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From Beginner to Expert: How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Self-Pleasure

From Beginner to Expert: How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Self-Pleasure

Content Verification

Katie Lasson
Written by:

Sex and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:

Medical Doctor
Barbara Santini
Fact Checked by:

Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

🔍 Key Points at a Glance 🔍

📌 Understand Your Anatomy: Familiarise yourself with your body's unique layout to enhance pleasure.


📌 Start Slow: Beginners should opt for smaller sizes and take their time exploring.


📌 Choose the Right Material: Silicone, glass, and steel have distinct advantages.


📌 Cleanliness is Key: Always clean before and after use to ensure safety.

💡 Key Advice and Tips from Our Experts 💡

✨ Embrace Lube: A good lubricant is your best friend for comfort and glide.


✨ Experiment with Angles: Adjust positioning to discover what feels best for you.


✨ Incorporate Warm-Up: Use massages or other tools to get into the mood.


✨ Don’t Rush: Self-pleasure is a journey, not a race – enjoy every moment.

Let’s be real—self-pleasure is one of life’s greatest joys, but are you getting the most out of it? If you’re looking to take your solo sessions to the next level, a dildo can be a game-changer. Whether you’re new to the world of sex toys or a seasoned pro, understanding how to use a dildo for pleasure can unlock whole new realms of satisfaction.

Dildos aren’t just about size or shape; it’s all about technique and positioning for maximum pleasure. Imagine being able to explore your body in ways you never thought possible—finding your perfect angle, hitting the right spots, and feeling all the excitement build up in the most thrilling way.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through the essentials—from picking the right dildo to the best techniques and positions to try. By the end, you'll know exactly how to use a dildo for maximum pleasure. Ready to dive in? Let’s begin!

Before You Begin: Setting the Mood

Before you dive into the action, it’s crucial to set the right mood. Creating a comfortable, safe space for yourself is the foundation of a satisfying self-pleasure experience. If you’re not relaxed or in the right head space, your body won’t respond the way you want it to.

Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor, says, “Our mental and emotional state directly impacts our ability to enjoy physical pleasure. Setting a relaxing atmosphere can help shift your focus and make the experience more fulfilling.” So, take a moment to check in with yourself. Is the space you're in welcoming? Does it feel safe? When you're at ease, your body will follow.

Now, let’s talk about setting the mood. First things first: lighting. Low, ambient lighting is key. Think candles or a soft bedside lamp to create a warm, inviting glow. As Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist, suggests, “Lighting can significantly impact your mood—dim, soft lighting can evoke a sense of relaxation and intimacy, which helps build arousal.” Combine this with some soft music or ambient sounds to keep things peaceful. The right playlist can help you slip into a relaxed, open state, ready to explore your body.

Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor, adds, “It’s all about privacy and feeling safe. Creating a space where you’re not distracted or worried about being interrupted is essential for true enjoyment.” Whether it’s locking the door, pulling the curtains, or just taking a few minutes to centre yourself, privacy allows you to feel truly present and attuned to your pleasure.

Creating a comfortable environment isn't just about aesthetics; it's about creating a space that feels nurturing, where you can completely relax and let go. So, make sure your surroundings are inviting, and let yourself embrace the experience. Once your space is ready, you’re all set to begin exploring the pleasures ahead.

Choosing the Right Dildo

Choosing the right dildo is a game-changer when it comes to self-pleasure. It’s not just about picking something that looks good on the shelf; you need to consider size, material, shape, and texture to get the best experience. After all, comfort and pleasure are what matter most, so take your time to find a toy that fits your needs.

When it comes to size and shape, it’s important to pick a dildo that suits your comfort level. If you're new to toys, the best dildo for beginners might be something smaller and softer. You don’t want to dive straight into something too large or intimidating. Opt for a more moderate size and work your way up as you feel more comfortable. As Lasson advises, “Start small and gradual. It’s all about your comfort zone. A dildo that feels right for your body will give you the best chance of experiencing pleasure without discomfort.”

Next, think about the material. Dildos come in a variety of materials like silicone, rubber, glass, and metal. Silicone is often the most recommended for beginners because it’s body-safe, easy to clean, and flexible, providing a more natural feel. Texture is another important factor. Some people enjoy a smooth, sleek surface, while others may prefer a more textured design that mimics the sensations of real skin or adds a bit of extra stimulation.

Dyachenko notes, “Texture can drastically change your experience. If you enjoy more sensation, a dildo with ridges or bumps can offer a completely different level of stimulation.” The shape of the dildo is key, too—curved dildos are excellent for G-spot or prostate play, while straight dildos might be more comfortable for overall pleasure.

Don’t forget that choosing the right dildo is about exploring what feels good for you. Take your time to figure out your preferences and experiment with different shapes, sizes, and materials. Ultimately, the right choice will lead to deeper, more satisfying pleasure. So, start where you're comfortable, and enjoy the journey of discovering your ideal fit.

