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by Katie Peachesa April 15, 2020 5 min read

What Are Strap On Dildo Sex Toys and How To Use Them

By Elena Ognivtseva

A lot of lesbians and people in general traditionally thought that using a strap-on during sex alluded to penis activity – that really all lesbians really wanted was to sleep with a man and have penetrative sex all the time.

In today’s modern world times have thankfully changed and it’s almost the one essential sex toy for every lesbian couple to own one as standard. They may seem odd at first, but once you get used to them they can be great for using every so often as a treat or a little more often as a major part of your lovemaking sessions with your partner.

So what exactly is a strap on dildo? A strap-on is exactly what the name implies. All you need to make a strap-on is use a dildo and hold it to you with a harness, which is usually leather in material.

It’s important to get the right harness – you may be different sized to your partner, so purchasing a leather adjustable one is great for beginners just starting out. You can really adjust things so it fits you both perfectly. It may take a bit of practice, but you’ll get there in no time at all and focus 100% of your time getting down to business and satisfying yourself and your partner. When choosing a strap-on, some are quite expensive and some can be cheap, so it is important to read the product descriptions and reviews and to choose wisely. If you choose the correct strap-on and harness that suits your needs, this can be one sex toy that can last you many years to come which in the long run is a great saving in it’s self.

Once you have purchased your harness you need to make sure you have the correct dildo. Why is this important? You will probably already own a dildo and it may be your favourite sex to so far, but be sure to make sure the one you have suits both of you rather than trying a ‘one size fits all’ approach and more importantly it fits your new harness. You may need completely different sizes and if you don’t take this into consideration, it could be very painful for one of you and very disappointing if it doesn’t fit and feel just right.

Once you have all the right equipment associated with your new strap on dildo, it’s time to start getting the technique right. At first thought, it may seem like a simple process. Just put the harness on and thrust away! But you will quickly learn that this isn’t the case. It may seem hard to get around the fact that you can’t actually feel anything if you are the one wearing the harness. You need to have good communication with your partner. She needs to talk to you at all times about how it feels and what she wants you to do. How far to thrust inside her, and how quickly to go.

A good starting position would be with her on top. Let her lower herself gently onto the dildo – use some lube if needed – and then let her move as she likes on top. Once she gets a rhythm going, you can start to join in by gently thrusting your hips into her. This is great because it allows you to see exactly how far the dildo goes inside her, and how much she likes it.

Hold onto her hips for stability and be sure not to push too hard or too fast at first, but do take her lead as and when is necessary. Once she becomes confident using it, you can then move into other positions such as the missionary and doggy style.

It’s important to remember that everyone has different needs and desires when it comes to penetrative sex especially when using adult sex toys, so take your time and teach each other what you both enjoy? This will enhance your experiance greatly when using a strap on, vibrator or any other sex toy that you own.

You may find that you both enjoy it so much that you’ll be using it more often than not – and don’t worry, it doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian if you enjoy penetrative sex with a strap-on. It just means it leaves your hands free to enjoy the rest of her body without worrying about not pleasuring her.

Remember that it is a fun experience, and it won’t go perfectly the first time you try, but the fun is definitely there in the trying! After all, practice does make perfect!

Safety Tips When Using A Strap On Dildo

If you’ve been contemplating entering the erotic world of strap on dildos, the thought may have crossed your mind about the safety issues when using these types of sex toys? When you use a strapon dildo you can’t actually feel the artificial penis that is strapped to your pelvis area in the harness so you might be concerned about accidentally hurting your partner if you thrust to far. The good news is, yes, by following a few simple guide lines and precautions, strap on sex toys are safe and tons of fun to use with your partner. Sex Toys 360 believes in a “Sex Positive” lifestyle and encourages and promotes that consenting adults and couples try new sex toys and new positions to enhance their sex lives, knowledge and experiance in the bedroom.

If you’re a woman trying a penis on for size for the first time, make sure you give yourself plenty of time and practise to get used to the feeling of your strap-on before putting it to action with your partner. Try it on at home in the privacy of your bedroom or somewhere discreet. Walk around, become accustomed to the weight and feel of the strap-on that is attached. Touch your new dildo or vibrator, and adjust the straps as needed for a good snug fit to ensure you have as much control as possible and it is not moving around loosely because really, is there anything more empowering than walking around your house completely nude except for a pair of sexy stilettos and a strap-on? That’s what we thought too!

The most important thing you can do to ensure your strap on is used safely is to communicate directly with your partner. Always make sure that what you’re doing feels good, and be prepared to stop at a second’s notice, especially if you’re attempting anal penetration with your partner. Make sure to use plenty of water-based lube or anal lube and if you’re not in a committed, monogamous relationship, use a condom each and every time you have sex, with or without a toy. As always safety should be your top priority when performing any sexual act.

After you’ve put your erotic strap on through its paces, cleanse it, like you would any sex toy, thoroughly for extra safety. Use either a sex toy cleaner or wash everything with antibacterial soap and warm water. Store your strap on sex toy in a cloth bag or “toy box” and remember that if your strap on attachment is made of silicone it cannot be stored touching other silicone toys or the materials will “melt” rendering them unusable.

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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