They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that goes double when you're turning down a girl who's hitting on you! For most women, plucking up the courage to turn the tables and hit on a guy takes a special kind of effort, and turning a woman down is bound to leave her feeling embarrassed, pissed off or both. But often the attraction isn't mutual, or taking her up on the offer simply isn't appropriate. So what's a guy to do? Fortunately there are simple ways of containing the fallout, allowing you to walk away without looking like a jerk.
When dealing with a friend of a friend: No doubt your buddy thought you two would be great together, so give them a call and tell them that whilst the date was fun, the girl just isn't your type. The middleman will handle things from there and be sure to let your date down easy. Things get a bit more complicated though if she makes the outreach herself and asks for another date. If that's the case, give her a call and tell her a white lie like 'I'm really flattered, but I'm afraid I'm interested in someone else right now.' Calling is far classier than texting or, God forbid, not replying at all, and helps to take the sting out of the rejection.
How to turn down a close friend: This one can get seriously awkward. Normally doing things in person is the right way to go, but in this case a well worded email is a better option. Turning down a close friend entails all kinds of tricky emotions but it's not something one can just walk away from either. Discuss the problem in person and you risk saying too much and giving them false hope, which can make your relationship irreparably awkward. Rather write an email letting her know how bad it feels to turn her down and be sure to give a reason as to why you don't think it would work out. Never put the blame on her. If you're struggling to think of an excuse fall back on the 'I don't trust myself not to ruin our friendship' routine, which, if you're good friends, is probably the truth. Email might seem impersonal, but it allows you to be clear and gives you both the space to calm down without things getting too dramatic.
Rejecting a co worker: Another tricky one, as you'll have to see her Monday to Friday, nine to five, and you really don't want awkwardness hanging over your head. So when you get that suggestive text message or sugar coated email, play it cool. Ask her to come with you on a coffee run during a work break, and bring up the topic then. A coffee run is a good idea as it feels less like a date, and takes the discussion out of the workplace in case things turn ugly. Tell her something like 'Hey, I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about that message you sent me, but it's probably a bad idea to date a co worker.' Letting her know you've thought about dating will flatter her without leading her on, taking the sting out of the rejection. Plus, if you time the conversation right, you'll both have to get back to the job shortly after, which gives you both an escape from any awkwardness.
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