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by Katie Peachesa April 19, 2020 2 min read

How to Tactfully Tackle Impotence

By Elena Ognivtseva

Problems ‘getting it up’ are fairly commonplace and almost every man experiences one form of erectile dysfunction at some stage. However, that fact, doesn’t make it easier on him or you. So, how do you deal with erection problems in a relationship?

Once a relationship has reached the comfortable, ‘for keeps’ phase, your sex life is likely to become a little more mellow and, perhaps, routine. Nevertheless, an active sex life is still important in a healthy, happy relationship. So, what do you do, if your boyfriend or husband is experiencing impotence?

When Does the Problem Become a Real Problem?

Many guys, almost all in fact, will experience some form of erectile dysfunction. And it’s not just men of a ‘certain age’, young, seemingly virile men are just as susceptible to occasional episodes of impotence.

So you might think, it’s no big deal, and in many cases it really isn’t. A number of things can cause temporary erectile dysfunction, inducing:

  • Stress
  • Alcohol
  • Drugs (such as anti-depressants)
  • Smoking (there’s a reason to give up, boys)
  • Depression
  • Performance anxiety

If it is just a one off, then there’s absolutely no need to worry. Chances are, he would rather stick pins in his eyes than discuss it, and you simply need to reassure him that it’s no big deal.

The real problem arises (pardon the pun) when it starts to become a regular occurrence. Not only could this be indicative of a medical concern, such as kidney failure, neurogenic disorders or cavernosal disorders, but, if ignored, it could also lead to the destruction of your relationship.

How to Talk to Your Lover About Erectile Dysfunction

This is possibly one of the most difficult subjects to broach with a husband or boyfriend, simply because not being able to ‘get it up’ is a huge blow to the male ego. His self-esteem will be incredibly low and he is, therefore, likely to become very withdrawn and completely silent on the subject.

Unfortunately, even if you approach the problem in a calm, understanding manner, he is likely to try to shut you out. If this is the case, you might like to nudge him quietly in the direction of some magazine articles or online literature on the subject. Remind him how common it is and explain that you don’t view him any differently.

Treating the Problem

How a particular case of erectile dysfunction is treated will depend upon the cause. If there’s an underlying medical condition, this will, of course, have to be treated in the first instance.

If the problem is caused by a psychological problem, it may require counseling or natural stress or depression relief.

And then, of course, there are PDE5 inhibitor drugs, such as Viagra.

Regardless of the cause, however, it is important to realise that the vast majority of cases of erectile dysfunction are treatable. This is something both you and your lover should be aware of.

Remember, although it’s never an easy subject to broach, and you will almost invariably encounter resistance, erectile problems can have a devastating effect on your relationship and/or his health if they are ignored.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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