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Hybristophilia Fetish: Turned On by Dangerous Lovers

Hybristophilia Fetish: Turned On by Dangerous Lovers

Content Verification

Barbara Santini
Written by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Katie Lasson
Fact Checked by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

💘 Naughty Nuggets of Hybristophilia 💘

  • 🚔 Hybristophilia is a spicy attraction to ‘bad’ or dangerous people – think Bonnie and Clyde vibes.

  • 🖤 It’s not always about actual criminals – it's the *fantasy* of danger that gets hearts (and loins) racing.

  • 💣 This fetish plays with power, risk, and control in a way that’s both thrilling and taboo.

  • 🎭 Roleplay is often a safe and creative outlet to explore this kink – no actual jail time required!

  • 🧠 As always, consent and communication are the real MVPs when dabbling in dangerous fantasies.

🧠 Top Tips from Our Saucy Sexperts 🧠

  • 🗣️ Fantasies are fabulous – but be sure your play partner is fully clued in and consent-happy.

  • 🎬 Try safe roleplay scenarios (think: mock interrogations or faux bank robbers on the run).

  • 🔒 Establish clear boundaries and safe words – passion without caution is a recipe for disaster.

  • 🎭 Costumes, props, and whispered secrets? Yes please – but keep it playful, not perilous.

  • ✨ And remember, feeling turned on by fantasy doesn’t mean you’d act it out in real life – and that’s totally okay!

Ever wondered why some people get turned on by criminals? We’re not talking about bad boys—we mean actual criminals. That’s the world of Hybristophilia—a fetish for those dangerously charming types who’ve lied, cheated, stolen... even killed. It’s sometimes called Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome, named after the infamous lovers who robbed banks and hearts.

Believe it or not, this kind of sexual attraction to criminals isn’t as rare as you might think. In fact, it’s just one of many unusual desires listed in our Complete List of 239 Kinks and Fetishes. People aren’t just aroused by touch—they’re turned on by taboo, power, and danger.

So, what is Hybristophilia really about? Why do some people crave the criminally inclined? Let’s pull back the curtain on this thrilling, twisted attraction.

Let’s begin.

What is Hybristophilia?

Hybristophilia might sound like a complex term, but it’s surprisingly simple—and deeply provocative. At its core, this fetish is all about being sexually aroused by someone who's committed a crime.

Whether it's cheating, lying, theft, or murder, the arousal comes from the knowledge of the act—not necessarily the act itself. Some are drawn to lesser offences, like infidelity or fraud. Others? They’reattracted to dangerous partners guilty of much darker deeds. That’s the difference between “soft” and “extreme” Hybristophilia.

Psychologists often classify this as a paraphilia, meaning a sexual interest that deviates from the norm. It’s not the same as liking a tattooed bad boy who skips rent. This is about craving danger, taboo, and the seductive power of criminality.

According to Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor from Peaches and Screams, “Hybristophilia often stems from a psychological fascination with power, control, and rebellion. It can act as a fantasy escape from one’s routine or trauma.”

Katie Lasson, sex and relationship advisor, adds: “Some individuals are turned on by the idea of ‘taming the beast’—romanticising the idea they’re special enough to change someone dangerous.”

But not everyone falls into this fetish for criminals consciously. Many only recognise the Hybristophilia fetish after repeated attraction to toxic or criminal lovers. It's a subtle pull, not always a full-blown obsession.

As Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist, explains: “For some, it’s about emotional intensity, not just physical danger. There’s a rush that mimics intimacy, even when it’s dysfunctional.”

So while the fantasy can feel thrilling, it’s not always rooted in love. It’s often about risk, rebellion, and raw erotic charge—the kind of thing that feels exciting, even if it’s unsafe.

Psychology behind the Fetish

So, what’s really going on in the mind of someone who finds crime sexy? The answer isn’t simple, but it’s fascinating. The psychology of Hybristophilia mixes erotic danger, emotional wiring, and cultural influences.

Some experts believe trauma bonding plays a part. People with chaotic or abusive pasts may confuse intensity with intimacy. Others chase the thrill—craving that adrenaline rush from loving someone society fears. It’s like riding a roller coaster with no seat belt—terrifying, but addictive.

