Making your twosome a threesome: testing the waters

By Elena Ognivtseva

So you’ve decided: you want to find out what it’s like to engage in a steaming hot threesome with another girl or guy and you’ve spoken to your partner about it. You’re both interested and excited at the idea, but also a little scared: inviting a third person into your union, if only just once, could change the dynamics completely, or could ruin a friendship with the third person.

In a recent study COSMOPOLITAN published that less than 10% of all women have confirmed that they’ve been in a threesome with their partner. On the other hand, 33% of men confirm that it’s their number one fantasy that they get to engage in a FFM threesome with their wife or girlfriend.

Before you commit to a completely new erotic encounter with your partner and a third person, you need to make sure that you’re absolutely ready. Even if you’re a mature, well-rounded individual, it might drive your jealousy wild to see your man with another woman, or conversely, to see your woman with another man. On the other hand, if you love seeing your partner’s sense of sexuality and you enjoy watching them writhe in pleasure, then this will only heighten your enjoyment of the experience and it may be exactly what you needed to take your sex life to the next level.

Test the waters by agreeing to some basic rules with your partner. Be very clear on what is and what is not allowed in this new experience, and stick to them when you’re trying it out. You need to agree on all points before you commit to sharing: there is no compromise in threesomes, and trying to find a middle ground that makes somebody uncomfortable can lead to a bad experience.

Having a threesome can be a great way to explore new sexual territory with your partner, and should be done in a safe and comfortable environment to ensure maximum pleasure. Having your partner with you helps to create a trusting, open relationship and you can explore your desires in a rented hotel room before you bring a new partner back to your shared bed. That gives you the anonymity you might desire for a once-off encounter, and can help you to gauge whether it’s something you’d like to try out again without committing.