Unsure About Consent? Here's Hollywood 101
Hollywood often glamorize and romanticize sexual violence to create drama or build up a love story. Unfortunately, we can't tell someone they should have known their boundaries because they've seen this type of behavior on television. Therefore, we should all educate ourselves about consent before participating in these problematic behaviors and tropes.
Before and after any sexual activity, it's good to note that it's important for both partners to define their expectations. Otherwise, there might be misunderstandings that could lead to unsafe sex or assault. The simple act of giving and receiving consent is an important thing for people; it is good for someone to understand how important consent is. Therefore, exploring the importance of consent which will help set clear expectations.
What Is Consent?
It is a verbal or physical agreement to engage in sexual activity. You don't need consent for every sexual act, but you need it for each act. If you want to touch someone's breasts, you can't just go ahead and do it without asking, even if the person previously agreed to kiss. We learn that respecting your partner's wishes and boundaries and knowing your own needs are key.
People often wonder how they should handle consent agreements when more than two people are involved in the sexual act. Therefore, some basic guidelines explain this.
First, ask everyone if they're okay with what you're doing before proceeding. Also, kissing or touching someone else sexually while your partner is watching should be communicated earlier.
Secondly, make sure everyone agrees on who touches whom and where before proceeding with the play.
Thirdly, if anyone doesn't want to participate in a particular sex act, don't pressure them into it or make them feel bad about themselves because of their decision.
Why Is Consent Important?
Consent is essential in sex. Engaging in sex without your partner’s agreement or knowledge can result to assault. Assault is a kind of sexual harassment that arises when an individual gets sexually touchy without your permission. Consent is important in sex as it prevents unwanted, ill intentions.
How Do I Ask For Consent?
Avoid assuming that your partner is okay with your cheeky habits. Use statements such as “can I touch your body or specific parts such as butt or hand” or “can I kiss you?" Don't stop asking for consent throughout the entire experience. When in doubt, check in with your partner.
When Should You Ask for Consent?
Consent is a vital and often an overlooked aspect of sexual activity. It's important to ask for consent before engaging in any sexual activity, including kissing, touching, oral, and penetrative sex. If you're unsure of your partner’s desires, it's best to ask before doing anything that could be seen as sexual assault.
It is best never to assume what someone feels comfortable with simply because they didn't push you away. It's really hard for assault victims to speak up about what happened because there is so much guilt associated with the crime. We all need to make sure we don't make light of assaults and make Hollywood 101 education mandatory for all high school students.
How Do I Give Consent?
Consent can be given in two ways: verbally and non-verbally. Verbal consent can be given using the words ‘yes’ or ‘I'm up for it’. Nonverbal consent is a little more difficult to explain. All you need to do is make sure that your partner knows what you want by asking them if they're okay with what's happening. If they don't want something, they can take steps to stop it. If they don't know what they want, then take the time to figure out what they may be interested in before proceeding with anything that could be seen as an assault. Nodding can be a sign of giving or declining consent.
Consent in Action
In Hollywood, consent is a complicated issue. It is not often discussed in movies and television shows. Many people have been left confused or believing that it's okay to have sex without consent. There are a few ways Hollywood has glamorized sexual violence in the past few years.
In a movie called “The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death”, a ghost assaults multiple people by climbing on top of them and making them feel like they're suffocating.
In the 2015 romantic comedy “Trainwreck”, Amy Schumer steals her sister's boyfriend because she believes she should be sleeping with whomever she wants regardless of their relationship status.
In the television show “M*A*S*H*”, the character "Hot Lips" tries to seduce someone while they're unconscious and make out with them when they wake up. She does this multiple times even though the person doesn't want to participate and insists that he has a girlfriend.
4) In “Friends”, Rachel sleeps with Ross's best friend because Ross was too busy to sleep with her at the time.
Conclusion
A note to remember is that consent is never implied. If you are not sure, then you should explicitly ask. If you are sexually active, it is your responsibility to make sure that you are giving consent at all times. Otherwise, your partner might end up raping you. When you are not sure if you are giving consent, then ask. You can always say no.