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by Katie Peachesa April 08, 2020 6 min read

Playing With Restraints

By Elena Ognivtseva

Suggesting a foray into a bit of sexy restraint and bondage with your partner can be a little stressful and often embarrassing, but don't let this put you off. Quite often one side of your partnership will not have the guts to bring up the idea, but may well have fancied giving it a go for a long while. So many have daydreams about their partners strutting into the bedroom firing out orders, cuffing them to the bed and ruining them in every way imaginable. It is how those wild dreams and fantasies translate into your very ordinary life and fairly sedate bedroom that concerns many.

So let’s get the pain points out there right now and ask the questions that flag up in our brains the moment we consider acting out our dominant or submissive tendencies. Time for a Q & A.

Question 1: What if I fumble, struggle to get the handcuffs on and kill the mood?

Answer: This is an easy one. Just practice the mechanics in bed while you are watching a film or enjoying a drink and having a no strings conversation. Take all the stress out of it and just open and close those handcuffs, or tie and untie those restraints until you are comfortable with how they work. Look at where you will fix them too and where you will place the key. It is like doing a rehearsal to get all of those insecurities and doubts out of the way first.

Question 2: What if I accidently hurt her/him or they don’t like the way I talk to them and touch them?

Answer: Again, you will be doing this with a partner who you already know quite well so talk through what you think you will enjoy and what you are not sure about. It is awkward telling your partner that you are happy being called a slut or a whore and that being tortured really turns you on but you will have had conversations along those lines hopefully that have led to this point. If you cannot just say it out loud then your romantic exploits are certainly going to be strained. Try and make conversations freer and as natural as possible so that they become a routine part of your day. That way you will have discussed what you like and there wont be any issues.

Accidents can happen but if you start gently and build up then hurting your partner should not be an issue either. Keep communicating throughout the experience and have that all important safe word in place if you are experimenting with more uncomfortable positions.

Question 3: What if I want more and am worried about my partner’s response?

Agree from the outset that you will be honest with each other and if one isn’t into it as much as the other that you will compromise and try different things. It is not for everyone so honesty here is essential. Watching porn first and getting a gauge for what you both like watching and want to explore will put you on the same wavelength and marry those expectations up from the beginning.

There's an impression which many beginners get from restraint play that it's brutal and even cruel to tie someone up and have them at your mercy, but it really doesn't have to be this way. More often than not couples who engage in restraint play are very caring and tender towards their partner, and do not wish to cause any actual physical harm or lasting mental damage. If you come across someone who does want to cause you harm during sex then run as fast as you can in the opposite direction! However, if you choose a safe word, you trust your partner completely, and you plan your restraint play properly you are guaranteed to have a very positive experience and come back to bondage again and again! There is nothing stopping the person being tied up from calling all the shots. There is nothing more empowering than commanding someone to do everything you ask exactly how you like it while being tied up. Decide what is best for you and your partner.

If you think that dabbling into the world of restraint play is for you then take a look at the following products from the Peaches and Screams website which will get you off to a flying start.

Velcro Bondage Set - 10 Pieces: This 10 piece kit is ideal for those who are new to using restraints as it is soft and will not leave any marks on the skin. The set comprises a foam eye mask, four ankle/wrist restraints and a spread strap, all of which work to inhibit movement effectively. The foam mask is an excellent idea as it increases your sense of touch when the sense of sight is removed.

Soft Neck to Wrist Cuffs: This is another fabulous product for newcomers as the super soft material will mean that you can be dominated without the added sensation of pain. The collar can be fastened around the neck and the hands held firmly behind the back with wrist straps. This product is adjustable to fit men and women.

Bad Kitty Hog Tie Set: This hog tie set is designed to be worn behind the back and to keep the wrists and ankles firmly held in place. Being in this position will leave you feeling very vulnerable so should be kept for when you are both a little more experienced in using restraints. This set is adjustable and can be used on both men and women.

Bad Kitty Bed Shackles: This set comes complete with four foam padded Velcro wrist and ankle cuffs and long cords which are placed beneath the mattress and keep the cuffs in place. It's a great way of strapping your partner down so that you can do whatever you want with them!

Rimba Arm to Ankle Cuffs Combo with Chain: This set combines metal chains with leather arm and ankle cuffs. It ties to the front restricting movement while allowing the hands to be used or to the back which can bring the wearer to their knees, restricting movement and conveniently leaving their mouth free.

Recommended Bondage Restraints

Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Restraint for Bondage

Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Restraint for Bondage

Do you want to spice things up in the bedroom? You know you have to, don’t you? It’s important to be spontaneous, especially if you’re in a relationship. There are plenty of things you could do, but only so many will actually work. If you consider yourself a daring, rebellious person, then you may want to get into a little BDSM. But where do you start? These door cuffs are guaranteed to heat things up and reignite that spark that you two had when you first met. Think about the past for a second, in the beginning sex between the two of you was passionate and vicious. You need to get back to that if you want to continue this relationship. It’s a very simple set up with enormous benefits. You simply strap your beautiful lady into the cuffs and let her hang there. Once she’s locked in she is all yours. She isn’t going anywhere; all she can do is take every last inch of you. You can have her face the door while you hit her from all angles from the back or you can flip her around and have her wrap her perfect and smooth legs around your waist as you thrust her harder and harder every single time. You can really give her what she deserves with this thing; she has no other option but to stay put. She can cry out and scream for mercy all she wants, but we all know that you aren’t done until you’re done. This truly is a prize for the both of you. She gets to strap herself in and finally let go and give you complete control, while you have the opportunity to do whatever the hell you want to her. It’s a great thing for you two and is guaranteed to spice things up and keep things spontaneous. Get one of your own right now and try it out as soon as the package reaches your front porch. Just don’t break your door while you’re giving your lady the time of her life. Shop for Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Cuff Restraint for Bondage Play now!

Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Restraint for Bondage

Specifications of Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Cuff Restraint for Bondage Play

Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Black Door Wrist Restraint for Bondage

Length : 22 Inches
Washing : Wipe down
Colour : Black
For Who : Both
Features : Suspension Cuffs
Brand : PipeDream
Size : 22 Inches

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.

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