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by Katie Peachesa April 10, 2020 2 min read

How to Initiate Sex with a Woman

By Elena Ognivtseva

Whether you've just met someone or you're in a long term relationship, the tricky problem of how to initiate sex always rears its ugly head.

Through letters and experience I've noticed that still some men are a little clueless, which often leaves them without the leg over they so desperately craved. Here are some pointers on how to get what you want while putting a smile on your lover's face. Along with some pointers of what NOT to do.

Just Ask

Sometimes in long relationships, sex is planned as the kids are out; the house is empty so you need to make the most of it while you can. This is ok for keeping a sex life alive but nothing beats the feeling of following an urge when it comes, satisfying that hunger and letting your horniness treat you to something special. Not only does it ensure you have impromptu sex, it also brings back memories of when you met which keeps the romance alive.


Even if you've been married ten years you should still flirt with each other. From smutty to subtle, flirt with her, compliment her; let her see that twinkle in your eye. Many men end up frustrated because they think their efforts are being ignored when really; their partner didn't know it was their attempt at seduction in the first place.

Don't Cuddle

A lot of men think that a cuddle can lead to sex. The only way it does, is if your partner knows this is your tactic and so initiates it herself. This can cause resentment, as the woman feels as though she always makes the move when the man believes he's made the first move by giving a cuddle.

Think about it, once you're hugging you have to pull away in order to come together again. Hugging is for friends and for after sex, it's not romantic or sexy, more friendly and comforting. Stop cuddling, start seducing.

Touch and Talk

It doesn't matter if this is the first or the thousandth time you've had sex, touching and talking works. Turn off the TV, have a conversation and as you chat, add flirting, compliments and stroke lightly.

The areas to concentrate on first are the inner wrist, the neck, (as you stroke her hair or push it behind her ears) or the palms of the hand. Don't rub – stroke, with feather light touches. Look into her eyes and pay attention to what she's saying as you do so.

Follow Your Fingers

As she becomes more aroused, (yes stroking of the inner wrist and neck can do this), follow up the strokes with light little kisses. Now your hands are free you can gently stroke more intimate areas that should be tingling. The inner thighs, behind the knees, the very delicate stroke of a hard nipple through cloth. Then follow your hands again as the passion heats up.

Once you know she's aroused, kiss her, with tongues and enjoy the ride. Confidence is the key!

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.

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