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by Katie Peachesa April 10, 2020 5 min read

How to Be More Romantic in a Relationship

By Elena Ognivtseva

The new series of It’s Love Actually has thrown up some incredible statistics on our views of romance. In particular what men seem to thing “being romantic” is.

Being romantic apparently means:

Pretending to Listen

Not just listening, but pretending to listen is apparently a romantic gesture from a man to a woman. A lot of men seriously believe that this is a nice thing to do.

Personally, if you’re one of the men pretending to listen to their partner, I believe you should cut your losses and walk away. Marriage is teamwork and listening is all part and parcel of spending your life with your best friend. If you don’t listen to each other, you’re on the road to nowhere. I wonder how men would feel if women did the same.

Each to their own though and some women can be natter boxes!

If you want to know what a woman finds romantic, read on as a little romance goes a long way to keeping your lover happy:

Thoughtful Romance

Thoughtfulness is the key to romance. For example, planning a cosy night in with a film is great yet you can propel this to romance status by remembering her all-time favourite film, cooking her favourite meal and adding some personal touches.

Candles obviously add romance but how about tea light candles arranged in a message, such as “I love you”. The same can be done with rose petals.

Remember the nineties when we made mix tapes? They were romantic. Now you may have to pinch her iPod and download a selection that make you think of her. Listen to all of the lyrics first as she will hear every word!

You can also write her a poem, that is truly romantic and a gift that will be treasured forever.

Using What You’ve Learned

If you’ve listened to her over the years you’ll remember facts such as her favourite toy as a child, her favourite holiday and so on. Collecting this information is vital for romance. Sometimes it’s just enough to get her the perfect present without asking what she wants or you can go the whole hog.

For example if she loves Paris recreate it for when she comes home from work with everything French (including the kisses). If she adores sunsets, take drinks and a blanket outside ten minutes before and hold her as she watches it set behind the trees. If she finds stars magical, learn the consolations, and stroke her as you point to the different ones in the sky, don’t forget to make it personal by naming one after her.

Everyday Events Become Romantic

Many men believe that little acts such as doing the dishes are romantic. Of course they are helpful but to fall into the romantic category it should be something you do purely for her. Hoovering or washing the dishes is something you’ll both benefit from regardless of if she usually does it the most, so it is labelled in her mind as helpful rather than loving.

Instead, using the everyday theme, choose something else such as:

Cleaning out her car

This sounds silly but if you clean her car and top up the oil and water, she’ll feel all fuzzy inside. It shows you’re taking care of her and you really do worry about her on the road. It’s a wonderful act to show how much you think of her even when you’re apart.

Tackling her to do list

Does she have a list of jobs to do once she gets home from work? See what you can take off her hands so that she can relax quicker. She’ll be very grateful and you’ll soon be labelled as the no.1 boyfriend or partner.

Purely Personal Romance

Romance for women is often about being taken care of, of the man taking the lead and just proving how much he loves and cherishes the girl.

This is why romance is always served best as a surprise, as it not only takes the breath away but shows you need no prompting to show how much you care.

Intimate romance can be magical, forget equal rights and feminism, even if just once every few months women love to be treated like a delicate flower.

Here’s how:

Wash her

There’s nothing more intimate than washing someone else; from her hair to her toes, pick out (or buy) luxurious products that smell fantastic and wash her ever so gently. If you do this while sharing a bath, wash yourself too.

Make sure you have warm fluffy towels ready then take her somewhere very comfortable. Use her body lotion or massage oil to continue the care you’ve started. This part will probably end in some great lovemaking, especially if you tease her with strokes to the inner thighs and other foreplay techniques, however to make it more memorable, after climax, carry on.

Dress her in her favourite nightwear, bring her a meal in bed, and give her the comforts that make her feel completely cared for. Listen as she talks and don’t stop touching. You may find you descend into sex again, or you could just cuddle as you relax, either way she’ll think more of you for not just stopping as soon as you got what you wanted.

Sometimes, the most romantic thing can be simply putting someone else’s needs before your own and showing just how much their happiness means to you. Great after play is also one of the most romantic acts a man can give, as women can orgasm again and again but many men can’t. Going the extra mile to give those multiple orgasms after you’ve had your fill proves that you’re not only an unselfish lover, but you’re incredible in bed too.

IT’s these little things that earn men the tags of being the best lovers, the before and after, the unselfishness of sex, not the actual bump and grind!

Publicly Romantic

Every woman adores the thought of a man shouting from the rooftops just how wonderful she is. This isn’t egomania behaviour, it’s simply romance personified as it demonstrates your love to the world, showing you’re proud to have bagged the girl.

There’s no reason why this should stop no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, as a woman does like to be reminded.

In Public

Declaring your love in a restaurant, on a train, at a family party, or even at work will give you incredible brownie points. As a bonus, if you’re planning the event, ask a friend to record it with an iPhone then upload it to YouTube for the world to see.

With Words

It’s not often done these days but it’s still incredibly romantic, such as big banners on the roadside, an advert in a newspaper or even a carving into your favourite tree. It will be remembered and not only will your partner think you’re the best lover ever, all of her friends will too.

With the Web

One way to publicly display your love is with a status update on Facebook, a Tweet, a YouTube video or a blog. Posting a poem on her wall or even just listing the reasons you love her is one of the most romantic things you can do in the modern age.

Yes it may make others puke but that’s through jealousy nothing else. Let everyone else know not just how special she is but WHY she’s so special to you. Make sure you print the list and frame it, as along with poems, this is the best romantic gift you can ever give.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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