Want To Go To A Sex Party? Ten Things You Should Know
So you've decided: you want to go to a sex party and find out what it's like to live the life. Sex parties are sophisticated, organised events that allow you to explore your desires and share them with other like-minded people. They're exclusive, invite-only events and once you get through the door, there are a few basic etiquette rules you should probably know about - so here are ten of the most important ones.
You'll need an invite. Sex parties are really personal and the people who organise them take it all very seriously. You'll need a really good recommendation from someone who is already involved in a private sex party, and you'll probably need to fill in a complicated application form once you've accepted the invitation.
Alcohol is not necessarily allowed. If you need a shot of liquid courage, check with the host first. If they permit you to drink on the premises, take with drinks that you don't mind sharing. If it's not permitted, don't spoil things by boozing up before-hand.
Know the rules. It's important that you have a very clear understanding of what is and what isn't allowed. Are you allowed to spank someone? Are you allowed to use toys? Get a complete list of the rules from the hosts, or agree with your partners on the night if they leave it up to you.
Wear the right thing. Some sex parties are held in residential areas, and as such you are expected to dress the part so as to not intrigue nosey neighbours. If the dress code is smart-casual, that doesn't mean it's okay to pitch up in your PVC mask. Be sensible, and respect the host's dress requirements.
Don't take a camera. This might sound like a no-brainer, but it needs to be stated. Don't try to film anyone, don't try to take any photos - and for goodness sake, don't try to use your mobile phone to get 'proof". Unless you've got a stack of model releases in your back pocket and a really good lawyer, don't try to put people in compromising positions outside of the sex party.
Single guys are not usually allowed. It's important to keep the ratio of men-to-women balanced, and to allow women to feel safe and secure in the sex party environment. Too many men create a sausage fest and can leave people unsatisfied - or worse, uncomfortable. You have a better chance of getting in if you have a female partner, or a friend you'd vouch for.
Don't push your way in. Spend some time looking around and sussing out the goings-on at the party. Be sure to check out who's doing what, and think about what you'd like to do. If someone notices you, they'll invite you over. If not, find somewhere to sit and gradually get involved. Pushing your way into an activity will turn people off faster than you can imagine, so be polite, be patient - and get what you came for.
Don't get attached. People don't attend sex parties to meet their soulmate or start a long-lasting relationship. They're there to have sex and experiment with consenting adults. Don't form an emotional attachment, and don't expect to see your sexual partner(s) after they're done with you.
Keep it impersonal. Don't hand out your business cards or try to establish friendships with the people you meet at a sex party. It's all about keeping it footloose and fancy free, and there's that old saying 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". The same goes for your sex party friends; she might be a soccer mum and he might be the local butcher, but just because you're swinging together doesn't mean you have to be friends. Keep it simple, keep it impersonal and just enjoy yourself.
Don't interfere. Sure, a sex party is all about joining in and experimenting, but don't try to interrupt anyone while they're getting it on. Imagine how you'd feel if you'd got into a rhythm and someone else tried to join in.