How to Finger Yourself: A Step-by-Step Guide to Self-Pleasure and Exploring Your Body

Content Verification

Written by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Let’s talk about self-pleasure, shall we? It’s not just a fun way to unwind—it’s about understanding your body, finding what feels good, and empowering yourself to explore your own desires. So, whether you're a seasoned pro or a curious beginner, there’s always something new to discover.

In this article, we’ll dive into the art of fingering—yes, we’re talking about how to finger yourself properly, and how to unlock some seriously intense pleasure. From G-Spot stimulation to clitoral and vaginal techniques, we’ve got you covered. We’ll even explore a little something extra: anal fingering, for those who want to push their boundaries.

By the end of this guide, you’ll have a solid toolkit of techniques to help you connect with your body and experience mind-blowing orgasms. Ready to take the plunge? Let’s dive in and start exploring how to finger yourself for maximum pleasure!

What Is Fingering?

Fingering is one of the most common forms of self-pleasure, and for a good reason. It's a natural, simple way to explore your body, understand your desires, and experience different kinds of pleasure.

Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor, explains, "Fingering allows women to connect deeply with their own bodies, which is essential for building sexual self-awareness and improving overall well-being." It’s not just about the physical act—it’s about tuning into your body, listening to what feels good, and learning what turns you on.

Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor, adds, "By exploring your body through fingering, you can discover new areas of pleasure, like the G-Spot, and gain a better understanding of your sexual preferences." And she’s right! Fingering is an essential part of self-exploration and can help you pinpoint exactly what works for you.

Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist, further highlights the mental benefits: "Self-pleasure through fingering isn’t only about orgasm—it’s about embracing your body’s natural responses, which can boost confidence and improve your relationship with yourself."

Fingering also helps increase sexual wellness by promoting natural lubrication, reducing stress, and even improving your orgasms. The more you explore, the more confident and self-aware you become, and that’s key to enjoying your sexuality in every way possible. So, let’s dive deeper into the techniques that will help you unlock all this pleasure!

Basic Fingering Technique: Getting Started

Before diving into any kind of self-pleasure, preparation is key. Taking a few moments to get ready will ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience.

Step 1: How to Prepare

First things first—clean hands are essential! Washing your hands thoroughly not only prevents the spread of bacteria but also helps you feel more relaxed and comfortable. Trim your nails, too. Sharp or jagged nails can cause discomfort, so make sure they’re smooth. If you don’t want to risk any friction, you can also consider using gloves, but that’s up to you.

Now, let’s talk lubrication. Lubricant is your best friend when it comes to fingering. Your body may naturally produce some moisture, but adding a little lube will make everything feel smoother and more comfortable. Opt for a water-based lube to avoid irritation, especially if you're sensitive to certain ingredients. A bit of lube goes a long way, so use just enough to keep things slick without it being too slippery.

Step 2: Positioning Your Body and Relaxing

Once you’re prepped and ready, it’s time to position yourself. Find a space where you feel comfortable—whether that’s lying down on your back, sitting, or standing—it’s all about what feels right for you. The key is to stay relaxed, so take a few deep breaths. Tension can make it harder to fully enjoy the experience. You might want to dim the lights, put on some calming music, or take a moment to clear your mind. It’s important to be mentally present in the moment, so don’t rush—just focus on what feels good.

Step 3: How to Locate the Clitoris, Labia, and Vaginal Opening

Next, let’s explore your anatomy. Start by lowering your hand from your breasts down to your stomach and gently feel around. The clitoris is located just above the vaginal opening and can vary in size and sensitivity. Below the clitoris, you’ll feel the fleshy folds of skin—these are your labia.

Your labia come in two parts: the outer, larger labia (labia majora) and the inner, thinner labia (labia minora). These folds serve as the gateway to your vagina, and they’re incredibly sensitive, so take your time to get familiar with them. The vaginal opening, just below the labia, is where your finger will go if you decide to explore deeper.

Step 4: Lightly Rubbing the Labia and Clitoris to Gauge Sensitivity

Once you’ve located these key areas, start by gently rubbing your labia and clitoris with the tip of your finger. Use a light touch at first, paying attention to how your body responds. Does the skin feel soft? Is there any moisture? This is the perfect moment to gauge your own sensitivity. If you feel aroused or wet, that’s a sign your body is getting ready for more. If not, take it slow and focus on enjoying the moment. Every woman’s body is different, and there’s no rush—this is about finding out what feels best for you.

G-Spot Stimulation: A Deeper Exploration

Now that you’ve got the basics down, let’s explore one of the most exciting areas for sexual pleasure: your G-Spot. This little spot, when stimulated, can lead to some incredibly intense orgasms, but finding it can be a bit tricky if you’re not sure where to look. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with all the details.

