The last time I waxed lyrical about this I mentioned I’d had over 70 first dates few warranting a second. Those that did turned into brief flings that ended abruptly as I didn’t spot the warning signs on the first date! I’m hoping you’ll learn from my mistakes, spotting the signs before you get in too deep!
I find this one difficult as I must admit a couple of times I did go on a first date only to find the expensive bubbly went straight to my head. Luckily I was given a second chance (I didn’t take it though being too mortified), so you may want to try a second date with the drunk. However some drunks get a little too touchy feely, they can become loud and quite simply if you’re not enjoying yourself – get out of there.
I had one that slept on my doorstep as I didn’t like his paws trying to get inside my dress, he would wake and bang on the door every half an hour shouting, “you don’t know what you’re missing, my ex-wife used to say I was a brilliant shag”.
Yes this happens to women too, men will date a successful woman imagining a future where they put their feet up as she brings home the bacon. If he starts delving into your finances and is overly curious about how much you earn ask yourself why. This never really happened to me as I seemed to be attracted to men more successful than myself, however a friend was stung by a serial fraudster who is now in jail for conning many women out of their savings.
This is not in the way you think, for example I often dated men who would be envious of my job as a writer, claiming they always wanted to write a book or wished they’d be paid for their poetry or writing. It was a huge turn off for me as that envy turned to bitterness, in fact there was a whole Sex and the City episode about the exact same scenario. One still sends me poems even though I’ve been married 3 years as he hopes I’ll find him a publisher. He always finishes with, “please tell me why you wouldn’t answer my calls after the first date?”
Although flattering when you’re told you’re “the one” if a man starts talking cohabiting and babies you may want to move away. Even if he does think you’ve clicked, a normal man will keep it to himself until he knows just how you feel and the first date is not the time to blurt it out. I once had a date where he came back for coffee, looked around my flat and then declared that he could picture himself living there, saying, “life’s too short to wait around, why don’t we just do it.” Because you’re a knob, that’s why.
Although there are plenty of websites for those seeking extra marital affairs some are still addicted to that single feeling so they like to pretend they’re single and will not divulge their marriage until the fourth or fifth date, until you’re completely hooked. If he has his phone not just on silent but turned off (he’s pretending he doesn’t have a signal) if he has the tell-tale tan line where the wedding ring should be, or if he pays with a business card, delve a bit deeper.
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