Cunnilingus - The Serious How To
Cunnilingus - it's quite a mouthful! I think the word sounds like some kind of alien plant life sent to take over the earth; it also brings to mind James Bond's abilities as a 'cunning linguist'!
Eating pussy, going down, licking out, bowcatting, giving head…whatever you want to call it, us ladies tend to like it and if your lover is skilled it can bring untold joy for both of you.
Some men (or gay/bi women) can be reluctant to give women head. If this is the case, don't judge your partner, just gently communicate with them about what may be underpinning their reluctance. Common complaints include: hair - trim or shave; taste and/or smell - wash first; a tired tongue - interchange with fingers; feelings of guilt and shame - talk at home and therapy.
Techniques that women enjoy will always vary from woman to woman. The most important thing, as always, is to communicate with your partner; invite them to keep up a stream of responses such as, left a bit, right, harder, softer etc; as long as they are enjoying themselves this can be very sexy and exciting as their pleasure builds. Don't forget that what has worked on one day may not work on another and what works for one partner may not work for someone else.
Suggestions for technique include:
Lick all the way from the base of her vaginal entrance - or include her anus if you're into anal play - up to her clitoris which sits between the top of her vaginal lips. Repeat this, using your tongue to explore her lips and opening. (Once you have arrived at her pussy start stimulating it with this technique, but it's good to kiss, caress her thighs etc. first!)
The majority of a woman's nerve endings in her actual vagina - as opposed to the clitoris - are around the opening and the first inch or two inside her; explore this area with your tongue (as far as is possible, your tongue can only reach so far!)
Focusing on the clitoris is an important part of the process, and is a huge variable in terms of how much direct pressure women want. Spreading the lips so that the clitoris is exposed before licking it can be great but will be too intense for some. Light tongue flicks over the exposed or labia-snuggled clitoris will help build a woman towards orgasm.
An unusual one that can produce great results involves rolling the tongue into a tube shape: if you can't do this, forget it - it's a genetically inherited skill! If you can, slide your rolled tongue up and down the clitoris like a vagina sliding over a penis. A surprising but exciting sensation for many women.
Sucking the clitoris is great for some women. You can flick your tongue over and around the clit while you are sucking.
Spelling the alphabet - or secret messages - out on her pussy with the end of your tongue can deliver sensation to lots of different spots that may get neglected otherwise.
Using your fingers in her arse-hole or pussy while you lick her can help women to feel 'fuller' and turn them on further. Light stroking in and out of orifices can build to a more vigorous finger fucking as she approaches orgasm. Similarly, a vibrator or butt-plug can help her feel full or add vibration to her clitoris, vagina or anus as you lick.
Don't be afraid to intersperse licking with some fucking, or turn her round for a sixty-nine. If you turn her on enough with your cunnilingus skills you may find that she is more likely to cum with your dick inside her than if you have penetrative sex with less foreplay.
During orgasm direct stimulation of the clitoris can be too intense for many women, you may find that a general pressure on the pubic mound is enough for her at this point, but this is an intensely personal thing that can only be perfected by communication between partners.
However you like to go down on your girl, get to know her and her body and you will find out more about what she prefers. For some women, oral sex is the only way that they can cum reliably with a partner so it is an important skill for a generous love to develop.