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August 03, 2022 3 min read


There is no such thing as an ideal marriage. Over time, every relationship goes through struggles. If these issues are not handled, they can persist and crowd out the previously present love. Here is what you should do when you feel you hate your husband.

Disappointment, frustration, resentment, and hatred may wreak havoc on what began as a lovely relationship. If you feel like you despise your husband, this article will help you examine the causes of your feelings and devise a strategy to change your attitude. Read on to find out how to save your marriage.

Where Did The Hatred Come From?

Hating your partner isn't something that happens suddenly. Different issues may fuel your hatred. You'll need to take a tough, honest look at what's truly going on to get started on the road to recovery. Relationships are different, and while several common issues can lead to hatred, your motivations for despising your spouse are unique to you. Here are the common factors that may lead to hatred in a relationship.

Financial Stress

This is one of the most prevalent and toughest marital concerns. Financial problems in a relationship can start the day after a costly wedding, and they only become worse when you add in a home, retirement funds, and your children's fees. Tussles about everything from the shopping budget to the amount of money spent on beers with the boys can also escalate financial squabbles.

Mismatched Sexual Desires

Even couples on the same page in every other aspect of their relationship may have different sexual desires. It doesn't take long for this to turn into an issue. Before you realize it, your irritation will spill over into every aspect of your married life. You may end up resenting and despising your husband.

You Married Him Expecting He Would Change

Individuals marry for different reasons. Regardless of the motivation, you should not anticipate your partner to change during your marriage. You and your spouse might be able to help each other grow, but you shouldn't change your partner to fit your requirements. Acceptance is necessary for a good marriage.


Negative feelings easily arise when dealing with someone's compulsive actions. Your husband could be wasting money on addictions or becoming violent while intoxicated. Luckily, therapists and programs like support groups can help with these compulsions. However, your partner must desire and work towards the change. Your marriage may not survive if your husband rejects help.


You may despise your partner because he is emotionally or physically violent. He may abuse you by hurting or manipulating you. It's natural to have unpleasant thoughts toward your husband in these situations. If you are still affectionate towards your husband, you may feel conflicted. 

How Do You  Recover From Hating Your Husband?

Once you've figured out why you despise your husband, focus on improving the relationship and devising a strategy to restore your love. There is no quick remedy, but it is possible with motivation and commitment.

Choose Happiness

Deciding to be happy is one of the most fundamental ways to transform your relationship. By choosing to be joyful, you shift your attention away from the wrongs and towards the rights. This adjustment allows you to see your husband's side of the story and make a wise decision. 

Go to Therapy

A professional, whether a referee, mediator, or relationship advisor, will assist you in identifying the fundamental issues and developing fresh solutions. Therapy sessionsmight give you a safe environment to talk about your problems and teach you how to make the changes you need in your marriage. Therapy can help you communicate more effectively, settle conflicts, express your needs, and establish limits in your marriage.


Relationships survive on the give and take mechanism. It's a good idea to compromise even if you don't believe you're in the wrong. When your partner sees you working on a solution, they might be motivated to do the same. Avoid blaming your partner for your relationship's problems. 

The Bottom Line

Hatred for someone you once cared about enough to commit your life to is a scary feeling that can gradually consume you. When hatred grows within a marriage, it can be difficult to turn things around. You should be willing to work through the difficulties that have brought you to the point where you despise him. Whatever the case may be, trying the techniques outlined above may help revive your dying marriage.

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