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by Katie Peachesa April 16, 2020 2 min read

Do Women Fantasize About Other Men During Sex Within a Relationship?

By Ksenia Sobchak

Sensual CoupleThe simple answer is that it depends on the woman, the man and the relationship. Not all women can be so carefully categorised in this regard. Some women are completely content to think about their man only, while others may enjoy fantasizing about handsome strangers, movie stars or men at work.

Do not believe that the majority of women are content to only fantasize about their husband or boyfriend. That’s not realistic thinking, and adheres to a very old belief that all men are hunters and women are homemakers. The facts show that the majority of women do fantasise on occasion (sorry fellas!). Whether or not it is a “big deal” depends on the type of relationship the couple has and the individual personalities of each partner.

Some men might be offended to know that his wife or girlfriend is thinking about someone else, while others wouldn’t be surprised or concerned at all. It’s important to understand that like dreams, the fantasies of a female or male mind are just brain exercises that can help a person experience pleasure, figure something out about a relationship, or help a woman come to terms with herself.

There is a big difference between fantasizing about another person and actually having an affair with a person! Now, just because a woman fantasizes about another man besides her mate doesn’t mean she is doing something “wrong” or is heading down a path of unfaithfulness. By the same logic, can you train a man or a woman to never look at a handsome stranger who happens to be walking by? Maybe, but it’s not going to be a very happy relationship if one partner is that controlling.

Often times, female minds fantasize differently than male minds. Statistically speaking, women are more likely to fantasize about one person, whereas men fantasize about multiple partners. Men tend to be more obsessed with “parts” during fantasies, whereas women focus on the emotion of the situation, and perhaps the dominant/submission dynamic. Women usually take on a passive role when fantasizing, and like to imagine freedom from responsibility. Women tend to fantasize about exotic and romantic settings, everything related to feeling the experience. Men on the other hand, are all about the hard and fast conquest.

If the idea of fantasizing is becoming an issue then talk it over with your partner. It’s not realistic to think that you or your partner will forever avoid thinking of anyone else during sex or masturbation. However, the relationship might still benefit by setting some limits, such as flirting with other people off course. You or your partner’s willingness to talk about kinky fantasies may actually help the relationship, as you can increase communication and explore more erotic thought exchanges. Trying new things, such as introducing toys into the routine, or role playing, can be very exciting for couples.

In short, rather than worrying about this situation, try to open up more to your partner so that you can understand where they are coming from. You can both enjoy a healthy and happy sex life when you communicate!

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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