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Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

By Ekaterina Mironova

My first serious partner introduced me to bondage as foreplay and I have been hooked ever since. I didn't realize how unfulfilled I was with "regular" sex until I became a part of this exciting world. I also got comfortable with a variety of sex toys. I learned a few painful lessons along the way but now know how to keep bondage safe, sane, and consensual. Read on to get the greatest enjoyment possible from your own sex life.

First off, it's important for bondage to be done in a way that's safe. People have died or been injured from bondage gone wrong. In response, the bondage subculture follows a credo of safety. Make sure that you and your partner (or partners) have a safe word. Stop the play if anyone utters the safe word. If your play involves no talking as a rule, make sure some other signal to stop is worked out ahead of time. Many other tips are common sense: don't leave a bound person alone, sanitize any adult toys before and after use, and make sure that the bondage gear doesn't impair breathing.

It's easy to lose track of time during play, my personal record (and unfortunate learning experience) was eight hours of being bound. Now I know to stop every few hours to eat or drink something and move around. Bondage is also very exciting without drugs or alcohol, many people find being high or drunk makes the experience fuzzy and less exciting. I used to get a good buzz going in order to be brave enough to play, especially with partners I didn't know well, but found I enjoy bondage so much more sober. The sexual arousal that comes from being dominant or submissive is the real drug to me.

I mostly engage in straight sex, and am submissive about half the time and dominant the other half. There are some great bondage toys and gear that add to the experience. Costumes are one way to go, I've been everything from a schoolgirl to a police officer. A costume really helps me get into and enjoy my role. I like whips and to be bound by silk scarves. Handcuffs are easy enough to travel with if you are going on a trip and might need some gear. I recommend having a back-up key in those situations, another lesson learned early on!

While adult toys and gear designed for bondage are the easiest to use, common household items can be used in a pinch. A tie is a useful way to bind hands or bind someone to a bed. Candles are a part of many romantic evenings, evenings that can become much spicier with a little bit of hot wax. An ordinary spatula can be used to spank someone who's tied up, or a feather boa can be used to tease. A tight fitting skirt can be used to limit movement, actually many common clothing items can be used this way. The only limit is your imagination. If you put your mind to it, like I have, you'll see endless possibilities for items around your house.

When dating someone new, I've found it's best to talk directly about my bondage desires. I do this for selfish reasons in part, I want out early if the person is too timid or uptight to play. I've had people interested but cautious, more often than not. In that case, I've tried out very basic things to see how they react. Since I've been practicing bondage, I've met the most interesting people and had fun, but safe, sexual adventures. What are you waiting for? Order some bondage toys and bondage gear and get started!