Step 1: How to Locate Your G-Spot

To find your G-Spot, start by inserting one or two fingers into your vagina. Once inside, curl your fingers upwards toward the roof of your vagina, which is the upper vaginal wall. This is where your G-Spot is typically located, about 2–3 inches in. You’ll know you’ve found it when you feel a slightly raised, spongy area that feels different from the smooth surrounding tissue. It may feel a little rough or ridged, kind of like the feeling of the roof of your mouth. It’s important to take your time with this—you may need to adjust your angle a few times to find it.

Step 2: The Sensation of G-Spot Stimulation

Once you've located the G-Spot, it’s time to explore what it feels like. The sensation can vary from person to person, but many describe it as a soft, ridged area that feels almost like a small bump or raised area. As you press gently on it, it might feel wet and slippery, especially if you’re already aroused. Some women feel a sense of urgency or pressure when this area is stimulated, while others might experience a deep, pleasurable sensation that builds over time. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t immediately feel intense pleasure—it may take some time to get used to this area.

Step 3: Techniques to Apply Pressure and Curling Your Finger for Maximum Pleasure

Now that you’ve found your G-Spot, the real fun begins. To stimulate it, you’ll want to apply gentle but firm pressure. Try curling your finger in a ‘come here’ motion, pressing against the G-Spot as you move your finger in and out. This technique helps to maximise the pressure and intensify the sensation. You can experiment with different speeds and angles to see what works best for you. Some people prefer a slower, more deliberate pace, while others like a faster rhythm to build excitement.

Tip: Focus on Relaxation and Patience to Build Intensity

The key to great G-Spot stimulation is patience. It can take a little time for your body to respond, and that’s completely normal. Relax, breathe deeply, and let the sensations build at their own pace. The more you focus on what feels good, the more intense the pleasure will become. Try not to rush—allow yourself to savour every moment. As you get more comfortable, you’ll find that you can intensify the pressure and increase the pleasure, leading to a potentially powerful orgasm.

Pressure Pressing Technique for G-Spot and Vaginal Orgasms

If you’ve already found your G-Spot and want to take things to the next level, the pressure pressing technique is a game-changer. This technique involves applying additional pressure from the outside, which can help you feel your G-Spot more intensely, leading to deeper and more powerful orgasms. Let’s break it down step by step.

Step 1: Introduction to the Pressure Pressing Technique

To begin, you’ll need to use one hand to apply pressure on your mons pubis—the area above your pubic bone, just where your pubic hair grows. While you’re fingering yourself and stimulating your G-Spot with one hand, place your other hand gently on your mons pubis. This hand will apply downward pressure, creating a more intense sensation on the inside of your vagina. Think of it like squeezing a sponge to release more of its contents—by pressing on the outside, you help the inside of your vagina feel more pressure.

Step 2: How This Technique Enhances G-Spot Stimulation for More Intense Orgasms

The real magic of the pressure pressing technique lies in how it enhances your G-Spot stimulation. By pressing down on your mons pubis, you’re pushing the G-Spot into your fingers, which intensifies the pressure and increases the sensation. This technique effectively helps you "squeeze" the G-Spot, creating a fuller, deeper feeling that can lead to stronger and more intense orgasms. For many, this added pressure makes all the difference in reaching a vaginal orgasm, as it provides just the right amount of stimulation to trigger that powerful, full-body release.

Step 3: Experimenting with Different Pressure Levels

Now, this is where the fun begins. Everyone’s body reacts differently, so it’s important to experiment with the pressure levels to find what feels best for you. Start with a gentle press and gradually increase the pressure as you get more comfortable. Some people find that light pressure works best, while others prefer a firmer push. Don’t be afraid to adjust—perhaps you want more pressure on the mons pubis while also increasing the intensity of your finger movements inside. It’s all about exploring what creates the most pleasure for you.

Remember, there’s no rush. Take your time and tune into what feels right. When you find that sweet spot, you’ll know, and the sensation will likely take you to new heights of pleasure.

Fingering from Behind: An Alternative Stimulation Technique

If you're looking to explore a different kind of sensation, fingering from behind can provide a unique and intense experience. While it may not target the G-Spot in the same way as other techniques, it offers a whole new angle of stimulation. Let’s dive into this alternative method.

Step 1: How to Position Yourself for Fingering from Behind

To begin, you’ll need to position yourself comfortably. Start by sitting or lying on your back, then gently reach your hand down your lower back, just above your anus. You’re going to guide your finger towards your vaginal opening, but instead of entering from the front, you’ll be entering from the back. The positioning is key here: by reaching from behind, you’re accessing a slightly different angle that will stimulate the posterior wall of your vagina. This can feel a bit different than the traditional approach, so give yourself some time to get used to it. You may want to experiment with different angles or positions to find what feels best—lying on your side or bending your legs can alter the sensation.

