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Mutual Masturbation: 9 Crazy-Hot Tips Couples Will Love

Mutual Masturbation: 9 Crazy-Hot Tips Couples Will Love

Content Verification

Katie Lasson
Written by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Barbara Santini
Fact Checked by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

🔥 Quick & Cheeky Summary 🔥

  • 🫦 Mutual masturbation is all about shared pleasure – no pressure, all play!

  • 👀 Watching your partner touch themselves is outrageously arousing – voyeur vibes, anyone?

  • 👐 Hands-on or hands-off – there are *no rules*, just consent and creativity.

  • 💬 Dirty talk, eye contact, and toys can supercharge the connection (and the climax!).

  • 💞 It's intimate, empowering, and a fabulous way to explore fantasies together.

💡 Tips from Our Naughtily Wise Experts 💡

  • 🛋️ Get comfy! Cushions, mood lighting, and no interruptions – treat it like a sexy ritual.

  • 🎧 Add a soundtrack – moans, giggles, or Marvin Gaye, whatever tickles your... fancy.

  • 🧴 Don’t forget the lube – it’s silky, slippery magic for you both.

  • 👄 Narrate the action – tell them what you’re doing or what you’d love to do next.

  • 🎁 Introduce toys – wands, vibes or strokers can elevate the fireworks!

Ever thought about mutual masturbation but weren't quite sure how to start, or why you'd even want to? You're not alone. Masturbating together is an amazing way for couples to build intimacy without sex, boost closeness, and enjoy safe pleasure. It’s also fantastic for exploring desires, sharing fantasies, and keeping things exciting—especially if penetrative sex isn't an option.

Mutual masturbation can help you dodge STIs, ramp up your foreplay, and bring fresh excitement to your bedroom. Curious to know how you can confidently dive into mutual masturbation, make it incredibly hot, and deepen your connection? You're about to discover 9 tips that'll take intimacy to new heights, ignite passion, and make mutual pleasure unforgettable—let’s begin!

Why Mutual Masturbation is Perfect for Couples

Mutual masturbation might just be the intimacy builder your relationship needs—especially if sex isn’t an option right now. Whether it’s pregnancy, medical concerns, or just personal preference, non-penetrative sex can seriously boost your closeness. But why exactly should you explore masturbating together? Let's dive straight into some brilliant mutual masturbation benefits.

Firstly, mutual masturbation is an excellent way to build intimacy without sex. According to Barbara Santini, psychologist and relationship advisor from Peaches and Screams, "Couples who explore mutual masturbation often find their emotional bonds strengthened significantly."

It also provides a fantastic safe-sex alternative, commonly known as outercourse. Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor, explains, "Outercourse like mutual masturbation allows couples intimacy without worrying about risks of pregnancy or STIs."

Got distance between you and your partner? Mutual masturbation is ideal for keeping things hot in long-distance relationships. Sex therapist Tatyana Dyachenko adds, "Couples separated by distance often find mutual masturbation keeps the spark alive, maintaining both sexual satisfaction and emotional connection."

And let’s not forget how mutual masturbation can improve foreplay and sexual confidence. Watching your partner’s reactions helps you learn exactly what they love, increasing your bedroom skills and confidence simultaneously.

Overcoming Masturbation Anxiety

Does masturbating in front of your partner make your heart race, and not in the good way? You’re definitely not alone—masturbation anxiety is common, especially among women new to mutual masturbation. Society often makes female masturbation confidence tricky, leaving women feeling awkward or worried about being judged sexually. But here's a reassuring truth: masturbating is completely normal, healthy, and way more common than most realise.

Still feeling shy about masturbating in front of your partner? Tatyana Dyachenko emphasises, "Masturbation anxiety often comes from the fear of judgement rather than from the act itself." Remember, your partner is usually thrilled to see you enjoying pleasure, so relax and embrace that excitement.

To boost your comfort, try dimming the lights or using soft, sensual music to ease nerves. Wearing lingerie or partially clothed play can also ease you into masturbating in front of your partner gradually. Katie Lasson recommends, "Starting slow and gradually increasing exposure helps women gain confidence and overcome initial awkwardness."

Take small, playful steps until masturbating together becomes not just comfortable—but a thrilling, exciting highlight of your intimacy.

How to Initiate Mutual Masturbation

Wondering how exactly to initiate mutual masturbation without feeling awkward or breaking the mood? Don’t worry—it’s simpler (and hotter) than you think. Mutual masturbation often starts naturally with playful foreplay ideas that tease and excite both of you. Ready to kick off the fun?

Sending sexy texts is a perfect way to set the stage early. Barbara Santini notes, “A playful, suggestive text during the day creates anticipation, making initiating mutual masturbation feel natural later.” A simple message like “I can’t wait to watch you touch yourself tonight” does the trick brilliantly.

Feeling a bit more adventurous? Consider stripping slowly for your partner, teasing them with seductive movements but not allowing them to touch. It heightens excitement and shows them exactly what you have in mind, all without saying a word.

