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July 27, 2022 5 min read

ROLE CALL: WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF DOMINANTS & SUBMISSIVES?

Whether you are into bondage, punishments, spanking, or any other form of BDSM, the dominant and submissive relationship is always the main dynamic part that forms the base of the action. Find out more about dominant and submissive roles in this article.

Dominant and submissive relationships are a common form o play in BDSM play. A Dom-sub (dominant and submissive) relationship is a common way people use to explore the BDSM kink. These two terms (dominant and submissive) describe two roles that two partners may choose to play when having sex or in a relationship. The best way to explain a Dom-sub relationship is; a consensual erotic exchange of power between two partners. The DS represents dominant and submissive roles in the acronym BDSM which stands for bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism. The power distribution between the submissive and dominant partner is characterized by the capital D and S.

BDSM can be a bit complicated, but the terms represent two roles that partners play. The partner who acts on the other or does things on behalf of the other results in power change. In this context, the dominant partner acts or does a thing to the submissive partner. Both partners reach these decisions after a discussion on the power exchange. These partners discuss boundaries that shouldn't be crossed for the session to go on unchecked. The power exchange between dominant and submissive partners relates to equality between the two partners. It is not a permanent agreement; any partner can play whatever roles they want after discussion.

The dominant and submissive relationship is more than sex. Sometimes it may not involve sex. Nunes & Pereira (2022) noted that other activities that Dom and Sub partners can engage in include exhibition, bondage, discipline, sadism, spanking, and eroticizing intense sensation. Partners are not bound to any of the mentioned aspects, and they are free to do anything if it involves power exchange and they love it.

The Role of The Dominant Partners

Goerlich (2022) noted that in a D/s relationship, the dynamic role of the dominant partner is to ensure they hold absolute power and exercise control over the submissive partner. The power between the dominant and the submissive partner depends on how they are discussed and established boundaries. The dominant partner enjoys the role of being direct and assertive. You are the one to decide how the play turns out and hp wot will end. The D/s relationship is simply the power exchange dynamic between the dominant and submissive partner. Some of the roles of the dominant partner are to guide, decide, protect, enforce, and decide on the course of the play. The main thing the dominant partner should do is to hold a space of trust between them and the submissive partner. Ensure you control your responsibility not to go out of the discussed zones. The dominant partner can be called "domme" if the female partner plays the role.

The Role of The Submissive Partner

According to Paarnio et al. (2022), a submissive partner must consequently agree with the dominant partner to surrender or submit. Whatever the dominant partner does to you, you are not supposed to defy or talk against it if it doesn't go against your discussed boundaries. You must follow the dominant partner's direction, guidance, and leadership without complaining. Herbenick et al. (2022) noted that most submissive partners feel empowered and enjoy the surrender by giving up control to the submissive partner.

Surrendering your body to the dominant partner requires trust because being vulnerable and at the mercy of your dominant partner is no joke. Trust and setting agreement or boundaries with the dominant partner will allow the play to go on unchecked. If you want to talk about something, you must always use safe words, limit discoed earlier, consent and boundaries. These aspects are crucial in a D/S relationship.

While the dominant partner has absolute power and control over the submissive partner, the submissive partner has the right to change the scene, end the scene at any time, or use safe words established to opt-out. The power control is only on the dominant partner's side until the scene ends or the submissive partner taps out.

Types Of Dom/Sub Relationships

Like any other relationship, the dominant and submissive relationships come in several configurations. The relationships can be long-term, romantic, exclusive, one-time, friends with benefits, poly long-term, or kinky.

In these relationships, the dominant partners are referred to as tops while the submissive are bottoms. However, some partners like to play both the top/Dom to bottom/sub roles; such a relationship is called a switch since the roles don't have a permanent partner to display. The following are some of the ways partners engage in dominant and submissive relationships:

D/S Lovers

In such as relationship, there are no chains or whips or any other toy to inflict pain built it they may have vibrators in their toy collection. Both partners engage in normal relationships, but one partner runs all the activities while the other receives. The submissive in this part enjoy being told what to do while serving their dominant partner; that makes it charming.

Master and Servant

The master and servant partners don't focus on sexual activities alone. Other activities that they have agreed upon suffice. For instance, the submissive partner might take care of their Dom's boots and leathers. It may seem like the sub is getting their partner ready for out in a different context.

Bondage, D/s Style

In bondage sex, a partner can be a stranger to each other. However, trust still needs to be between them so the session can be pleasurable. Partners can create an attractive suspension or harness to great bondage scenes.

The Bottom Line

In a D/s relationship, the dynamic role of the dominant partner is to ensure they hold absolute power and exercise control over the submissive partner. The power between the dominant and the submissive partner depends on how they are discussed and established boundaries. If you play the role of the submissive partner, you must agree with your dominant partner, surrender or submit. Whatever the dominant partner does to you, you are not supposed to defy or talk against it if it doesn't go against your discussed boundaries.

References

Goerlich, S. (2022). Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy From The Leather Chair. Taylor & Francis.

Herbenick, D., Guerra-Reyes, L., Patterson, C., Rosenstock Gonzalez, Y. R., Wagner, C., & Zounlome, N. (2022). "It Was Scary, But Then It Was Kind Of Exciting": Young Women's Experiences With Choking During Sex. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 51(2), 1103-1123.

Nunes, A. C. D. N., & Pereira, R. D. (2022). BDSM: BODIES AND POWER GAMES. Revista De Administração De Empresas, 62.

Paarnio, M., Sandman, N., Källström, M., Johansson, A., & Jern, P. (2022). The Prevalence Of BDSM In Finland And The Association Between BDSM Interest And Personality Traits. The Journal Of Sex Research, 1-9.

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