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by Katie Peachesa April 09, 2020 5 min read

How Do I Try Anal Sex and Anal Sex Toys for the First Time?

By Ekaterina Mironova

Anal sex was once considered a taboo subject, but over the past 20 years there has been a real surge in interest. As general attitudes toward sex evolve, we're less likely to consider sexual practices as being niche or perverted. That means many of us feel more confident in exploring our pleasure boundaries outside of the vanilla practices we learn about during sex education.

Prior to the improved PR surrounding anal play (mainly thanks to the increased availability of porn and the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy), anal was something that was kept very much under wraps. Finding reliable resources to educate on the practice was difficult and the general myth that it's painful for the receiver and only fun for the penetrator reigned supreme. It is now much more commonly accepted that anal sex can be a safe and a fun way to expand your sexual repertoire, with both men and women reaping the erotic rewards of a little bum fun.

All it takes is a little prior thought and knowledge to have great anal sex and in this blog I'm going to run you through the dos and don'ts of anal play and help you to choose your first anal sex toy.

How to Try Anal Sex for the First Time

The thing about anal sex is that it's easy to get wrong. If you go in all guns blazing without forethought then you will indeed find the experience to be painful and you won't be in any particular hurry to try again.

Your first step is to make sure you use plenty of anal lube. These specialist sex lubricants are thicker and longer-lasting than the usual lubes you'd use for sex or with sex toys. Apply the lubricant to both your butt and whatever you intend to put inside it, be it a finger, a toy or a penis.

Just like with vaginal sex, foreplay is beneficial. Take time to warm up with a finger (watch those nails!) by gently circling the anus before slowly and gently pushing inside. Move onto a beginner's butt plug and it's easier to acclimatise to the sensations of anal penetration, allowing your body to become accustomed to the experience and letting your muscles to relax. The trick is to take things slowly and softly.

If you want to try anal sex with a partner, make sure that the strap-on dildo or penis is thoroughly lubricated and ensure that the recipient guides play. The best position to start with is spooning. Lay with your back to your partner and slowly guide them inside you at a pace that suits you. If you're having trouble or it feels painful, take a step back and try some more foreplay. If you still feel pain then it might be best to stop play and leave it for another time to ensure you don't cause any injuries!

Make sure that throughout your experimentation you keep lubrication topped up. The anus isn't self lubricating and a lack of slippery wetness can cause unnecessary problems.

How to Choose an Anal Sex Toy for Beginners

Anal sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, so make sure you read product descriptions carefully before making your purchase. It can be hard to judge scale from photos, so it's worth double checking the measurements to ensure that you don't end up with a giant butt plug! Beginner's butt plugs tend to measure between 1 and 3 inches in length and have a slimline circumference of anywhere between 0.5 inches and 3 inches.

The shape of the butt plug you choose is just as important as size. A tapered butt plug with a narrow tip that slowly widens toward the base is ideal for beginners because it's easier to insert and helps you work your way up easily to a bigger girth.

All butt plugs have a flared or widened base to prevent them from going anywhere once they're inserted, so you can wear them during other sexual activity. The best way to move from anal foreplay to sex is by wearing the butt plug during other sexual activity such as vaginal penetration, foreplay or oral sex. The more pleasure you experience during anal foreplay, the easier and more enjoyable it will feel, helping your body to relax and your mind to better associate the sensations of anal penetration with pleasure.

Other Types of Anal Sex Toys

You don't have to stick with butt plugs as a beginner, although they are the most common first-time purchase. Anal dildos come in smaller sizes to help you warm up, but ensure you buy a dildo with a flared base so you have the same security you'd find with an anal plug.

To maximise sensation you can try an anal vibrator or vibrating butt plug. These offer the same experience as regular butt plugs and anal dildos, but once you're ready to can escalate the feelings they create by turning on the vibrations. Look for vibrating anal sex toys with a wired or remote control as these best enable you to activate and change settings during play.

Condoms and Anal Sex

Many people prefer to enjoy anal sex and use anal sex toys with condoms to ensure cleanliness. You can use regular condoms, but make sure you still apply extra lubrication. Make sure you use condoms that closely fit the measurements of your sex toy or his penis to prevent breakage. Because your butt is much tighter than a vagina, it puts a little extra strain on the latex. For this reason extra-strong condoms are often preferred for anal sex.

Keeping things clean is nice and easy thanks to anal douches. These simple sex essentials are filled with lukewarm water, making it easy to to ensure cleanliness throughout play. You should never use any soapy solutions as these can irritate the sensitive lining to the anal passage.

You should aim to use the bathroom and then douche at least 30 minutes before play to give your body time to settle. Douching is simple and safe but you shouldn't be over zealous with it, so limit douching to no more than once or twice a week so as not to interrupt the natural bacteria required to keep your bottom healthy.

How Often Can I Have Anal Sex?

There's no set standard for how often anal sex can be enjoyed, but just listen to your body! If you feel any pain or soreness then you should give yourself a week or more off to ensure any cuts or sores have fully healed. Always be sensible with play and make sure that you don't push your boundaries too hard or too fast and you'll always find anal sex to be a pleasurable and intimate experience with your partner, regardless of your gender or sexuality.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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