Step 2: How This Targets the Opposite (Posterior) Wall of Your Vagina

The key difference with this technique is that you’re stimulating the opposite side of your vagina—the posterior wall, which can offer a deeper, more distinct kind of sensation. This area is typically less explored than the anterior (front) side, where the G-Spot is located, but it can still provide incredible pleasure. When you insert your finger from behind, you're reaching the part of your vagina that presses against the rectum, which can bring a whole new depth of pressure and feeling.

Depending on your body, you might find that fingering from behind targets sensitive nerve endings you don’t often stimulate, adding to the overall pleasure. It can feel tighter and more intimate due to the angle, and it might be a great option for those looking to mix things up.

Step 3: Compare the Sensation with Traditional G-Spot Stimulation

While traditional G-Spot stimulation typically provides more focused pleasure, fingering from behind offers a different experience. The G-Spot technique is all about direct pressure and stimulation on the upper vaginal wall, which can lead to intense, orgasmic sensations. On the other hand, fingering from behind targets a broader area of the vaginal wall, creating a more diffuse, but still deeply pleasurable feeling. Some people describe the sensation from behind as more full-bodied or deep, with less pinpointed pressure but still intense overall stimulation.

For some, it might take a little getting used to, but once you’re comfortable with it, this technique can bring a thrilling variety to your self-pleasure routine. It’s about exploring different sensations and finding what works for you. So, if you’re ready for even more fun, let’s explore the next step: doubling your pleasure with two hands!

Double Your Fun: Combining G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulation

Ready to take things to the next level? If you’ve been enjoying G-Spot stimulation, you’re about to unlock a whole new world of pleasure by combining it with clitoral stimulation. Using both hands at the same time can lead to stronger, more intense orgasms. Let's break it down.

Step 1: Using Both Hands—One for Fingering the G-Spot, the Other for Massaging the Clitoris

To get started, you’ll need to use both hands. One hand will continue stimulating your G-Spot, while the other will focus on massaging your clitoris. Position your fingers inside your vagina, curling them to apply pressure on the G-Spot (just like we discussed earlier). At the same time, use your other hand to gently rub or massage your clitoris. You can try a circular motion or a soft tapping action—whatever feels best for you.

By using both hands, you’re engaging two incredibly sensitive areas simultaneously, which can make the pleasure feel more intense and connected. Start slow and adjust your technique depending on how your body reacts—it's all about discovering the rhythm that works for you.

Step 2: How This Dual Stimulation Can Lead to Stronger Orgasms

The magic of dual stimulation lies in how it can amplify your pleasure. Your G-Spot and clitoris are two of the most sensitive areas of your body, and stimulating both at the same time can create a buildup of sexual energy that feels overwhelming in the best possible way. Many women find that combining these two types of stimulation leads to more intense orgasms, as each area enhances the pleasure of the other.

The G-Spot provides deep, internal stimulation, while the clitoris offers more external, focused pleasure. When both are activated together, they can trigger a stronger, more satisfying orgasm that’s both internal and external. It’s like a wave of pleasure that hits you from both sides, creating a fuller, more powerful experience.

Tip: Finding the Right Rhythm and Pressure for Maximum Pleasure

The key to successful dual stimulation is finding the right rhythm and pressure. Play around with different speeds—sometimes a slow, steady rhythm works best, while other times a faster pace can intensify the sensation. The pressure you apply will also play a big role. Too little pressure might not provide enough stimulation, while too much can cause discomfort. It’s about trial and error—listen to your body and adjust as needed.

Remember, there’s no "right" way to do it—everyone’s body responds differently. The more you experiment, the better you’ll get at discovering what feels amazing for you. Once you find your perfect rhythm, it’s likely to result in some seriously satisfying orgasms.

Anal Fingering: Exploring New Pleasures

If you’re curious about expanding your pleasure horizons, anal fingering can offer a whole new level of sensation. While not everyone enjoys anal stimulation, for those who do, it can be incredibly pleasurable and satisfying. But, like any new experience, it’s important to approach it safely and with care. Here’s how to explore anal fingering safely and enjoyably.

Step 1: Introduction to Anal Fingering—Why It Can Be Pleasurable and How to Approach It Safely

Anal fingering is all about discovering a different kind of pleasure. The anus is packed with nerve endings, making it a highly sensitive area that, when stimulated, can bring intense feelings of pleasure. But it’s essential to approach anal play with caution. The muscles around the anus, including the sphincter, are sensitive, so it’s crucial to be gentle and patient. Start by ensuring you’re comfortable and relaxed, and remember that anal pleasure is personal—what feels good to one person may be different for another.

