Whether you have recently come out of a relationship or if you’ve been single for some time, searching for a new partner can be a daunting and stressful task! It may be that you are a bit out of practice when it comes to reintegrating yourself back into the dating scene, or that your self-esteem isn’t as high as it should be. If you’ve been in a long-term committed relationship starting to date again can be particularly difficult as you may still carry strong feeling (whether of love or hate…or both!) for your ex. I would suggest to anyone out there who is struggling to get over their ex that jumping straight back into dating probably isn’t the best thing for you right now. Take at least six months off and enjoy being you again; pamper yourself, find a new hobby, redecorate your home, and allow yourself to heal before attempting to find ‘the one’ you’ve been waiting for. You will know when you’re ready.
If you do feel that you are ready to hit the dating scene again and you’re looking for some simple tips and advice read on!
Make more friends:
The more friends you have the greater number of social circles you will find yourself in. Dating is all about number; the more friends you have the more likely you are to meet that special someone through them. Also, make sure that you join groups and clubs which centre around your hobbies so that you can meet as many like-minded people as possible. If you don’t have time to dedicate hours and hours to socialising why not try online dating? Just make sure that you meet with people in a busy place and let your friends know what you are doing so they can ring you for an update during the evening. It’s better to be safe than sorry!
If you find someone you like and you think that the relationship might be worth pursuing then go ahead and ask them on a date. The worst thing they can say is no thanks, so be bold and go for it! If you’re not the ‘go-get-um’ type then invite the object of your affection to a group activity with your friends to test the water. Going out as a group takes the pressure off as it’s not really classed as a date. If the activity goes well and you have good chemistry then ask them on a proper date! You can recognise if someone is in to you by watching their body language; do they seem relaxed but eager, do they mirror your body position, and do they maintain eye-contact and really listen to what you are saying? If they exhibit these behaviours the chances are they fancy you to!
It’s easy to get carried away if your first date went well, but try not to get too excited as this is a massive turn off. It’s ok to text or call after the date to say you enjoyed yourself, but don’t start texting constantly. Play it cool, but be friendly and don’t push for a second date if the other party isn’t keen. If they don’t suggest a second date it could be that they are nervous, so suggest it, but don’t badger them if they don’t reply. There’s plenty more fish in the sea after all! Also, if you feel that you want to have first date sex then go ahead, but be mindful of the message you are conveying. Waiting until the third or fourth date might be a better idea to ensure mutual respect and to ascertain if your date is looking for a proper relationship and not just a fling.
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