Call Us: 03303213145 (lines open 8am to 4:30pm)

0

Your Cart is Empty

by Katie Peachesa April 25, 2020 6 min read

Introducing a Vibrator into your relationship – Dos and Don’ts

By Tatyana Dyachenko

Bringing a Vibrator into a relationship can be a touchy subject. If your partner has never used a sex toy he or she may feel offended by the suggestion to use one or just plain weirded out. The best way to approach the topic is with an open mind and consideration for your partner’s feelings.

If the relationship is new, you should let your partner know in the beginning that you’re the kind of person who is into sex toys. If not, you aren’t doomed to a sex life sans vibrating toys forever. Here are a couple of things that you should steer clear of doing if you want your partner to open up to the idea of vibrators.

Don’t

Interrupt sex with your vibrator

Don’t interrupt sex to walk over to your “secret” hiding place and say “Wanna try this?” Chances are your partner will say no and your passion-filled night will probably come to an abrupt end. If your partner does not know that you play with a vibrator, he or she may feel like you lied or tricked them into doing something. It will also bring up feelings of inadequacy, since you needed a sex toy to secretly fulfill yourself. This will lead to hurt feelings, possibly resentment and the idea that you have a sexual advantage over your partner. Moves like this can be detrimental to your relationship, so think about when you want to spring the vibrator on your partner.

Bring up the subject at a bad time

Piggy-backing off of the first suggestion, think about when you want to start a discussion about vibrators. You don’t want to bring up a conversation about a vibrator when you don’t have enough time or before, during or after sex. Talking about sex is difficult for some couple and if you don’t allot time to for the two of you to express yourselves, you can forget about using a vibrator in bed—it will never happen.

Be accusatory

Never suggest using a vibrator to make up for something that is missing sexually. Vibrators are additions to an already fulfilling relationship, not a quick fix. Stay away from phrases like “you don’t do this or that” or “you never . . . “ This will only make your partner want to do less for you.

Get so wrapped up in your vibrator

The sensations that your vibrator gives you are out of this world, but if your partner is open to using one, don’t make him or her feel invisible. In other words, pay attention to your partner! Show him or her how the vibrator works and what makes you feel good. Experiment together and finish off together, at least the first time. You want your partner to know you don’t need the vibrator to be satisfied.

Since you’ve learned what not to do, let’s check out the best ways to convince your partner that a vibrator is a great addition to your sexual routine. Get your partner to enjoy vibrators with you.

Introducing a Vibrator into your relationship – Do’s

It’s important to ease your partner into using a vibrator with you. If they are completely against it, you might have to soften them up first, but whatever you do, steer clear of some things (Things you just shouldn’t do) Now that you know what to steer clear of, take a look at a few ways to show your partner why using a vibrator together is an awesome form of sex play.

Remember: Just because you haven’t said or done anything bad doesn’t mean that your partner is going to be ready to use a vibrator. You might still be treading on thin ice, so be cautious and always compassionate.

Here are some helpful tips that might turn your dildo talk into dildo play!

Do

Bring up using a vibrator when the mood is right.

By the mood being right, we mean make sure a discussion about vibrators doesn’t happen when your partner is agitated or tired. Relax and let the troubles of the day melt away. Make a nice dinner. Set a comfortable ambiance in somewhere other than the bedroom, so your partner does not feel anxious or pressured.

Explain what a vibrator is and does

As silly as it sounds, you need to do this. Your partner might not know that there are many kinds of vibrator, not all of them look like the Rabbit Habbit™. Explain to your partner that a vibrator could help both of you reach more powerful orgasms and that they are even helpful assets in making women squirt (if that’s what you’re into). Let your partner know that a vibrating toy is in no way a substitute to him or her, and that you are completely satisfied but just want to try something new.

Let your partner know that you are already satisfied with your sex life
Reinforce to your partner that there is nothing wrong with your sex life; in fact, if you were dissatisfied you probably would have given up on talking about it. Tell your partner that you enjoy the two of you alone, but that you are curious about the way he or she could make you feel with a sex toy. Also, let them know that a vibrator can be used when he or she is away on business.