To ensure safety, make sure your hands are clean, your nails are trimmed and filed, and avoid using any sharp or jagged objects. Always use a generous amount of lubrication to reduce friction and make the process smoother and more comfortable.

Step 2: The Importance of Lubrication and Relaxation

When it comes to anal fingering, lubrication is absolutely essential. The anus doesn’t naturally lubricate like the vagina does, so using a water-based or silicone-based lubricant is key to making the experience comfortable. Without lubrication, the process can be painful rather than pleasurable, so don’t skimp on this step. Apply lube generously to your finger and around the anal area to ensure everything glides smoothly.

Equally important is relaxation. Tension in your body or mind can make the experience uncomfortable. Before you begin, take deep breaths, and ensure that you’re in a relaxed state. It can be helpful to start with some external stimulation, like massaging the outer part of the anus, to ease into it and get your body used to the sensation.

Step 3: How to Insert Your Finger Slowly and Gently, and Different Techniques for Anal Pleasure

Once you’re fully prepared and lubricated, slowly and gently insert your finger into the anus. Start with just the tip of your finger and allow your sphincter muscles to relax around it. Don’t rush this process—let your body adjust and get comfortable with the sensation. You might need to pause for a moment to allow your muscles to relax further, especially if you're new to anal play.

Once you're comfortable, you can experiment with different techniques. You can try gently moving your finger in a circular motion, which can stimulate the sensitive nerve endings. Some people also enjoy a slow in-and-out motion, while others prefer gentle pressure or tapping. Each technique offers a unique sensation, so take your time to see what feels best for you.

Tip: Start Slow and Never Rush. Comfort Is Key

The most important thing to remember when it comes to anal fingering is to take it slow. There's no rush. Comfort and relaxation are paramount, so don't push yourself too hard or too fast. Listen to your body, and if you feel any discomfort, stop and reassess. It’s crucial to remember that the journey is as important as the destination, so enjoy the experience at your own pace. The more you explore, the better you’ll understand what feels pleasurable for you.

Safety and Hygiene Tips

When exploring self-pleasure, safety and hygiene should always be your top priority. Taking the proper precautions not only enhances the experience but also ensures your health and well-being. Here are some important safety tips to follow before, during, and after any type of stimulation.

Always Wash Hands and Use Clean Fingers or Gloves

Before engaging in any kind of self-pleasure, always make sure your hands are clean. Wash them thoroughly with soap and water to prevent any bacteria from being transferred to sensitive areas like the vagina or anus. If you prefer, you can also wear clean, disposable gloves, especially if you’re experimenting with different techniques or types of stimulation. This can help reduce the risk of infections and keep the experience hygienic. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Use Plenty of Lubricant to Avoid Discomfort

Lubrication is crucial to prevent any discomfort or pain. The natural lubrication your body produces might not always be enough, so using a generous amount of lube (either water-based or silicone-based, depending on your preference) is essential, particularly for more intense activities like anal fingering or G-Spot stimulation. Lubricant helps reduce friction, which not only makes the process more pleasurable but also reduces the risk of irritation or tearing. Don't be shy—apply plenty and keep some nearby to reapply if needed during your session.

Be Mindful of Your Body’s Reactions and Stop If Something Feels Painful

Your body will always give you signals about what feels good and what doesn’t. Pay close attention to these cues and stop immediately if something feels painful or uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel some pressure or slight discomfort as you explore different techniques, but pain is a sign that your body is not reacting well to what’s happening. If something doesn’t feel right, listen to your body and take a break. You can always come back to it later when you’re more relaxed or try adjusting your technique or the amount of pressure you’re using.

Regularly Clean Any Toys Used for Stimulation

If you’re using any sex toys, make sure to clean them thoroughly after each use. Just like your hands, toys can carry bacteria that, if left uncleaned, can cause infections. Use warm water and mild soap or a dedicated toy cleaner to disinfect them. If your toy is made of a porous material, consider using a condom over it to make cleaning easier. Regular maintenance of your toys will ensure they stay safe for future use and help prolong their lifespan.

Final Thoughts on How to Finger Yourself

You might be thinking, "Is all of this really for me?" Well, it absolutely is. Everyone deserves to feel empowered in their own body, to unlock pleasure, and to understand what truly makes them tick. Self-pleasure isn’t just about fun; it’s about discovering more, feeling more, and being in control. The techniques shared here are tools—tools to help uncover deeper joy, more confidence, and sexual wellness. So go ahead—explore, experiment, and embrace the journey. The power’s in your hands.