but what exactly is it? Bondage is a form of facilitating pleasure by restraining your partner with various sex toys and objects. You can totally or partially immobilize a person’s body pending exactly what you want to do to them at a particular time. There are various things you can use such as rope, handcuffs, collars, and weights in bondage.

What are the benefits of using bondage in sex? Some feel that bondage is a form of meditation. Others enjoy the role playing where you have one person who is the dominant and the other person is the submissive. Many individuals and couples enjoy bondage because they like the feeling of letting someone else dominate and control them in the bedroom. They get pleasure from being bound and can reach ecstasy during bondage sex play. Bondage is sometimes considered a fetish but is practised by many. In some countries it has even developed into an art form such as in Japan.

Getting Started with Bondage

A great first step in bondage for beginners is to start with basic restraints. Restraints can be in the form of silk scarves, speciality ropes and sex tape or restraint kits. Some basic playful bondage would include binding the submissive’s hands together behind or in front of the body allowing them to have control over their legs and feet. You can also bind the sub’s arms to their body with sex tape again allowing them to maintain control of their lower body parts. These are examples of very basic bondage that involves restraining the sub’s hands.

If you’re comfortable with basic restraints you can move on to somewhat more advanced bondage sex activities which involves binding the sub to an object such as a door frame or piece of furniture like a bed or chair. You can accomplish this type of bondage with soft ropes, tethers, sex tape or restraint kits. Try tying your lover’s hands to your headboard and feet to the foot board of your bed. Ladies you can bind your man to a chair and ride him till he can’t take it no more! The door frame is another great option that couples can use as a solid restraint; they allow you to slip the wrist restraints over the door so when the door is closed the sub is bound to it and you are free to do what you like to them.

There are several knots you can learn to tie when using different types of bondage rope, styles and positions. There are many educational videos such as “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage” that can demonstrate these for you.

Once you’ve chosen how you want to restrain your partner you can try some kinky play; gentle spanking, running a feather tickler over their body or you can “paint” them with edible paints. They’ll enjoy you licking it off their bodies as much as you enjoy licking and eating. Fetish blindfolds are another great addition to your bondage play, the suspense of what you’re going to do next is incredibly erotic and a huge turn on. The Sinful Blindfold for beginners is a great cheap blindfold suitable for everyone.

Bondage Safety Tips

Like everything sex related, safety should always be a top priority. When dealing in bondage and fetish sex acts there are always a few basic rules that need to be followed when engaging to ensure both you and your partner have fun, while remaining safe.

Open communication and discussion between the couple is the #1 rule when performing any bondage act.

Discuss likes and dislikes before starting so you both no each others boundaries.
Clear and absolute consent before beginning.

Have fun!

Communication is the most important part of sex and especially when practising and performing bondage. That said safety needs to be the top priority in bondage. There can be a risk of serious injury if some basic steps are not followed.

Body Restraints:

Never restrain anyone by the neck; this should be a given but still needs to be said.

Chest restraints must allow plenty of room for the person to be able to breathe. Make sure you can easily slide your fingers between the chest and the strap.

Extremity Restraints:

Hands and feet restraints must allow good circulation in these limbs. A way to judge this is to ensure there is space for at least one finger to go between the binds and skin.

Have a pair of shears or scissors accessible to be able to cut the binds in case of an emergency.

Handcuffs:

Test the keys BEFORE placing any form of handcuffs the person. Always make sure that the handcuffs you are using are of high quality. You don’t want to cut off any blood circulation or not be able to remove them when you are finished.

Always place the keys in plain sight for the submissive to be able to see and always have a spare set of keys in case a set gets lost. You really don’t want to have to call a locksmith to assist you with getting free.

Safe Words:

Safe words are an excellent idea when performing bondage or fetish sex acts. Always have a predetermined set of safe words. For example; like the colours of the stop light. if a person were to say yellow it would mean caution. Red would mean stop. Now if a person says to stop then it needs to be followed immediately. At any time that you also see a person in discomfort, you need to stop. Also, NEVER leave a person who is bound unattended. Bondage is not just about sex but about also trust. If you‘re the dominant one you must prove in your partner that they can trust you explicitly 100%. If you’re the sub you must be able to trust that your dom will take care of you and play the part perfectly to your arrangements before hand.

Many couples want to imitate the couples and porn stars they see in the movies, in reality this is not advisable and should not be attempted. The actors in adult movies are professionals and are surrounded by a lot people who can give assistance if and when needed. Some porn stars have practised the bondage lifestyle for many years and have advanced knowledge of every possible act they do. But they too were beginners once, so start slow, discover what you enjoy and continue your bondage practice at a pace you and your partner are both comfortable with. Never try to push your partner to try something that will be uncomfortable with and don’t agree to an activity or bind that you’re uncomfortable in trying. Bondage will not only enhance your sex life but can also enhance your relationship.

Bondage is something that needs to be enjoyed by both participants to be fully enjoyable. It’s a new way to find some new things that can arouse your partner and lead to new heights of pleasure that you may never have thought existed between you both. But, as always, follow the safety rules so it’s ecstatic for all involved.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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