In this day and age when we are all so overcommitted between kids, work, and a whole myriad of other commitments, who has time for a flat out full time relationship? That doesn’t negate that we are all social beings who have sex drives and still need and want to have that special someone in our lives but without all the extra hassles or drama.
So that is where friends with benefits come in.
It is a brilliant concept that is for sure, as long as there are clear ground rules and agreements between both parties to avoid misunderstandings. So it is important that there is some discussion in the very beginning that also allows for some renegotiation if and when that time comes, which it probably will.
On the onset, it can be a perfect solution. No need to move in together. No need to work out all the details and hassles and schedules. No need to be involved with each other’s lives so much that is makes it impossible to still fit in the other things that are important to you such as girl’s night out.
No, friends with benefits can be the perfect solution for women who are too busy to cater to a man full time and who just don’t want to be saddled with that extra responsibility but still want to have great sex with just one man.
But again, ground rules have to be set. You have to be fully aware of what you are getting into Many women once they start having sex with someone get more emotionally attached and that can spell disaster for this type of relationship.
You need to keep yourself in check and if you know for a fact that your chosen man has his life set up whereby he is not going to change his mind anytime soon and want to switch into something more committed, then don’t let yourself go down that path of sure pain and frustration.
Set it up for yourself so that you get what you need – if it’s a roll in the hay once or twice a week, but make sure you keep all your other commitments on track. Don’t find yourself cancelling on your girlfriends or moving things around so that all of a sudden you are finding yourself wanting more and more. That is the recipe for a disaster or worse, heart ache.
Not to say that some of these FWB relationships can’t turn into something more, but don’t set up that expectation from the beginning that’s all. Just go with the flow, find a man who can be fun to hang with, have great sex, and then go home. It can be exactly what the doctor ordered.
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