“Many are drawn to taboo relationships because they offer a sense of rebellion and emotional intensity,” says Barbara Santini. “It’s less about love and more about control, fantasy, and the forbidden.”

There’s also the fantasy of danger without real risk. Writing letters to a prisoner? Flirting with someone behind bars? It feels thrilling… but safe. As Katie Lasson puts it, “The person is locked up. There’s no real-world threat. That illusion of danger creates powerful eroticism.”

Let’s not forget the media’s hand in this. Romanticised killers, seductive villains, Netflix documentaries—they paint criminals as darkly charismatic. Suddenly, people aren’t just fascinated… they’re turned on.

Tatyana Dyachenko adds, “Popular culture often glamourises criminals, making them seem complex, misunderstood, even desirable.”

For some, it’s a coping mechanism. For others, it’s pure lust. Either way, it’s not just about the person—it’s about the power, the taboo, and the fantasy.

Real-Life Examples and Notorious Cases

Think this fetish lives only in fantasy? Think again. Real-world cases show just how deep sexual attraction to murderers can go. From courtroom crushes to wedding vows behind bars—this isn’t just tabloid fluff.

Take Ted Bundy, for example. He had groupies fawning over him during his murder trial. Women sent him love letters, nudes, even marriage proposals. Same goes for Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker. Despite being a convicted serial killer, he had admirers swooning over his “bad boy” charm.

This obsession has a name—the “prison wife” phenomenon. Some women, and yes, men too, fall in love with inmates they’ve never met. For them, it’s not a phase. It’s a lifestyle.

This is Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome in full swing—where the criminal’s notoriety fuels desire. The danger isn’t a red flag—it’s the whole damn outfit.

Even celebrity criminals like Charles Manson gained cult-like sexual attention. “They’re seen as anti-heroes,” says Katie Lasson, “fascinating, dominant, and untamed.”

But make no mistake: these aren't harmless crushes. They're complex, sometimes risky infatuations rooted in power, fame, and raw fascination. These lovers of killers aren’t just curious—they’re captivated.

Is Hybristophilia Harmful or Harmless?

Here’s the big question: is Hybristophilia dangerous, or just a harmless kink? The answer depends on where fantasy ends and reality begins. Like any fetish, it’s all about context and boundaries.

Fantasising about criminals in a safe, imaginative way? Fine. Getting turned on by consensual role play where one partner pretends to be the “bad guy”? Still fine. But when the fetish spills into real obsession with violent offenders, things can turn dark—fast.

Barbara Santini warns, “It becomes a problem when the line between desire and delusion disappears. That’s when psychological fetish health is at risk.”

Some people send money to murderers, defend their crimes, or even marry them. That’s more than kink—it’s potentially unhealthy attachment.

There’s no shame in sexual exploration. But if your desire puts your safety, sanity, or self-worth at risk? It’s time to check in with a therapist.

As Tatyana Dyachenko puts it, “Fantasy should empower, not endanger. When a fetish controls you, rather than excites you, it’s a red flag.”

Understanding your fetish boundaries is key. Explore, enjoy—but keep it safe, sane, and consensual.

Hybristophilia in the Broader Context of Fetishes

Hybristophilia might sound extreme, but it’s just one thread in the wild tapestry of human desire. From feet to fire play, the world of unique sexual fetishes is vast and endlessly varied.

Understanding paraphilias means recognising that people are turned on by all sorts of things—and that’s okay. As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, there’s no shame in exploring your sexual self.

Rather than judge, we should aim to get curious. Kinks often come from deep psychological roots, past experiences, or just plain curiosity. No one’s fantasy is more “normal” than another.

Curious about what else people are into? Check out our Complete List of 239 Kinks and Fetishes for a deep dive into the wonderfully weird world of desire. You’ll be surprised, shocked—and maybe even inspired.

The Bottom Line

Feeling shocked, intrigued, or even unsettled? That’s totally normal—Hybristophilia hits deep, stirring curiosity and discomfort alike. But that’s the beauty of sexual fetish awareness: it challenges, expands, and frees. There’s no shame in craving the unconventional, as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual. Embrace the weird, the wild, the wired. Keep exploring kinks safely, without judgement or fear. Want more like this? Dive into the Complete List of 239 Kinks and Fetishes. Let the exploration begin.

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