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July 29, 2022 5 min read

HOW TO TALK DIRTY

Do you know how to talk dirty with your partner? This article highlights aspects of talking dirty, including; seeking consent, being enthusiastic, and roleplaying.

You will avoid dirty talk if you are shy and do not know how to do it. It may feel awkward or strange when you are requested to do it first. Get relaxed a little as dirty talk is not as complicated as the biochemical pathways or quantum science. Mastering it depends more on your comfort level than your knowledge. Thoughts of how your partner will view you should not deter you from trying it out. Not until you get used to it will you unravel how easy and fun it is. There are always the first-time goosebumps that can be overcome with a little tip and practice. Did you know that dirty talks mostly maintain long-distance relationships? Here are some tips to help you overcome your barrier if you want to maintain yours (not necessarily long-distance).

Take It Easy – Do Not Pressure Yourself.

Allow yourself to go at your speed. Nobody except you is on your timetable to acquire dirty talking techniques. Texting your fantasies can be a better option if you're not ready for any face-to-face play yet.

Seek Consent

You may want to know how the other partner might respond. This is a clever way to avoid any awkward communication or regrets. You may ask questions like 'I cannot stop thing about us…do you want to know my thoughts" or " I like to talk nasty during sex, is it appropriate to you?". Converse about nasty talk so that everyone's expectations and aspirations are met. Perhaps "soft" is a compliment to you. your spouse interprets it as a critique of their weight. Maybe you like it when you're labeled a "slut" when having sex, but the name upsets your partner. However, there is no standard formula, and each pair must make its own. Once you've established that you're both up for some nasty talk, sitting down with your partner, going over sexual activities and body parts, and asking each other which terms and phrases are extremely thrilling or total turn-offs is recommended. You may convert it into nasty talk foreplay or a rapid Band-Aid rip-off scenario. Like any other sex, you would want to discuss obscene words ahead of time.

Have Next Level Confidence

Whenever sex gets in the picture, everyone gets anxious or maybe at some point. Although it may appear difficult, confidence is essential. Pretend till you do if you don't have it yet. This is how;

Be Enthusiastic

Lead with excitement, regardless of how you're feeling. People might feel liked and desired if you show excitement for what you're doing and the person you're with. What if they believe they are wanted? They'll be more inclined to assist you in feeling that way. Furthermore, it will likely encourage the person you're with to be daring and say or do new things.

Make sexy sounds

Chion (2019) advised that you could make sounds if you're together and exchange audio notes if you are apart. An "mmm," "oh baby," or other moan-like sounds will urge your spouse to keep talking or doing what they're doing.

Do Not Overthink

You can state what you're doing or would like to do. Use the five senses to describe everything. You may share what you feel, hear, see, or smell. Make it as simple as possible. Let it flow naturally. Allow the obscene conversation to enhance rather than detract from your sexual encounter. The sooner you let go of the strain you place on yourself, the simpler it will be to explore your sexual experience.

Focus On What Turns You On

Each individual has different things that turn them on. They may be phrases like "yes, Daddy, "punish me, "or your favorite body part of your partner. This helps in arousing you; hence, the nasty talk continues.

Describe What You Are Doing

Start small and see how you and your partner respond if you're a newbie, especially if this is something you've never discussed before. There is a simple method to accomplish this. State what you're doing with them or what you wish to do with them. (Be careful not to seem too clinical.) This isn't the solution, but it's a great way to get your spouse off unless that's their dream. If you text and do not get a reply immediately, do not panic or delete the text; give them ample time to formulate their response. It may be way too seducing than yours.

Read Arousing Novels Together.

Palmer et al. (2020) stated that reading erotic novels with a partner is another approach to teaching sexual language. Reading novels like this together might help you figure out what makes you hard or turns you on. It's also a good approach to lighten the mood by injecting a little comedy into the experiment.

Roleplay

Benjamin(2022) revealed that roleplay is a great technique to avoid taking responsibility for your word choices since your "character" does. For example, if one is playing to the dungeon lord, you could feel more comfortable using language you wouldn't normally use. You had to keep in character. Roleplay allows us to step up and do things we would not have tried otherwise. If it goes well, you can always play the part again in the future. You can get rid of it if it doesn't work.

Avoid Specificity

You do not have to specify your partner's cup size or girth while describing the event to them. "I adore your body" makes a partner want to know more. You might start the conversation if you wish to include some adjectives; generic terms like big, large, and moist work nicely. Herbenick et al. (2022) stated that being too specific might turn off your partner or possibly upset them, especially if they are not comfortable with some of their body parts.

Conclusion

You can comfortably talk dirty with your partner anytime. You can try out different talks and find the one your partner enjoys the most. The more you do it, the better at it you become. Move out of your comfort zone and talk dirty with your partner. Be enthusiastic about the things you do with your partner. Male sexy sounds while talking or having sexual intercourse to make the game interesting. Include foreplay in your game to have a pleasurable experience.

References

Benjamin, J. (2022). Changing The Game: The Rhetorical Approach Of "No Dice, No Masters" Tabletop RPG (Doctoral Dissertation, The University Of North Carolina At Greensboro).

Chion, M. (2019). 2. The Three Listening Modes. In Audio-Vision: Sound On Screen (Pp. 22-34). Columbia University Press.

Herbenick, D., Guerra-Reyes, L., Patterson, C., Rosenstock Gonzalez, Y. R., Wagner, C., & Zounlome, N. (2022). "It Was Scary, But Then It Was Kind Of Exciting": Young Women's Experiences With Choking During Sex. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 51(2), 1103-1Elmer

Palmer, M. M., & Hirsch, J. S. (2022). Putting The "Comprehensive" In Comprehensive Sexuality Education: A Review Exploring Young Adult Literature As A School-Based Intervention. Sexuality Research And Social Policy, 1-12.

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