Fluctuations in libido are very common in women, especially new mothers and this is an issue which many women feel that they must accept. For many modern and busy women who have to juggle family life, work, their marriage and the rest of their responsibilities, sex can be placed right at the bottom of the to-do list.
The main libido killer in men and women is plain old exhaustion which is notoriously difficult to remedy as our lives tend to be far too full for a solid 8 hours of sleep per night. We women know the routine all too well; we wake up early in order to be ready before the rest of the household rises, we get the kids ready, make breakfast and then leave the house for work or to rush around on a multitude for errands. In the evening we make dinner for the family, help with homework, put the children to bed and then do some housework before collapsing on the couch to receive a glass of wine and a foot rub from our equally exhausted partner. So when exactly are we meant to have sex?!
The physical reasons for a low libido (aside from utter exhaustion!) include anaemia, diabetes, hormonal imbalances and the side-effect of any prescription medicines we may be taking. If you're worried that you could be suffering from any of the above conditions it's always best to visit your GP so that you can get some piece of mind. Two huge libido killers are stress and depression, so do yourself a favour and put your mind at ease by getting a diagnosis. You're GP will be able to advise you of the best cause of action if you are found to be suffering from any of these, or any other conditions. Effective treatment may well see the return of your normal levels of sexual appetite.
New mums often experience a lowering or a complete removal of any sexual feelings soon after their baby is born. This is totally normal and is due to the potent cocktail of hormones currently coursing through your veins, sleep-deprivation, anxiety concerning your baby and the fact that your 'downstairs bits' may require time to heal. If you are a new mum and you're worried about your libido then mention it to your midwife or GP, but don't try to push yourself into sex until you feel ready.
How to regain and intensify your libido:
Once you've satisfied yourself that your lack of libido isn't anything to do with an existing or past health issue it's time to take some positive steps towards. First of all do not allow yourself to feel negative towards sex, or forced in anyway. Approach the subject in a relaxed and casual way and be a bit flirtatious and cheeky with it. Spend some quality time with your other half; go out for dinner, curl up on the sofa and watch a movie, or go for a walk in the park. Make time for each other even if it's just 20 minutes here and there. Be honest with your partner and tell them how you feel without accusing them of any shortcomings. Say that you've been feeling this way for a while; however make sure they know that you're committed to working through it together to get your sex life back on track.
If you do feel that you'd like to be intimate with your partner then initiate it and ask that you take it slow. My advice would be to stick to foreplay and oral sex for a while so that you can build the suspense. You don't want to dive in after a break and feel that the experience was rushed and ultimately disappointing. Take your time, be gentle but passionate and make a note of how you react. If you've just had a baby it may be that you cannot progress to full sex, and even if you can it's best to take things slow. When you eventually get there it will be all the sweeter!
Trying new positions has always been a great way of adding an element of experimentation and fun into the bedroom, so once you're back in the saddle (so the speak!), make a point of trying something new at least once a week to keep things new and fresh. The internet is full of advice concerning positions and tricks which can be fun and satisfying to try out!
Another fantastic way of adding excitement and a bit of kinkiness to your bedroom activities is to peruse a quality sex toy store together. Many couples don't feel confident enough to visit a physical shop together to check out the toys as it can be a little intimidating if you're not used to being around adult toys and fetish-style lingerie. The best way of shopping for sex toys it so click through a reputable online store such as Peaches and Screams which carries a massive choice in adult toys, lingerie, accessories and novelties.
Comments will be approved before showing up.