Being Present Is A Secret To Great Lovemaking: A Guide To Meditative Sex

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Everyone wants to experience awesome lovemaking. Therefore, read this guide to meditative sex and get to understand and explore amazing sessions.

 Meditative sex increases desire and arousal, hence getting you closer to climax. Studies have discovered that the part of the brain that shuts down before an orgasm is the same part that shuts down when you are focused. Therefore, being focused is very important for sex to be satisfactory. Meditative sex involves mindfulness which helps us have better sex and solve sexual dysfunctions, according to Kimmes et al. (2015). Being mindful during sex can help us last longer during sex and even have control over orgasms. We can reduce stress, rest deeply, and be less distracted by meditating. You are supposed to be present and focus on the moment, indulging in your thoughts and fantasies without being judgmental. Being present can help you understand and know your partner better. We can accept them for who they are without placing unrealistic expectations on them. Partners can meditate together or alone. The following is the guide to meditative sex:

Find a Silent Place

Make the room clear of distractions. Remove all electronics and keep the room comfortable, cool, relaxing, and silent. You can have some cushions or a mattress to sit on. There should be space between you and your partner. Moreover, you can have essential plants such as lavender, chamomile, and peppermint and enjoy aromatherapy while meditating. Price & Price (2011) stated that aromatherapy helps in relaxation. Therapy during meditation allows the mind to function better. You can not meditate in a chaotic and dirty room.

Be Comfortable

You need to be comfortable when meditating. Get into a position that you are both comfortable in and wear comfortable clothes. You can sit on a chair or a cushion with your spine straight. Keep your chin up and your eyes at the same level as your partner. Be still, undistracted, and find a position that will restrict your movements.

Close Your Eyes

Focus on your space and breath. Relax as you breathe in and out, letting stress out of the body. Feel the air around you. The purpose of meditation is to be present, and we cannot reach that objective until we relax while closing our eyes. It would help if you also focused on the moment and tried your best not to open your eyes to respond to distractions. While closing your eyes, remember that this is your time to meditate. You should be able to control your thoughts and not let them control you.

Visualize Your Body

Think about your physique and give some shapes and colors to your feelings. You need to think of the attractive features that you have. Think about your partner’s body, too, and wonder at the attributes they possess that make them attractive to you. Allow yourself to be aroused. The main purpose of sexual meditation is to fill our minds with thoughts that can help achieve arousal and orgasms.

Focus On Your Partner

You can look at your partner directly in the eyes. Focus on how they are breathing and looking. Communicate without talking. You can use your eyes and sense of touch to show your feelings. Focusing on your partner is the stage where foreplay starts. This will allow the sensations to pass between you, leading to sensual sex.

Move To Sexual Intercourse

If there is sufficient lubrication, the partner can move on to having sex. If meditation has helped you achieve better sex, you may regularly include it in your sex sessions. Sexual meditation can lead to sex or masturbation, but it is not mandatory. You may meditate to increase libido and not pursue the end-game, i.e., sex. Meditation can heighten the anticipation for sex for you and your partner. You can make meditation better by finding music that will last you through meditation and sex sessions.

Trying Taoist Meditation

According to Schipper (1993), Taoist meditation is one of the ancient systems of thought in Chinese culture. You can apply some Taoist doctrines to merge your desires, such as matching breathing and hand pulsing.

Applying Some Tantric Practices

Tantric practice is when sex is used to meditate. Tantric philosophy asserts that everything is sacred. You may include tantric meditation because it is based on liberating energy. Remember that not every sexual meditation is tantric; some of it liberates energy.

Conclusion

You do not need any training or guidance to have meditative sex. Meditative sex is about taking time off to focus on your body and understanding it sexually. It allows us to understand our bodies better. Regular meditative sex helps us have more enjoyable sex and connect. Before you decide to have meditative sex, you should communicate with your partner about it so that they do not dismiss it as a waste of time. It is, however, not a must that you have sexual meditation with a partner since it can be performed solo. The guide for performing is the same as performing it with a partner. The main objective of sexual meditation is to be present and focus on the moment. People who meditate seem to have better lives and sex.

References

Kimmes, J. G., Mallory, A. B., Cameron, C., & Köse, Ö. (2015). A Treatment Model for 

Anxiety-related Sexual Dysfunctions Using Mindfulness Meditation Within a Sex-positive Framework. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 30(2), 286-296.

Price, S., & Price, L. (2011). Aromatherapy for Health professionals E-book. Elsevier Health 

Sciences.

Schipper, K. (1993). The Taoist Body. Univ of California Press.