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April 13, 2020 2 min read

Supernatural Sex

By Ekaterina Mironova

Whatever you might think of Ke$ha’s music, she’s certainly inventive... inventive enough to claim that she drew inspiration for her single “Supernatural” from a raunchy encounter with a spirit! Considering she wears a bra made of her fans’ teeth and a necklace with her mother’s placenta as its centrepiece, it’s hardly surprising that she told Ryan Seacrest that she’d had a couple of experiences with the supernatural and was “very open to it”. But is she the only celeb to have had sexual encounters of the third kind?

The late Anna Nicole Smith also claims to have got it on with a spook, telling FHM that “A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas”. Far from being horrified, Anna allowed her ghostly lover to do his thing and was rewarded with “some amazing sex”. She’s not the only one to have experienced spectral orgasms.

Paz de la Huerta of Boardwalk Empire claims that, during a visit to Graceland with her ex-boyfriend Scott Weiland, she was lucky enough to get pleasured by the King himself: Elvis. While touring his recording studio she apparently felt him touch her. “I felt his spirit go through me and give me pleasure... it was like Elvis was tickling me with a feather.” Fair enough. I suppose if any geist were to get in my pants, it would have to be Elvis.

It doesn’t stop at ghosts though. Jazz singer Pamela Stonebrook didn’t just see an alien, she bonked it silly. Telling The Sun UK that she awoke from sleep to find herself making love to “what appeared to be a Greek god”, her supernatural experience soon took a decidedly kinky turn. Apollo became swampthing as her alien lover transformed into “a reptilian entity with scaly, snake-like skin”. Apparently “the orgasms were intense”. It’s hardly surprising that her human partners have reportedly found the story difficult to swallow.

A little closer to Earth, but no less weird for it, Halligerdur Hallgrimsdottir, an Icelandid “elf sex expert” tells us that it’s actually quite common for Icelandic people to get their freak on with godly elfin folk who wander the night. Tall and beautiful and emitting a shimmering light from their skin, these supernatural entities are apparently as adept at reading one’s mind as they are at oral sex. Sounds like a Twilight fantasy to me.

Ending on an especially lurid note, Judith Frankle, a scientist exploring mountains of the Pacific Northwest in the ‘70s co-wrote a book entitled Nights with Sasquatch: An Explosive Ordeal of Rape And Revenge Beyond Any Woman's Experience. Ostensibly about a dramatic battle between woman and beast and the clash between civilization and primitive lusts, it eventually boils down to the size of Bigfoot’s schlong.