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by Katie Peachesa April 22, 2020 6 min read

sex toys for women = insecurity for men

By Ksenia Sobchak

This one is for the men and I got a feeling you aren’t going to like it very much…but hear me out and listen, holy shit just listen and you’ll thank me later.

Judging by the emails I’ve gotten apparently some/ a lot of you men out there don’t approve of your women having sex toys. I didn’t know this so I started asking around, the answers I’ve gotten well….. Yeah I don’t get it.

So there are really two issues here, number one women getting themselves off with toys when he’s not around and number two including the toys in love-making.

I think they are really one and the same problem….insecurity and intimidation and both are unwarranted.

Some of the “complaints” from the men have been getting……

A toy bigger than my penis will satisfy her and the result will be her wanting a bigger cock.

So the issue here is size, my answer will probably be disagreed with but you’re here reading my blog for a reason so…. :)

SIZE DOES NOT MATTER!!!

That’s right, even for you ladies that say bigger is better, you’re wrong too.

Oh but I feel fuller…..he reaches places nobody ever has……he stretches me and OMG it feels so good.

How about this? There are two ways for a woman to orgasm, one through clitoral stimulation and the other through G-spot…..oh yea? What about women that can come with nipple stimulation huh? What about women that can come during anal or just by squeezing their muscles when aroused? Huh? Huh, huh Mr sexpert? I can see it now, this will be my longest blog post ever with questions like that :) ok…short answer, nerves….nerves running from the nipple to the clit……..vibrations, during anal vibrations run through the walls and stimulate the G-spot and the clit….yes the answer should be more detailed but just trust me and let’s get back on track.

Back to size, the G-spot is located on the upper wall of the vagina about 2”-3” in towards the stomach…it’s an area not a spot or button.

So…..are you three inches in length? If you so you can reach it, you can work it, stimulate it and make her come so hard she calls you Big Daddy….. So why are you intimidated by size again? It’s not how deep you fish; it’s how you wiggle the worm that produces results.

G-spot up top so cock angled up right? Riiiight!!

As far as you ladies that say bigger is better….have you ever had a man who knew what he was doing? No…I mean really knew, knew how your body would respond better than you do, knew how to play you like a fine tuned instrument? If you haven’t then you’re going to assume that bigger is better and being “full” is where it’s at….coming so hard you can’t walk or talk is where it’s at ladies.

Men…learn how to do this! Become a Master in the bedroom!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve personally been asked “how big are you?” really? Would you be offended (ladies) if a guy asked how tight you were?

Ut oh!! I just stepped in it didn’t I? Well since I’m here let’s kick it around a little shall we?

Society has decided that if you aren’t hung like a horse and as thick as a tree trunk then us men are inadequate, Men are so focused on the size of their dick (women are too) that the art of making love isn’t important anymore. What you should be asking is do you know how to please me? Can you find my G-spot? Do you know what to do with it once you do find it? What about my clit? Do you know what to do with it? Hard or soft, fast or slow?

Ladies you know I love ya, most of my blog posts are focused on making it better for you but you’re asking the wrong questions and causing the men to focus on the wrong answers. Penis enlargement pill sales are at an all time high and they don’t even work and I bet if I wrote a book on how to really please a woman I couldn’t give it away.

Continue to ask the wrong questions and focus on the wrong things and the results will always be mediocre, some of you don’t even know what you’re missing out on.

Complaint number two

If I use toys during love-making and she really likes it she won’t “just” want me anymore.
Well. That may be true but….that comes back to you knowing how to really please her. If you don’t, then learn, if you do, then you already know its bull shit, let me explain.

The toys can be a great way to give you (the man) a break, let’s face it, it can be hard work pleasing a woman, no I’m not saying women are hard to please but there are several things we the men have to be keen to.

We have to watch, listen and feel…and interpret correctly what we see, hear and feel.

We have to make sure she’s ready, has she come yet? (always make her come before intercourse) have we switched back and forth between clit and G-spot enough to have them both swollen, full of blood and ready for stimulation.

Is the angle right? She’s moving, bucking her hips or even barely raising them and when she does the angle changes so we have to change with her, every stroke must go upwards to keep the pressure on the G-spot.

Is the speed right? Is she close? Do we speed up? Slow down? Where is she? Are her nipples hard? (Different blog post) is her body tense, how hard is she breathing.

Yes ladies bet you didn’t know us men have a mental checklist we have to go down in order to make the pearly gates open and the angels start singing.

So toys…. Yes toys can give you the night off and still let you be the man, get it wet, slip it in, grab a vibrator and make her come.

Most importantly and the main reason us men shouldn’t be concerned with the toys….toys cant mow the yard lol, just kidding. That vibrator can’t look her in the eyes and make her know that it feels what she feels, it can’t hold her, it can’t talk to her and tell her how good she feels or how tight she is or how freak’n much it loves making love to her, how happy it is or how bad it’s been wanting her all day. there’s no emotional connection with the vibrator.

Women need that just as bad as we need to be wanted, just as bad as we need to feel like nobody can please her like we can, she needs that too and the biggest 132 speed vibrating 360 degree rotating head with afterburners and heat sensors can’t give that to her, it can’t cuddle afterwards, it can’t lay down beside her out of breath and her know that as good as it was for her she just rocked your world too.

Stop being intimidated, stop being insecure and go get some toys, surprise her with them, hide them under the bed, tie her up and break those bad boys out and make the bed tremble with excitement, make the walls need a cigarette after you’re done and guess what she’ll tell her friends? My man knows how to take care of me girl! Not about how good that vibrator is, not how big it is, not how much she loves it….but how much she loves you for caring enough about how she feels to not only learn how to please her without the toys but for buying the toys and using them to please her too.

I’ll wrap it up with this comparison.

Do You like to jack off? Does it feel good laying there with your eyes closed, Johnson and Johnson spread evenly over your cock, your hand gripping it and Pamela Anderson is on her knees in front of you? It does doesn’t it?

Would you rather have that? or a warm hot body telling you how much she loves you? How bad she’s wanted you all day? How wet she is and how bad she’s aching for your hard cock to be inside her?

It’s the same for her if you know what you’re doing; sex is as much about emotional connection as it is physical contact…toys can’t give that bro….only you can!

Here is a good place to start if you want more information and tips that will help you become a master in the bedroom

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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