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by Katie Peachesa April 11, 2020 3 min read

The Fantasy of Rape - Safe Play or Stay Away?

By Ksenia Sobchak

This can be known as a taboo subject and of course in no way trivialises those that have actually endured the pain of rape, yet it's a well-known fact between those that do share sexual secrets that rape is definitely up there in the top 3 of favourite fantasies.

Of course, it's not classified with rape if you're entering into consensual sex with someone you trust, but just like acting out any sexual fantasy it's the act that turns some on.

Men love the idea of a woman being totally powerless. In fact a lot of bondage derives from this, as they enjoy having a woman completely at their mercy. The more we explore the reasons behind the fantasy the more we realise that this and reality could not be further apart.

As in bondage men adore the helplessness and the control, they also love giving pleasure too. Having their lover at the mercy of their fingers and tongues leaves them feeling completely satisfied when they bring their captive to orgasm.

Some couples take it a little further, adding a chase, or a bit of rough. Consenting first they'll actually fight until breathless with exertion before taking the victim.

For women the fantasy of rape is not so much about control but power. Many women love the thought that a man finds them so sexy that they simply can't help themselves and must have them NOW. Women often fantasise about being raped by more than one man, through oral, anal and vaginal sex, however the fantasies rarely involve pain.

From the women I've spoken to, the fantasies are more about knowing that a group of men are becoming increasingly aroused by their mere presence. This alone is enough to bring a woman to orgasm as they bask in their own sexuality.

Of course, with bondage the battle of the sex's blurs, as it's quite impossible for a woman to rape a man, as any man would become flaccid with the knowledge that his precious parcel was in danger. Yet in bondage, women will easily take on the dominatrix role, giving the pleasure that allows the stiffness they crave before helping themselves to the prize.

So, is it safe to role play rape? Or is there something wrong with us for imagining this fantasy? The simple answer is it's perfectly safe, thoroughly enjoyable and shouldn't be thought about too deeply. Maybe on a first date or during a one night stand it would be a little foolish to agree to this role play but when forming part of a trusting relationship it will only serve to deepen the sexual bond between you.

As in reality this fantasy is not really rape at all. Not in the pure definition of the word. It's simply men becoming aroused with their woman's body at their disposal, whilst women enjoy the knowledge that their own sexuality makes a man wild with desire.

A little tip:

If you do decide between you to make it more authentic, choose a safe word first. Surprisingly, even those affected by the reality of rape still find the fantasy a turn on, however, certain acts could trigger flashbacks or make either party feel uncomfortable, so it's best to have a get out free card rather than mulling over it later and feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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