How to Give a Hickey: Techniques, Downsides, and Cover-Up Tips

Content Verification

Written by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Ever wondered what it takes to leave the perfect mark of affection—a cheeky little reminder of a passionate moment? That’s right, we’re talking about hickeys, or as they’re fondly called across the UK, love bites. Whether you’re looking to spice things up or simply curious about the art of giving one, you’re not alone. Hickeys have been the subject of fascination (and a little embarrassment) for years.

But here’s the thing: giving a hickey isn’t just about sucking on someone’s neck—it’s about finesse, technique, and knowing when to stop. Done right, it’s a playful sign of intimacy; done wrong, it could leave you with a bruise that screams, “I’ve got no idea what I’m doing.”

So, what’s the secret to creating a love bite that’s perfectly imperfect? In this guide on how to give a hickey, you’ll learn step-by-step techniques, understand the potential downsides, and pick up clever cover-up tips to keep things discreet. Ready to master the art of the hickey? Let’s begin!

Understanding Hickeys

Hickeys might seem like a simple mark of affection, but they carry layers of intrigue, myths, and even some misunderstandings. To truly master the art of giving a hickey, it’s essential to first understand what they are, debunk the myths surrounding them, and know the importance of consent. Let’s dive in.

What is a Hickey?

A hickey, or love bite, is like a secret code written on the skin—a visible reminder of a steamy, intimate moment. But what exactly causes this distinctive mark? It all boils down to science. When you apply suction to someone’s skin, the tiny blood vessels beneath (known as capillaries) burst, leaving behind a bruise that can range from rosy red to deep purple.

"Hickeys are essentially minor bruises," explains Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor. "They’re often seen as playful tokens of affection, but it’s important to understand their physiological nature—they’re usually harmless but can occasionally cause mild discomfort."

While they may look dramatic, hickeys are typically harmless. Some people’s skin is more sensitive than others, meaning the intensity or duration of the mark can vary. The takeaway? Know your partner’s preferences and go easy to keep things fun and carefree.

Common Myths and Facts

When it comes to hickeys, there’s no shortage of myths floating around. Let’s tackle a few of the most common ones and set the record straight.

One persistent myth is that hickeys are dangerous and could lead to severe health problems like strokes or blood clots. The reality? These cases are extremely rare. "In most scenarios, hickeys are harmless, though a very small risk of complications exists for certain individuals," says Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor. "It’s more about ensuring your partner is comfortable with the experience."

Another myth? That hickeys have to be big and bold to matter. Not true. Hickeys can be as subtle or dramatic as you like—it’s all about personal taste and the situation. And let’s not forget the stereotype that hickeys are just for teenagers. Adults can enjoy them just as much, whether as a cheeky token of affection or part of playful intimacy.

Finally, contrary to popular belief, hickeys aren’t always intentional. They can happen accidentally during an intense moment—though it’s always better when everyone’s on the same page.

Importance of Consent

Hickeys might seem playful and spontaneous, but without consent, they’re anything but. Before leaning in, have an open conversation. Is your partner okay with it? Would they prefer a subtle mark or none at all? Taking a moment to check in can make all the difference.

"A hickey might seem trivial, but it’s an intimate act that requires mutual understanding," says Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist. "Consent is vital, as it fosters trust and respect, ensuring both partners enjoy the experience."

Beyond consent, timing and context are equally crucial. A visible mark might be thrilling for some but embarrassing for others, especially before a work meeting or family gathering. Respecting boundaries and discussing preferences shows care and consideration—qualities that elevate the entire experience.

Remember, a hickey isn’t about leaving your mark in the literal sense. It’s about sharing a playful moment that both you and your partner can enjoy. Respect and understanding? Now that’s sexy.

Techniques for Giving a Hickey

Now that you understand the basics of hickeys, it’s time to dive into the fun part—the techniques! Giving a hickey isn’t about brute force; it’s about finesse, communication, and just the right touch. Follow these tips to master the art of leaving a mark that’s both playful and passionate.

Focus on the Neck

If the neck had a CV, "most hickey-friendly zone" would definitely be on it. Why? The neck is a hotspot of sensitivity, with its thin skin and abundant nerve endings. It’s also highly visible, making it a bold choice for anyone who doesn’t mind showing off their affection.

But not all parts of the neck are created equal. Aim for the side or the area just above the collarbone—these spots are less likely to cause discomfort and easier to hide with a scarf or high collar, if needed. Remember, where you focus matters just as much as how you do it.

Suck Gently

Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to giving a hickey. Start with gentle suction to warm up the area and avoid any sudden discomfort. Think of it as easing into the moment rather than diving headfirst.

