Is your love life getting boring and predictable? Have you lost interest in sexual intimacy ... even though you still care about your partner? It happens to so many couples who have been together for a while. Sex becomes more of a habit than a thrill, and they may secretly start to wonder if the excitement is gone forever. If this sounds like your situation, there is plenty you can do to turn things around. Here are a few ideas for heating up your sex life.
Both men and women can suffer from sexual boredom or lack of interest, but this is a suggestion that women in particular should take to heart. From time to time you may need to get back in touch with your sensual self. Read erotic stories or watch sexy movies. Fantasize and masturbate. Sexual desire is a funny thing - it needs to be fed or it withers away. There's a lot of truth to the saying, "Use it or lose it." Or to look at this principle in a more positive way: the more you do it, the more you want to do it.
A change of scenery can work wonders for your sex life. Away from the everyday scramble, you may feel more relaxed and less inhibited. Leave the kids with their grandparents ... and definitely leave the Blackberry at home. If you can't fit a weekend or holiday getaway into your schedule, you can simply stay at home, turn off the phone and TV, and devote some uninterrupted time to your partner.
Maybe the two of you need a little retail therapy. Take your partner shopping for sex toys, either online or at your local adult boutique. If toys don't appeal to you, you can browse the DVD section or pick up a bottle of scented massage oil to make the evening more special.
Lazy is a little harsh, perhaps. But let's face facts: you've probably been making love the same way for months or even years. If that's the case, it's no wonder that boredom is setting in. For an antidote, make a vow that your usual activities are off-limits. Start completely from scratch in your lovemaking. At the very least, try something different or unusual. If you normally focus on certain parts of the body, turn your attention to other parts. Pick an activity neither one of you has ever done, and do it.
In some relationships, the way it works is that one person initiates intimacy and directs most of the action. Try switching roles so that the more passive partner is in charge. Here is your chance to see what the view is like from another perspective. If you're not used to being on top (or bottom), you're in for a surprise.
Considering how obsessed our culture is with sexuality, it's shocking how little time people spend actually discussing sex with their partners. If the two of you rarely or never talk about your love life, it's time to change that. Tell your partner about your erotic wishes and fantasies. Speak in positive terms, never critically. Ask about her desires (or his). Don't assume you know what your partner likes. Listen carefully. Work out how the two of you can have the sex life of your dreams, together.
Sexual boredom may be a common problem in a long-term relationship, but it's certainly not inevitable. Don't think that there is something wrong with you - or your partner - if intimacy has become a little routine. And don't despair that the passion has gone forever. Instead, use some of these suggestions or come up with your own creative ideas to revive the erotic chemistry you and your lover once shared.
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