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by Katie Peachesa April 17, 2020 2 min read

How to Introduce Strap On Play to your Man – for Heterosexual or Bisexual Women

By Tatyana Dyachenko

You may have wondered what it would feel like to wear a strap-on and pleasure your man, or perhaps you have fantasised about being the penetrative partner and being on top.

Many heterosexual or bisexual women enjoy strapping on a dildo and pleasuring their male partner anally. This form of penetrative sex play is much more common than you think, and many women find it hugely arousing and empowering to strap it on.

Strap On – Misconceptions

If strap-on play is new to both, letting your man know that you would like to strap-it-on and pleasure him can be scary. Whilst many heterosexual men are curious, misconceptions abound about what it means if you would like to engage in anal play as a man.

In reality, the sexual practice you enjoy does not determine your sexual orientation and many heterosexual men enjoy anal pleasure with their female lovers.

If you have never discussed it before, how can you know if he will embrace the idea or be repelled? The longer you have been in a relationship, the harder it can be to introduce a new sexual activity – depending on how open and exploratory your relationship is.

There may never be the perfect moment, so choose a time when both of you feel connected…not if he is tired and stressed from work, or as you are heading out the door.

Strap On – Tips on How to Introduce It

Bringing home a Peaches and Screams catalogue, watching a movie featuring strap-on’s or reading him an erotic short with a strap-on storyline, can be a gentle introduction and can be followed up by a shopping trip to a Peaches and Screams store to meet your future strap-on.

Starting to explore anal pleasure using buttplugs, fingers and anal vibrators can be a natural lead-in to strap-on sex.

When your first discuss your desire wear a strap-on, stick to positive language and own it…for example “I would love to pleasure you anally and see your hot butt bending over for me.”

During your discussion about strap-on sex, ask her how he feels about the idea and what he is thinking, you may need to give him a few days to think about it and arrange another time to discuss it. He may struggle with the many misconceptions such as that he must be gay or perverted, he may be uncertain about being submissive or receptive during sex, or be concerned about the poo factor.

Let him know what you feel about him and how you want to explore and build on your sexual relationship with him.

While it may be scary or stressful bringing up the topic of your desire to wear strap-on and pleasure your man, it could also be the start of a whole new world of sexual desire and intimacy and a risk worth taking.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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