Keep the suction light by pursing your lips and softly pulling the skin into your mouth. This helps break a few blood vessels without causing a full-on bruise right away. If your partner starts laughing or giggling, you’re on the right track—they’re relaxed and enjoying it.

Suck Harder

Once you’ve set the stage with gentle suction, it’s time to up the ante. Gradually increase the pressure by sucking harder for a few seconds—usually 10 to 20 seconds is enough to leave a noticeable mark. Make sure you’re still listening to your partner’s cues; if they wince, ease up immediately.

But don’t overdo it. Excessive force can turn what’s meant to be playful into something painful. Remember, a hickey is supposed to be a sign of affection, not a battle scar.

Use Your Teeth a Bit

Want to add a little extra flair to your hickey? Lightly graze the skin with your teeth as you suck. This can add a touch of texture and deepen the mark, making it more pronounced.

But here’s the golden rule: no biting. Your teeth should barely brush against the skin, not sink into it. If in doubt, think kitten nibble, not vampire attack. This keeps things playful without crossing into uncomfortable territory.

Avoid Anywhere That Might Be Uncomfortable

While the neck is a popular spot, not all areas are fair game. Avoid pressing too hard on bony parts like the Adam’s apple or anywhere close to the throat—it’s not just uncomfortable but could also be unsafe. If your partner has sensitive skin or specific areas they’d rather you steer clear of, respect their preferences.

Not feeling the neck? Try the shoulder or upper chest instead. These spots are less sensitive but still provide enough surface area for a hickey, making them great alternatives.

Vary the Type of Hickey

Not all hickeys need to look the same. Maybe today’s is a subtle, dime-sized mark, while tomorrow’s is a bolder, coin-sized statement. Variety keeps things exciting and lets you tailor your technique to the moment.

To create different styles, adjust your suction intensity and duration. For a light, faint hickey, stick to a short burst of gentle suction. For something more dramatic, increase the pressure and hold for a little longer. Get creative, and remember—there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to love bites.

Potential Downsides of Giving a Hickey

Hickeys can be fun in the moment, but they aren’t without their challenges. While they might serve as a mark of affection, they can also come with a few downsides that are worth considering. Let’s explore the less glamorous side of love bites and how to navigate them.

They Can Be Embarrassing

Imagine this: you’re sitting in a meeting, and all eyes are on the vibrant purple blotch peeking out from your collar. Suddenly, the cheeky hickey doesn’t feel so fun anymore. Hickeys can draw attention in public settings, where they might be seen as unprofessional or even immature.

"There’s a lingering social stigma around hickeys, especially in conservative environments," notes Santini. "While they’re a personal choice, the visibility of a hickey can make some people feel self-conscious or judged."

If you’re not ready for the world to know about your intimate moments, it’s best to keep hickeys small, subtle, or in areas that can be easily concealed. A little forethought can save a lot of awkwardness later.

Covering Them Can Be Annoying

Hiding a hickey isn’t always a walk in the park. Scarves, high-neck tops, and makeup can work wonders, but they take effort—and not everyone wants to spend their morning wrestling with concealer or rearranging their wardrobe.

"Covering a hickey is like playing a game of hide-and-seek," says Lasson. "It’s doable, but it can be tedious and time-consuming, especially if you’ve got a busy schedule or an important event."

Plus, some outfits just aren’t hickey-friendly. That elegant off-the-shoulder dress? Not much use when your hickey’s proudly on display. If discretion is important to you, consider discussing placement with your partner beforehand. A well-placed hickey can be your best-kept secret.

They Can Leave a Scar

While most hickeys fade after a few days, some can leave a longer-lasting impression—literally. Severe suction or repeated hickeys in the same spot can damage the skin enough to cause scarring.

"Skin is delicate, especially in areas like the neck where it’s thinner," says Dyachenko. "If you’re not careful, you could end up with pigmentation changes or scars that take weeks or even months to fade."

To minimise the risk of scarring:

• Avoid excessive suction or biting.
• Keep the hickey small and avoid creating multiple marks in close proximity.
• Massage the area gently after to increase blood flow and speed healing.

And if a hickey seems stubborn or doesn’t heal properly, it might be worth consulting a dermatologist for advice.

Cover-Up Tips for Hickeys

Got a hickey but not ready to flaunt it? No worries—there are plenty of ways to keep your love bite under wraps. From quick fixes to longer-term solutions, these tips will help you hide or reduce the visibility of a hickey so you can go about your day worry-free.