Another effortless way to initiate mutual masturbation is during intimate moments when you're already getting close. Simply whisper in their ear how hot it'd be to watch each other pleasure yourselves. As Katie Lasson suggests, “Letting desire lead naturally makes mutual masturbation feel exciting, spontaneous, and utterly irresistible.”

9 Crazy Hot Mutual Masturbation Tips Couples Will Love

Ready to try mutual masturbation but unsure how to make it extra memorable? You’re about to discover mutual masturbation techniques that’ll take your intimacy to new levels. These playful, sexy, and easy-to-follow tips will turn masturbating together into your new favourite activity. Let’s get started!

Find the Perfect Position

Choosing the right position makes mutual masturbation incredibly hot. Lying face-to-face boosts eye contact and intimacy, while sitting opposite provides a sexy full-body view. Feeling bolder? Straddle your partner's thighs for an unforgettable, close-up experience. Tatyana Dyachenko says, "Eye contact during masturbation builds deep emotional intimacy, making orgasms feel more intense."

Explore Mutual Touching

Mutual masturbation doesn’t mean hands-off completely—gentle touches heighten arousal brilliantly. Caress your partner's thighs, stomach, or chest softly, teasing without touching their genitals. Introducing playful no-touch rules can heighten tension and excitement significantly. It’s all about anticipation, and nothing builds sexual tension like teasing the senses.

Master the Art of the Hand job

Think hand jobs are just simple stroking? Think again! For circumcised men, use twisting motions or alternating hand movements for extra sensation. Uncircumcised partners might prefer gentle, sliding motions of the foreskin—lubrication here is essential. Barbara Santini recommends, "A silicone-based or natural coconut oil lubricant enhances sensation dramatically, transforming hand jobs from ordinary to extraordinary."

Introduce Sex Toys

Adding sex toys takes mutual masturbation from hot to scorching. Vibrators or dildos boost your pleasure, making your partner incredibly aroused watching you enjoy them. For him, strokers or masturbators intensify sensations dramatically during mutual masturbation. Use plenty of lube, and don’t hesitate to experiment—variety makes mutual play endlessly exciting!

Experiment with Dirty Talk

Dirty talk transforms mutual masturbation into an erotic adventure. Describe exactly how good it feels, ask your partner what they'd love you to do next. Sharing fantasies openly through seductive whispers heightens intimacy and connection beautifully. As Katie Lasson says, "Erotic communication opens new doors, enhancing intimacy and making mutual masturbation deeply satisfying."

Try Mutual Masturbation Remotely

Separated from your partner? Mutual masturbation doesn’t stop with distance—remote masturbation via webcam or phone sex is thrilling. Set the scene with dimmed lighting, sensual music, and erotic lingerie to create excitement even miles apart. Maintain playful conversation to keep connected, ensuring your shared pleasure stays vivid and intense.

Use Erotic Inspiration

If you're feeling shy or unsure how to start, try watching porn or reading erotic literature together. Pick scenes or stories you both enjoy, then mimic or discuss them as you pleasure yourselves. It provides inspiration, encourages fantasy exploration, and enhances your mutual enjoyment beautifully. Sharing fantasies openly keeps intimacy fresh and vibrant.

Take Turns Masturbating

Sometimes the hottest part of mutual masturbation is simply watching each other take turns. Being both watcher and watched boosts erotic tension and sexual confidence. Start by letting one partner masturbate while the other enjoys the view; then swap roles seamlessly. This dynamic interplay heightens excitement, anticipation, and shared intimacy dramatically.

Aim for Simultaneous Orgasm

Simultaneous orgasm is amazing—but don’t put pressure on yourselves to achieve it immediately. Instead, tune into your partner's rhythm, body language, and breathing to synchronise your timing gently. If you're multi-orgasmic, allow yourself several smaller peaks beforehand. Remember, it's about enjoying the experience together, not just crossing the finish line at once.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Excited to dive into mutual masturbation? Great—but watch out for these common masturbation mistakes that could dampen the fun. First, avoid overthinking and feeling overly self-conscious; remember, your partner’s excited to see your pleasure, not judge your performance. Tatyana Dyachenko advises, "Relax and remind yourself this moment is about shared enjoyment, not about perfection."

Another frequent mistake is rushing towards orgasm without truly savouring the journey together. Slow down, enjoy each touch, tease, and sensation—pleasure grows when you take your time to explore fully. Katie Lasson agrees, saying, "Mutual masturbation isn't a race; it’s about discovering intimacy at your own comfortable pace."

Finally, mutual masturbation advice you should never ignore: communicate openly about comfort, desires, and boundaries. Talk freely, listen carefully, and always respect each other's limits. Great communication transforms masturbation from enjoyable to extraordinary, every single time.

The Bottom Line

Nerves buzzing? Heart racing at the thought of trying something this bold? That’s perfectly normal—embrace it. Mutual masturbation intimacy isn’t just about pleasure; it’s about breaking barriers, building confidence, and unlocking deeper connection. Relax. Explore. Play. Turn hesitation into excitement, and watch as these simple moments utterly enhance your sex life.

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