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Beginner’s Guide To Spanking

Beginner's Guide To Spanking

  • by Katie Peachesa
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Beginner's Guide To Spanking

  • by Katie Peachesa

Content Verification

Katie Lasson
Written by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Barbara Santini
Fact Checked by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

✨ Key Points in a Nutshell ✨

  • 💥 Spanking is all about trust and communication!
  • ⚡ Start slow, and gradually build up the intensity.
  • 💖 Always check in with your partner to make sure they’re comfortable.
  • 🌟 It’s about fun, not pain – get creative with your approach!

🧠 Key Advice & Tips from Our Experts 🧠

  • 👀 Eye contact can be a powerful tool in creating excitement.
  • 🔑 Use different textures and tools to spice things up – a feather, a paddle, or your hand!
  • 🌸 Don’t forget aftercare – a loving cuddle goes a long way.

By Elena Ognivtseva

Spanking has long been a favorite addition to doggy style. However, incorporating this simple technique to your overall bedroom antics may go a long way in creating a very different atmosphere. Trying out spanking for the first time can be a scary endeavor as you have no idea how your partner will react to it. For the sake of all parties involved, here are some guidelines that will have your journey go a bit smoothly.

Communication

Before landing a spank on your partner’s backside and having them freaked out and mad, have a sit down and openly discuss your interest in this new game. If you have no ice breaker, put a movie that has spanking in it and casually use it to raise the subject. Ask your partner’s opinion on the matter and establish whether they are willing to try it out with you. Consensual sex is the only way that will have both of you enjoying the benefits of a good spanking session.

If they have any qualms about indulging carefully explain what will be involved and all the ways you will make sure that they are eased into it slowly and with very little pain. If they stand their ground and refuse, respect their decision and do not try to manipulate them into participating.

Safe word

Spanking involves testing the pain threshold of your partner. To avoid dealing them a great deal of pain, always ensure that you have an agreed upon safe word. The safe word signals the end of the play, and once it is uttered you are to stop immediately. The safe word can be verbal or non-verbal if your partner is gagged. Always ensure that you have a relatively quiet setting to ensure that the words are heard immediately. If you have a signal set up, make sure you periodically check for the sign and be attentive to ensure you do not miss it.

Positions

Spanking can be carried out in virtually any position that exposes the behind. Over the knee spanking is always a favorite as you get the full view of the ass up close. With your hand slightly cupped and your fingers close together, you land the slaps with the intensity that you know your partner can handle. Other positions include standing, lying face down, bending over with the fingers touching the toes and even while suspended.

Start Slow

If you are just starting out, do not rush into using paddles just yet. Starting out slow eases your partner into the experience and helps establish trust between you two. Using your hands is the best starting point as you get to have better control on the pressure that will be applied on your partner’s ass. As you progress, use your hands to deliver harder spanks over a period of time and only switch to spanking tools when you and your partner are physically and psychologically ready. When you do get a toy, test it on a pillow to determine the different pressures as you get used to it. This will help you get used to the toy before using it on your partner while also preventing you from accidentally hurting your partner due to miscalculation.

Aftercare

Spanking causes the skin to become sore and a bit swollen. By placing an icepack on the area, the swelling is kept to a minimum and it also soothes the sting. Aloe vera gel can also be applied to help with faster healing of the bruises, which may take days to completely heal.

It also helps to provide emotional comfort after the session to give your partner a smooth transition from the role play back into reality. A glass of water and a chocolate bar plus a cuddle eases them and helps them settle comfortably back into the present moment. The moments after the session are just as important as the session itself so never skimp on giving the best aftercare service.

Spanking is a great way to introduce a bit of adventure in your relationship and help keep the scene from becoming stale. However, never take any shortcuts and ensure that you are always on the same page with your partner to ensure mutual stimulation and a pleasurable experience.

 


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