Don’t Forget About Warm-up: Preparing for Pleasure

Before you dive into the main event, warming up is essential. Just like with any physical activity, the right warm-up gets your body ready, increasing sensitivity and enhancing the overall experience. When you’re preparing for self-pleasure, taking the time to ease into it can make all the difference.

Warming up isn’t just about “getting in the mood”—it’s about preparing for self-pleasure by engaging your body and mind. The more relaxed and aroused you are, the more your body will respond to the dildo. Start by exploring your body with your hands, massaging your neck, shoulders, or any area where you carry tension. This can help you tune into your physical sensations and start to feel more connected to your pleasure.

If you want to kick it up a notch, using a vibrator for clitoral or nipple stimulation can quickly enhance arousal. A few minutes of this can increase blood flow to the area, making everything feel more sensitive and receptive to the dildo. As Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor, puts it, “The mind and body need to be in sync for a fulfilling experience. Arousal isn’t just physical; it’s mental. Warming up engages both and sets the stage for deeper pleasure.”

You can also use a gentle touch to explore your erogenous zones. Try circling your fingers around your intimate areas or lightly tapping your thighs. These small movements can awaken your body, making you more eager and receptive when the time comes to introduce the dildo.

Another great dildo warm-up technique is incorporating a bit of lube before you start. Lube adds to the smoothness and comfort, and it’s a great way to prepare your body for the sensations that will come next. Make sure to use a high-quality water-based lube, especially if you're using a silicone dildo, to avoid any damage to the material.

Best Dildo Techniques

Now that you’re ready to go, let’s dive into the best dildo techniques to truly maximise your pleasure. The right technique can completely transform your experience, making it more intense, satisfying, and fun. Whether you’re exploring new sensations or looking to perfect your favourite moves, these techniques are designed to help you find what works best for you.

Deep Thrusting

Deep thrusting can deliver intense pleasure, especially when you want to reach those deeper, more sensitive areas. By pushing the dildo in and out with a steady rhythm, you’ll hit deeper spots that might not be activated with shallow thrusts. This technique is particularly great for targeting the G-spot or prostate. Just remember, slow down and focus on your body's response. It’s not just about depth—it’s about the sensation.

Short and Shallow

Sometimes, less is more. Short and shallow thrusts can work wonders for building up tension and keeping the pleasure building steadily. This gentler approach helps you explore more subtle sensations without overwhelming yourself. It's perfect if you're looking for a slower build-up or a more intimate experience. Focus on the rhythm and the way your body reacts, and let the pleasure slowly grow.

Rock It Out

Not all motion needs to be forward and back. Try rocking the dildo in a back-and-forth motion for a different sensation. This technique, known as rocking, can target your sensitive areas in a way that deep thrusting may miss. It can increase the sensation in your vaginal walls or prostate by varying the pressure, and it can feel incredibly arousing. Experiment with rocking at different angles to find what works best for you.

Keep on Turning

Sometimes, it’s not just about thrusting. Turning the dildo during use—whether clockwise or counterclockwise—can add a surprising level of pleasure. This rotating motion increases stimulation, especially in the vaginal or anal areas, where the shape and texture of the dildo can produce different feelings as it moves around. By varying the angle and speed of the turns, you’ll find even more pleasure zones to explore.

Milk the G-Spot

If you’re looking for mind-blowing orgasms, G-spot stimulation is a must. The G-spot is located about two to three inches inside the vaginal canal on the front wall. A curved dildo is perfect for hitting this spot with precision. Use slow, firm thrusts or gently ‘milk’ the G-spot by making a "come here" motion with the dildo. This technique can lead to intense, body-shaking orgasms when done right, so take your time to discover your unique rhythm.

Temperature Play

Take things to the next level with temperature play. By warming or cooling your dildo, you can create a heightened sensory experience. A warm dildo mimics body temperature and can feel soothing, while a chilled one delivers a refreshing jolt of sensation. Try experimenting with both to see which you prefer. Just make sure the material can safely handle temperature changes, and always test the temperature on your skin before use to avoid discomfort.

Anal Play

If you're interested in anal play with a dildo, it’s important to go slow and choose the right toy. Start with a smaller, smooth dildo designed specifically for anal use, and always use plenty of lube. The anus has more nerve endings than the vagina, making it a highly sensitive area. By gently inserting and thrusting, you can build up sensations that can lead to incredible pleasure. Just take your time, listen to your body, and never rush.

Double Penetration

For those who want to intensify the experience, double penetration with a dildo can be a thrilling option. This technique involves using both a dildo and another toy (like a vibrator or another dildo) to stimulate different areas at the same time. You might use a dildo vaginally while incorporating anal play, or explore dual vaginal penetration. This combination of sensations can bring on stronger, more complex orgasms. Make sure to use toys of varying shapes and sizes to match your preferences and keep things comfortable.

These best dildo techniques are all about enhancing your pleasure and exploring new sensations. Whether you prefer deep thrusting, temperature play, or experimenting with double penetration, there’s something here for everyone. So, try a few of these out, and see which ones make your solo sessions even more satisfying!

