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Everything You Need To Know About Dating With Herpes

by Jekaterina Gussarova August 04, 2022 4 min read

Everything You Need To Know About Dating With Herpes

Everything You Need To Know About Dating With Herpes

Have you been diagnosed with genital herpes and don't know how to handle dating with herpes? If you intend to make love with your partner, they will feel you are hiding something, which is not good. Luckily, this guide will help you know how you can date with herpes.

Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease that affects the genitals. Its diagnosis may feel life-altering. Herpes is among the most stigmatized and terrible infections that no one would like to get. However, a lot of information about the condition is not valid. If you have already absorbed the negativity, you may experience depression, numbness, anger, and shame. However, you need to converse with every new partner since the outbreak cannot be predicted or controlled. You will have to make some changes for you to keep going. Changes include telling your partner about it before you get busy with learning how to recognize the outbreak signs. Fortunately, even with herpes, you can still date and make love.

Facts about Herpes

The two types of herpes are HSV-1 and HSV-2. Genital herpes is usually caused by HSV-2, though cold sores are also herpes and result from HVS-1. Both viruses can surface either in the mouth or genitals and are transmitted through vaginal or oral sex. Remember, you can still get the infection when using a condom or any other protection. This is mainly because the sores usually appear in places that are not protected, like thighs and buttocks. Herpes is also contracted through skin contact. You can get it when your partner has cold sores without kissing or having sex but through fingering. You can get the infection if he touches the sores and then touches you before washing hands. There is no cure for herpes, but it is not a big deal since it is only a skin condition. The symptoms may show immediately, monthly, once per year, or never. Herpes sores do not take long before disappearing and do not affect your daily life or dating.

Dealing with Herpes

You may not know much about the infection, but it's good to know the symptoms so you can tell when someone has and take caution. So many people see herpes as a great deal breaker. Would you date someone with herpes? Below is a guide;

Decide on What to Tell Your Partner

Before you start dating again, figure how to start the conversation. You might have quit dating after learning about the positive status. It is always difficult to share your diagnosis for fear of them losing interest. However, ensure that the diagnosis is precise, don't use the abbreviation since it may be difficult to know its meaning.  Instead, try out the following,

  • Recently I was tested HSV positive, Herpes virus though I have never had its outbreak.
  • I get herpes outbreaks occasionally but have been taking medication to prevent transmission.

The virus may transmit asymptomatically even if you use protective, so ensure that your partner understands the risks even if they may be zero or low.

Consider Timing

Talk to them earlier to avoid disappointments. You can add the diagnosis result to your dating profile. Waiting also has its advantage, but make sure you do it before any sexual activity with your partner. If it is your new date, don’t share it first; wait until you get insight into whether you want to continue with the relationship and if they also have an interest in you. Please wait until the bond has grown before talking to them, as this helps them take enough time before they can fully accept the advantages and disadvantages.

Learn the Warning Signs

When the symptoms start to show up, the virus is transmitted quickly. So be keen on the early signs to prevent the risks of spreading the virus to your partner. The symptoms include legs ache, fatigue, mouth tenderness, and low fever. After the sores, you may feel itchy and painful tingling. The symptoms occur during the first outbreak, and they may return milder than earlier.

Prevent Withdrawing from Your Partners

The outbreaking is most disappointing when it happens suddenly, especially if you had an evening date. Tell him there is no sex tonight and that you should only cuddle while watching a horror movie.  Make sure the secession is pretty sexy. 

Work on The Emotional Connection

Sex is vital in any romantic relationship. However, it should not be the reason why your relationship keeps going. To make the relationship thrive, try the following ways of connecting with them.

  • Long romantic walks
  • Share your past stories
  • Try new hobbies together
  • Sharing future goals
  • Exist in the same space

Know-How the Virus is Transmitted

People say that herpes is transmitted easily through toilet seats, sharing soaps, and towels. However, these claims are not valid since the herpes virus does not survive for a long time when out of the body; hence, low risks of the spread.

The virus is killed by water and soap, so it's essential to clean your hands thoroughly after touching the sore while applying medication. Additionally, the virus spreads through body contact, so avoid sleeping in nudes during the outbreak.

Consider Treatment

Currently, there is no cure for herpes, though various virus treatment options are available. Antiviral medication helps in reducing the symptoms and the risks of transmission. However, talk to your doctor before trying it. Other remedies you can also use in treating the sores include the following.

  • Oatmeal baths or baking soda
  • Aloe gel
  • Baking soda (Paste)
  • Supplements include probiotics, vitamin C, and lysine.

Stress is also among the most significant contributors of the symptoms’ outbreak; hence you can reduce stress in your daily life by trying the following:

  • Create time and relax.
  • Enjoy outdoors.
  • Do regular exercise.
  • Limit time with the new virus.

The Bottom Line

Herpes virus has no cure, but various treatment options help in improving the symptoms. Do not worry about the infection since they are just skin sores and don't last long. The sign may appear thrice or never again, and but the second appearance is usually mild. Herpes does not affect your dating life as long as your partner is understanding. However, it is essential to tell them before engaging in any sexual act.

Jekaterina Gussarova
Jekaterina Gussarova


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