Choosing when to explain the birds and the bees is a personal choice. Some parents are repulsed by the idea of their children learning about sex education in primary school whilst others believe it’s never too early to lay the facts out. I am in no way saying that my own methods are the right way to divulge this information however with a one year old, an eight year old and a teenager I thought sharing the recent experiences and chats may help others to relax on the subject.
As a girl I never did receive the birds and bees talks and when my first period arrived I quite simply thought I was bleeding to death. This is why I took the decision to let my children learn early. Already at eight my daughter will come home from school uttering slang words and myths about sex, so I’ve made a point of putting her straight gently without trying to scare her.
My son is now in his teenage years and not too far away from when I first became sexually active. It scares me to look at him and know that I thought I was mature enough to embark on a physical relationship at his tender age. I’m hoping that being honest and forthright he’ll not only develop a little credence at school as his friends use the slang words and myths as gospel but that he’ll also respect women and sex in general.
As my daughter is maturing fast I’ve allowed her to sit in on many conversations, always curious she asks a lot of questions and this helps my son who practically hides behind a cushion with embarrassment.
To both of them I’ve explained about the science bit, the penis, the vagina, the release of an egg, the sperm and the contraception needed if active partners don’t want to conceive a baby. I’ve also explained that until their bodies hit puberty they have no need to worry about embarking on a sexual relationship, but forewarned is forearmed.
This is as far as I’ve gone with my daughter, basically letting her know how babies are made and what to expect when her period arrives. As my own arrived at nine years old she may not be far off!
However as controversial as it may be I’ve actually discussed a lot of taboo subjects with my son, allowing him to make up his own mind and to digest the correct information instead of listening to friend’s advice that is clearly taken from an episode of family guy. No longer can my husband and I talk in code as we have noticed over the last few months that he giggles as much as we do when we use a double entendre.
So when he’s arrived home from school with a new word, such as bumming, johnnies, cumming, rimming, nosh, dogging etc I’ve explained thoroughly what each one means. I’ve also explained that soon he’ll find he’ll notice changes not just in himself but in the girls around him as they all hit that crucial age.
I’ve no idea if this will help or hinder him, as the first born it is a case of trial and error, maybe it’s just my own need to be viewed as a “cool mum” however I am hoping it encourages openness so when he does become sexually active he isn’t embarrassed to ask questions and receive a straight answer.
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