Best Dildo Positions

Now that you’ve got the techniques down, let’s explore the best dildo positions to really maximise your pleasure. Your position can make all the difference in how intense and satisfying your experience is. Whether you're looking for comfort, deep penetration, or total control, these positions are designed to help you find the right angle and maximise sensation.

Lying Down

If you’re after a relaxed, comfortable experience, lying down is the perfect choice. It’s easy, stress-free, and allows you to focus on the sensations without worrying about your posture. Lying on your back or stomach, you can relax your body and allow your hands to roam freely as you explore the dildo’s movements. This position is ideal for those who want to take things slow and enjoy a laid-back solo session. It's a great starting point, especially for beginners, as it requires minimal effort while still allowing you to enjoy all the sensations.

Facing Down

Want to get a little deeper? Facing down changes the angle of penetration, which can lead to more intense sensations. Whether you're lying face down or kneeling, this position allows the dildo to hit areas that might not be as easily accessible in other positions. This downward angle can provide deep penetration, making it perfect for those who enjoy hitting the G-spot or targeting more intense pressure points. It's a great way to explore new sensations and see just how different your pleasure can be when the angle shifts.

Sideways

Sideways positions offer a lot of freedom to move, and they’re perfect for those who want to explore varied sensations without straining their muscles. By lying on your side, you allow for more comfortable thrusting with a range of motion that’s just right for exploring different depths and rhythms. You can also switch between shallow and deeper movements, depending on how you angle the dildo. This position is all about comfort and variation, so it’s great if you like to mix things up during your session.

Sitting

If you want full control over the action, sitting is a great position for taking charge. You can sit with your legs spread or even straddle a chair, bed, or other sturdy surface. The seated position allows you to control the depth, speed, and angle of the dildo, which can make your experience much more personalised. As you adjust the way you sit, you can feel the dildo hit different spots, giving you total control over your pleasure. It's especially great if you're into riding your dildo—taking full control by rocking your hips and riding at your own pace, which intensifies the pleasure and allows you to explore your body fully.

Riding Your Dildo

Speaking of riding your dildo, this position is all about taking command of your pleasure. Whether you're sitting upright or in a kneeling position, riding your dildo lets you set the pace. You can experiment with different speeds, pressures, and angles as you move up and down. This is a fantastic way to build up to orgasm, as the control you have allows you to adjust how intense the sensations are. It’s empowering, exciting, and gives you the chance to really get in tune with what feels best for your body.

Each of these dildo pleasure positions brings something unique to the table. Whether you're lying back for a relaxing experience or riding the dildo for intense pleasure, you can always find a position that works for you. Don't be afraid to switch things up and see how different angles affect your sensations—after all, it’s all about finding the most pleasurable fit for your body.

Tips for Making the Most of Your Dildo

Now that you’ve explored techniques and positions, it’s time to talk about some key tips for truly making the most of your dildo. These tips will ensure you have a comfortable, enjoyable experience every time you use your toy, from taking it slow to keeping it clean and safe for future use.

Take Your Time

Patience is key when it comes to using a dildo. You don’t have to rush; after all, the goal is pleasure, not a race to the finish. Listen to your body—take things slow and figure out what feels best for you. If you’re new to using a dildo, take a few minutes to get comfortable before jumping into anything intense. As the saying goes, good things come to those who wait, and this is absolutely true for self-pleasure. The more you pay attention to your body’s reactions and sensations, the better your experience will be.

Lubrication

Using lube with a dildo is a game-changer. Lubrication can make the entire experience smoother, more comfortable, and way more pleasurable. It helps reduce friction, making insertion easier, and enhances the feeling of fullness as you move the dildo. Whether you’re using a silicone, rubber, or glass dildo, a water-based lube is typically your best bet, as it’s safe for most materials and won’t cause any damage. You might need to reapply as you go, especially if you’re using a toy for longer sessions. Just be sure to avoid oil-based lubes with silicone toys, as they can break down the material over time.

Cleaning and Maintenance

Keeping your dildo clean and in good condition is essential for both hygiene and longevity. After every use, wash your dildo with warm water and mild, unscented soap, or use a toy cleaner. This ensures that bacteria doesn’t build up and helps maintain the material’s quality. If your dildo is made of porous material, you might want to invest in a sterilising cleaner to keep things extra safe. Always store your dildo in a clean, dry place—preferably in a dust-free bag or case to protect it from any external damage. Regular maintenance will not only keep your toy hygienic but also ensure it lasts longer and performs better.

The Bottom Line

It’s time to embrace the journey of exploring pleasure on your own terms. Sure, it might feel daunting at first, but there’s power in discovering what brings joy to your body. Whether it’s mastering new dildo pleasure techniques or finding that perfect position, every step brings a new level of satisfaction. The possibilities are endless—so why not take the plunge? Keep experimenting, keep learning, and unlock your full potential. Self-pleasure is about you, and it’s about time to fully experience what’s waiting for you.

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