This week Jools Oliver (wife of the slobbery chef Jamie) admitted to regularly checking her husband's email, twitter account and mobile phone texts. This couple have been together for decades, so just why does she feel the need to keep a beady eye on him? Surely a relationship as long as this would be bulletproof? Although some people assume that it's because she doesn't trust him (therefor in the eyes of some the relationship is doomed) there are other explanations and this type of openness could actually be quite healthy for couples.
Countless advice columns will tell you that if you regularly check your partner's phone, email and Facebook then you're heading for a separation, however I beg to disagree. Many of these advice gurus grew up in a world where social networking consisted of an office Christmas party and phone sex was resigned to 0898 numbers that would show up on the BT phone bill. As communication mediums have altered so has our perception of cheating, as now anyone can seek out an affair as long as they have access to the internet. The affairs range from full on Facebook flirting (the cause of 30% of divorces) to cam 2 cam naked action before actually meeting in the flesh. In the olden days, an affair would take a great deal of effort, however now; sex is on a plate for anyone looking for extra marital fun.
This mean that even the most monogamous of couples come across temptation without even seeking it out. We're all constantly bombarded with spam that shows us naked hunks and bombshells with the click of a mouse, and we all have old flames on our Facebook accounts. It would be more obscure if the odd fleeting fantasy didn't pass yours or his minds as even when we're happily married we're all victims to the occasional ego boost.
Checking phones and emails isn't necessarily about the trust we know and love. We probably know that our partners wouldn't stray even if faced with Cheryl Cole on a plate. The relationship gurus argue that we're looking for trouble, however I beg to differ. I think we're just exacting a little self-preservation to protect ourselves, our own reputations and to make sure that if he does want an affair, he'll have to try harder to hide it.
I simply believe that if a partner has a problem with you knowing their passwords, login details or with you reading their texts they simply have something to hide. As a faithful wife my email is never logged out of, my Facebook is always an open tab and my phone is left in a myriad of places allowing anyone who wishes to scroll through the details. Although I don't expect him to check them every day I'm confident that if he did have a nosey he'd find nothing except maybe a few kisses on the end of an email. If I'm planning a surprise buying something online I will let him know that my emails should be left alone for a while.
Of course, some conversations I like to keep to myself, such as confiding in a girlfriend, but this ensures I keep my social life in the real world as if I fancy a moan, we simply meet for a glass of wine or I pick up the phone!
Comments will be approved before showing up.