Problem: Should I Sleep With My Ex-Boyfriend?

Problem: Should I Sleep With My Ex-Boyfriend?

By Ksenia Sobchak

Probably no. Almost definitely no. It would be a much better world in many ways if the answer to this question was yes. But it’s not. It’s no. It can be tempting to go back to an ex for comfort when single and when looking for familiar sex but it is so often a mistake for so many reasons. Getting into a messy entanglement can happen so much more quickly than you might expect, and bad habits that you thought were in the past can come back to bite you. It’s probably best left in the past.

Firstly, consider why you ended the relationship. Don’t invite anything negative back into your life that you may have worked hard to rid yourself of, just for the sake of a quick shag. And if the relationship ended well and you are good friends, why risk that?

Secondly, is it really about sex or are there underlying feelings on one or both sides of the equation? If he is in love with you and you are using him for sex, err, this is not good. Or vice versa. There’s plenty of men in the world and if it’s really about a booty call, why not just go for someone else?

If you actually want a relationship with your ex again, then you need to be honest about this and not just dress it up as sex and fun and hope that he will happen to fall back in love with you due to your irresistible charms. If the communication is not good and you don’t feel that you can address the issues directly, why do you want the relationship?

If you are single want some no strings sex, then find someone who is great but whom you are not going to fall in love with. This can be tricky because if you’re anything like me, developing feelings for inappropriate people is a hobby.

If your ex-boyfriend is from a long time in your past, is not destructive or problematic in terms of lifestyle, is single (as are you) and it might be good for a bit of nostalgia, then maaaaybeeee... but keep your wits about you and an eye on your feelings. What is it that you’re truly looking for? To recapture lost youth or hope?

At the end of the day, people are looking for love. So even if you are in a no-strings phase, remember, it’s about connection and growth.