HOW TO COMMUNICATE YOUR DESIRES (& RECEIVE THEM) ON ALL OR NOTHING DAY

The key to any relationship is communication. Some people may understand the need for communication in a relationship, but they do not know how to do it. Couples communicate their desires in different ways including; understanding the human needs, communication skills, practicing real connection, and being honest and open.

It can also be hard to explain how to communicate if not taught properly. It’ will be more difficult to unlock the door to healthy communication in relationships. Communication has several definitions, mainly the successful passing and sharing of feelings, information, and ideas. It also entails turn-taking and great listening skills. You may have to express yourself and listen to your partner healthily in a relationship. Below are tips for communicating your desires.

Tips For Healthy Expression Of Desires In A Relationship

Understand The Human Needs

People share important needs; self-actualization, self-esteem, love and belonging, safety, and physiological. However, everybody uses them as per their core values. Knowing the needs that operate well with your partner helps line them up in the most suitable manner.

Uncertainty.

Roseman & Evdokas (2004) stated that uncertainty is a need that helps us find happiness and avoid stress, pain, and emotional risks. Know how secure your spouse feels in the relationship. Different people have varied ways of finding comfort and safety. Therefore, be frank and offer certainty to your partner to make them feel assured.

Variety.

Partners require healthy challenges that help them grow in unison. It helps keep fantasies fun and exciting.

Significance,

It talks about feeling important and unique. Allow your partner to understand how to accomplish your needs. Demonstrate to them how you want it. For example, through love, touching, supporting them, and spending time together.

Love and Connection

Everybody wants to be connected with others, and communication is a good way to help you know how much you are treasured. Show your partner that you love them in real instead of words alone. Start by knowing the best love language your partner prefers.

Without measurable and constant growth, your relationships will lose taste. People have dreams of evolving on different life paths. Needs are mutual, and communicating can help you know how to grow together. Support your partner’s passion and learn other ways to support them better.

Contribution

It defines your roles in the lives of your loved ones. You can support your partner emotionally when down, advise them when in a problem, and give them attention. You’ll get better methods of contributing to one another’s well-being with communication.

What Are Your Communication Styles?

People have different communication styles that you should identify in a relationship. According to Agarwal (2019), these communication styles include passive, assertive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive. People communicate passively to keep their emotions. They’re the type that may never say no. Assertive are the best as they are linked to their emotions and know how to express them effectively. Aggressive communicators are vigorous, but passive-aggressive dislike conflict and may use sarcasm for real communication. Observe your partner and know their response to different perspective cues if you want to communicate better. They may be informed of what they need, but you should be careful about how to send the information. You may risk losing intimacy and Trust, which may frustrate you without communication.

Practice Real Connection

Most people subscribe to the misconception that communication in a relationship is similar to making conversation and talking. Beukelman & Mirenda (1998) noted that communication is about connection and how you apply your written, verbal, and physical skills to satisfy a partner’s needs. It’s not about small talks but offering support and knowing their point of view. Long-term relationships easily decline in passion and real connection. Partners may not accept that they changed how they used to connect when beginning a new relationship. Give a starting point after helping your partner understand the need to rekindle the connection. Think more about how to give and not take. You can do it even without having your partner commit, and they may learn later through your inspiration.

Does The Relationship Meet Your Partner’s Needs?

The best way to know if your partner’s needs are met in the relationship is by asking questions and keenly listening to their responses. Inquire by restating what they said to get it clear if you’re unsure of the answer. The actual verbal communication may not be key for effectiveness, but how you listen to it matters more. You may miss the point if you don’t listen to your partner despite their communication. Fight the urge to wait for them to complete their statement for you to answer. It implies a lack of listening but waiting to take your turn. You should listen calmly and stay open-minded to hear their concern. This helps you communicate more effectively and connect deeply with your partner.

Honesty And Openness

According to Kirkman et al. (2005), communication can become better by being honest and open. Open up your needs and emotions clearly, and say what you want. While retreating from a conflict feeling comfortable and safe it’s deceptive. It may never substitute Trust, and you won’t know how to improve communication. Avoiding or walking away from a disagreement is only temporary for cooling down. This may lead to further issues in your relationship. Trust that your partner will hear and respect you after an argument. Perhaps both of you are averse; therefore, bury emotions for each other’s sake. It may also be temporary because the result isn’t sustainable. Both partners should learn how to communicate to make their relationship better.

The Bottom Line

Almost everyone craves connection. We can get it via friends and family, but love relationships give the most powerful way to connect. You feel misunderstood and isolated, leading to disagreements or lack of communication when theirs no connection. A happy and healthy love relationship is built on communication. Don’t think of small talk to mean communication. Inquiring how your partner sent their day is great, but you should dig deeper. Know how to accomplish their needs. Also, partners should determine how to listen keenly and not talk.

References

Agarwal, U. A. (2019). Impact Of Supervisors’ Perceived Communication Style On Subordinate’s Psychological Capital And Cyberloafing. Australasian Journal Of Information Systems, 23.

Beukelman, D. R., & Mirenda, P. (1998). Augmentative And Alternative Communication. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes.

Kirkman, M., Rosenthal, D. A., & Shirley Feldman, S. (2005). Being Open With Your Mouth Shut: The Meaning Of ‘Openness’ In Family Communication About Sexuality. Sex Education, 5(1), 49-66.

Roseman, I., & Evdokas, A. (2004). Appraisals Cause Experienced Emotions: Experimental Evidence. Cognition And Emotion, 18(1), 1-28.