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by Katie Peachesa April 09, 2020 3 min read

Relationship Advice Not To Follow

By Tatyana Dyachenko

Relationship advice can be invaluable. As someone dating a lovely lady who's nonetheless ever so slightly unhinged, I should know. That being said, there's plenty of dreadful dating advice floating about out there. As a wise man once said 'trying to live through the words of others is like wearing shoes that don't fit. You're going to get blisters." Fortunately, separating the wheat from the chaff is fairly easy. Here are a few pieces of relationship advice that you should definitely not follow.

Waiting for him to make all the moves: Starting off with one for the ladies, this is one dating recommendation that you should definitely ignore. It's bizarre that women still labour under the misconception that assertive females turn men off. Plenty of guys love a woman who can take charge and express what she wants and many more are simply shy, so a girl who takes the plunge and suggests a date can be a huge relief. Even if you're the type who likes to be wooed a little, don't subject yourself to endless waiting by the phone. A decent guy will be flattered, not offended by your suggesting a meet up.

Trying to manifest your significant other: This slice of dating esotericism tends to be thrown around a fair bit and is on a par with that old trope 'when true love happens, you'll just know it." As if one could will the lover of one's dreams into existence. This might seem like a bit of harmless romantic thinking, but it's actually a dreadful copout. Subscribing to this line of thought has one endlessly hoping and praying that Mr. Right or Miss Perfect will drop out of the sky instead of actually going out and looking for them. It's a sad truth but love rarely comes when called.

Waiting 90 days before having sex: This is another dating maxim that should have you hankering for a reality sandwich. Plenty of women are under the impression that sex is the greatest power they have to wield and that endlessly withholding it guarantees control over a relationship. This kind of attitude is antiquated at best, and slut-shaming at worst. It's the 21st century people! A girl is allowed to get frisky on the first date if she feels like it! What's more this kind of attitude carries the tacit accusation that all men want is sex. Aside from this being an unfair stereotype, plenty of men are more likely to be put off if they suspect they're being led around by a cocktease than declare their undying love.

Dating in bulk guarantees you'll find someone right: This is a difficult one. I can't deny that it works for some, but this piece of dating advice has become so ubiquitous by now that it deserves to get taken down a few notches. While many people are perfectly happy to play the field, they're the exception here. Most of us can't honestly say that we're giving someone our best unless they're the only person we're romantically involved with. Hedging may ensure that there's always a backup squeeze available when another turns sour, but it also cheapens the whole romantic experience. These are hearts we're talking about here.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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