Makeup Solutions

When it comes to covering up a hickey, makeup is your best mate. A good concealer and foundation combo can work wonders, blending the mark seamlessly into your skin tone.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Start by applying a green colour corrector to neutralise the redness or purple tones of the hickey.
2. Dab a concealer that matches your skin tone over the corrector. Use a sponge or brush for a smooth finish.
3. Blend it out gently, ensuring there are no harsh edges.
4. Set the area with a light dusting of translucent powder to keep it in place all day.

For extra coverage, choose a long-wear formula that won’t rub off easily. Bonus tip: match the makeup to your neck, not your face, as the skin tone can vary slightly.

Clothing Choices

Sometimes, the easiest way to hide a hickey is to cover it with your outfit. High-neck tops, turtlenecks, scarves, or even a strategically placed collar can do the trick.

If you’re looking for something more casual, consider a lightweight scarf or a stylish bandana—they add a touch of flair while keeping your secret safe. For warmer weather, opt for tops with raised necklines like mock turtlenecks or sleeveless options that still provide coverage.

And if you’re dressing for an event, consider accessories. Statement necklaces or chunky jewellery can draw attention away from your neck and keep prying eyes distracted.

Home Remedies to Reduce Visibility

If you’d rather speed up the healing process than hide the hickey, home remedies can be surprisingly effective. Here are some tried-and-tested techniques:

• Cold Compress: Apply an ice pack or a chilled spoon wrapped in a cloth to the hickey for 10-15 minutes. This reduces swelling and helps the blood vessels heal faster.
• Massage the Area: Gently massage the hickey in circular motions to disperse the clotted blood. This encourages circulation and fades the bruise more quickly.
• Apply a Warm Compress (After 48 Hours): Once the initial swelling subsides, switch to a warm compress to promote healing and reduce the mark.
• Aloe Vera or Arnica Gel: Both are known for their soothing properties and can help reduce bruising.

Be consistent with these remedies for the best results. While they won’t erase the hickey overnight, they can significantly speed up its disappearance.

Long-Term Solutions

For stubborn hickeys that refuse to budge, you might need a more persistent solution. This includes investing in high-coverage makeup products designed for body use, such as camouflage creams. These are thicker than regular concealers and offer longer-lasting coverage.

If you frequently get hickeys and want to avoid the hassle altogether, consider setting boundaries with your partner about placement. Suggest areas that are easier to hide or less prone to showing bruises.

Lastly, if a hickey leaves behind pigmentation or scarring, consulting a dermatologist can help. Treatments like laser therapy or specialised creams can fade marks over time.

Preventing and Minimising Hickey Issues

While hickeys can be a playful expression of affection, it’s always better to give them responsibly. A bit of care and communication can make the experience enjoyable without causing discomfort or embarrassment. Here are some practical tips to prevent and minimise hickey-related issues.

Communicate with Your Partner

Before leaning in, have a chat. Communication is key to ensuring your partner is comfortable with the idea of a hickey. Not everyone loves the idea of a visible mark, and discussing preferences can help avoid any awkward surprises.

"Talking openly about intimacy, including hickeys, fosters trust and understanding," says Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist. "When both partners feel heard and respected, it enhances the experience and strengthens the bond."

Discuss placement, size, and even whether your partner wants a hickey at all. A quick conversation can make the difference between a fun moment and an awkward regret.

Apply Gentle Pressure

Hickeys are about finesse, not force. Applying too much pressure can lead to discomfort or even more noticeable bruising than intended. Instead, start gently and build up gradually. It’s always better to err on the side of caution.

"Think of it as creating a moment, not marking territory," explains Lasson. "Gentle suction is not only safer but also more pleasurable for both partners."

The trick is to keep things light and playful. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions—if they flinch or pull away, it’s a sign to ease up.

Monitor the Duration

Timing matters when giving a hickey. The longer you apply suction, the deeper and more intense the mark will be. While this might sound tempting, it increases the risk of prolonged bruising or even scarring.

Stick to a sweet spot of 10–20 seconds per mark. This is usually enough to create a visible hickey without overdoing it. If you’re aiming for a more dramatic effect, consider layering multiple lighter marks instead of going overboard on one spot.

As Santini puts it, "The key to a great hickey is balance—enough pressure and duration to leave a mark, but not so much that it becomes uncomfortable or long-lasting."

Final Thoughts on How to Give a Hickey

The art of giving a hickey blends playfulness with intimacy, a thrilling dance of passion and connection. Questions might linger—"What if it’s too much?" or "Will it be perfect?"—and those doubts are natural. Relax. It’s about shared moments, not perfection. Master the techniques, respect boundaries, and embrace the fun without fear. Hickeys aren’t just marks—they’re memories etched with care. Spread the joy by sharing this guide; everyone deserves a little spark in their love story.