Listen to your partner

If nothing else, listen to your partner. He or she has some very important things to say. Sex is a form of communication within the relationship, as is the conversing. If you don’t take the time to hear him or her out and be compassionate about their feelings and concerns, dildos in your sexual routine will most likely be a no-no.

Lubricant

If you don’t already use one, introduce lubricants into your sex play. The wet and wild sensations can evoke naughty thoughts and be an excellent way to persuade your partner into using a vibrator.

Shop Together

Get online or go to a sex toy store together. Encourage your partner to get to know the toys and see how they feel and work. Hands-on experiences are always the best way to persuade someone to do something.

Hopefully, this advice will work. If your partner remains adamant about not using a dildo, don’t get bummed. Respect his or her wishes, but let it be known that these are your desires as well. Revisiting the conversation later might yield new results.

Recommended Vibrators

5-Function Rocks Off Buddies Scud Waterproof Vibrating Bullet

5-Function Rocks Off Buddies Scud Waterproof Vibrating Bullet

Gorgeously presented in a non-phallic uniquely designed body, and ingeniously enhanced with thick, swirly ribs, the 5-Function Rocks Off Buddies Scud Waterproof Vibrating Bullet delivers pleasure in breathtaking shades that will blow your mind. The tip is gently rounded in a near-flat form, that helps you to deliver right on target massages to all your erogenous zones, while the textured surface provides thrills that cannot be described; this toy also offers you a firm touch that's slightly flexible for the perfect positioning. You can also remove the sleeve completely to enjoy direct stimulations with the firm, full-sized RO-120MM bullet, either way you still get to enjoy right-on-target massages. Control is easy with the built-in push-button at the base; explore 5 powerful vibration options by clicking the button to cycle through the different vibration speeds, the well-balanced vibrations travel evenly throughout the toy, providing you a well-rounded stimulation. Choose from 3 speeds of steady vibration, or simply alternate between the 2 modes of pulsing, teasing vibrations. Regardless of whichever combination of speed and patterns you choose, you will love the pleasurable thrill which you will experience; and it’s also very discreet even at top speed. The toys sleeve is produced using high-quality body-safe Intramed material that’s ultra-smooth, silky, odorless, and temperature-sensitive, it quickly adapts to your body heat, and can also be warmed or cooled for varied sensations. The sleeve is also nonporous and waterproof, so you can have fun in the bath if you choose, cleaning is fast with warm soapy water or a good toy cleaner, be sure to use with a silicone-based lubricant only. The Buddies Scud massager uses 2 AA batteries which are included in the pack; and measures 5.75 inches long with an insertable length of 4.5 inches, circumference is 5 inches while the diameter is 1.5 inches. The 5-Function Rocks Off Buddies Scud Waterproof Vibrating Bullet is your pal for life.

Specifications of the 5-Function Rocks Off Buddies Scud Waterproof Vibrating Bullet

Length : 5 Inch Bullet
Insertable : 1 to 5 inches
Diameter : 1.5 Inches
Width : 4 Inches
Colour : Black
Flexibility : Firm
Controller : Built In
For Who : Both
Features : 5 Function Bullet
Brand : Rocks Off Ltd
Power : 2 x AAA (Included)
Size : 5 Inch Bullet

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Sex Toy Guides

Your Guide to Using bunny vibrators
Your Guide to Using bunny vibrators

by Katie Peachesa November 22, 2020 4 min read

Read More
Your Shopping Guide to Water-based Sex Lubes
Your Shopping Guide to Water-based Sex Lubes

by Katie Peachesa October 18, 2020 4 min read

Read More
Best Warming Sex Lubricants To Have Hot Sex This Winter
Best Warming Sex Lubricants To Have Hot Sex This Winter

by Katie Peachesa October 17, 2020 4 min read

Read More