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by Katie Peachesa April 09, 2020 3 min read

Not Tonight Dear..... Why Women Lose Their Desire...

By Tatyana Dyachenko

There are several important reasons why I am qualified to write this article, first I am a woman, second I am a woman in a happy marriage, and finally women talk, and I have a wealth of insight from female friends.

Let’s get one thing straight - for us ladies, love and desire are two completely stand alone entities. My desire for bedroom activities has no direct correlation with how much I love my man. I do love my husband as much as I always have, but there are times when sex is simply of no interest to me. Much to his dismay and immense frustration I could not be less interested if I tried.

That is the point to remember here, a dip in libido for a woman is not always controlled or premeditated. Sure, if you upset us, annoy us or generally behave badly, we might choose to punish you by feigning lack of interest in your body. However, on this occasion we would be seeing ourselves right with a crafty toy session.

Sometimes, and it happens to most women, libido just packs up and leaves home. Believe me it isn't something we want to happen, nor something we can control, but I might be able to help you understand what happens. The copulation process for men is quite simple, it is visual and pretty instant. You see, you like, you lust. Nice. For women it is a little more complex. I can see, and I can like but that is as far as it goes. For the lust and the god I want him now feelings to kick in there has to be an element of mental connection. Not always - we are just as capable of animal lust and give it to me now sex as you are, but when the desire goes it is normally linked in to deep rooted feelings that are simply not within our control.

Life seems to affect the female desire more than it does a man. Bad day in the office, heavy time with an errant child, a general trapped in the treadmill of life feeling all lead to that ‘so cannot be bothered’ feeling in the bedroom. It is a viscous and painful circle for us. You try it on, we cant be bothered, you push a bit harder, we get cross, you refuse to take the hint, and congratulations we have war, There is now no way, no how, not ever that we are going to let you get your own way! Petty - maybe, Childish - almost certainly - but that is how the female brain works. In my experience a dry spell is soonest resolved by a nonchalant ignorance. You start sending out the couldn’t care less I don't want sex anyway signals and suddenly our cavewoman ‘that is MY man’ streak kicks into action and we are going to rip your clothes off here and now.

A woman's libido can be a fickle beast - it is not connection to our hearts, but it can punish you and us with a total refusal to comply in any way. Rest assured it is more to do with how we feel, than whether we want your bod or not. Try a little TLC, a bit of over the top care and attention - but most of all send out no sex please we are British signals. That ought to do the trick and see your woman jumping your bones in next to no time.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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