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BETTER SEX THROUGH MINDFULNESS

Better Sex Through Mindfulness

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova
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Better Sex Through Mindfulness

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova

Content Verification

Barbara Santini
Written by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Katie Lasson
Fact Checked by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

✨ Key Points from the Article ✨

Here's a little nibble of what you need to know, darling:

  • 🧘‍♀️ Mindfulness isn't just for yogis – it can spice up your love life too!
  • 🌿 Relaxation is key – let go of stress, and let passion bloom.
  • 💖 Focus on the present moment, for a truly memorable experience.
  • 🔥 Let your senses guide the way – touch, sound, and sight are all important players.

💡 Key Advice & Tips from Our Experts 💡

Top tips to help you be more mindful and enjoy a passionate moment:

  • 🧠 A calm mind leads to greater pleasure – try a quick meditation session before playtime.
  • 💆‍♂️ Get into the moment – use your senses to explore every inch of your partner.
  • ⏳ Don't rush it – slow down, enjoy the ride, and savour every touch.

Mindfulness is a cognitive-based therapy that trains folks to consider thoughts as normal "mental events" instead of imperatives that should be believed or acted upon. Often, disturbing thoughts lead to other disturbing thoughts, and before you realize it, the time has elapsed. This concept has had experts considering its effectiveness in improving people's sex lives. It is not uncommon for one's mind to wander during sex. And you understand how nerve-numbing it can be when your partner is not present at the moment during intercourse. For instance, how would you feel when you kiss your partner and realize their eyes are wide open and gazing elsewhere? This post will explore how you can have better sex through mindfulness.

The concept of sexual intercourse goes beyond the evolutionary, physiological, and biological necessities. That is why humans place more importance on the need to connect emotionally, spiritually, and romantically with their partners. This sexual mindfulness, aside from enhancing pleasure and sexual satisfaction, is a stress reliever and contributes to overall well-being. This concept is relatively new and hasn't been explored aplenty. Still, the recent global statistics of couples having fewer sexual encounters have had experts wondering if mindfulness can help rekindle deeper romantic connections, more sexual encounters in relationships, and even more pleasurable sex.

At the basic level, proponents of this concept suggest that mindfulness can enhance one's attention during sex, make them physically, romantically, and emotionally present in the erotic moment, enhance sexual performance, and attune to the shared pleasure with their partner. As such, undesirable relationship-breaking aspects that make the mind wander during sex would reduce frequency.  Naturally, the human mind is digressive, but this form of cognitive therapy has been found to make sex more fun, rekindle the fire of dying romances, make couples happier and healthier, and improve their sex lives. With that in mind, let's take a closer look at mindfulness as a form of cognitive therapy and how it can be put into practice for better sex lives.

Understanding Mindfulness and Sex

Today’s adult scene is saturated with shallow and meaningless hook-ups that also receive vital mainstream media coverage. Casual sex encounters, even among married couples, are commonplace. They happen in disturbing regularity and so casual without any meaningful connection or mental investment into it. You wouldn’t be surprised to see viral videos of couples or partners caught on CCTV camera having it on an elevator or in a public park.

These instances are so common, and the media coverage depicts sex as a desire or craving that should be tended to as a matter of want without any physical or emotional connection. But what happens if that spontaneous hunger or desire wanes? Over 40% of women suffer low sexual desire at some point in their lives. And experts point to low confidence, stress, anxiety, and body image as the main contributors. Essentially, when these factors creep into your mind, chances are you will self-judge yourself, get moody, feel distracted, and often experience anxiety – all of which diminish sexual desire and enjoyment. Fortunately, experts say mindfulness can help turn the tide around.

Training yourself to avoid emotional and physical distractions can help cultivate sexual desire. Like ancient India, meditation was a key part of training focus and being in the present moment. Over the years, this concept has evolved and spread to other cultures. Experts suggest numerous exercises and tactics that connect the body and mind, enabling you to experience all sexual sensations for the ultimate sexual satisfaction. Mindfulness encourages paying attention while being compassionate and non-judgmental of your partner's body and sexual performance. And more like tantric sex, it is focused on a realm of sexual satisfaction beyond orgasms as the end goal.

Mindfulness and Acceptance

Mindfulness encourages folks to keep from distracting thoughts and stay on course with positive perceptions. Often, our mind can digress during sex and focus on things like our daily hustles, examinations, mortgage payments, one's body, etc. However, this technique is geared towards making your partner as comfortable as possible with their bodies. As such, their sexual attraction will develop beyond looks and into something beyond the normal physical perceptions. Specific exercises and mindfulness practices aren't cut out clearly, but meditation and yoga have been known to play a big role in this form of cognitive training.

How Mindfulness Contributes to Better Sex

As mentioned earlier, practicing mindfulness can help you develop attention and focus during sex, which goes a long way in savoring your erotic encounters. This way, you will completely be present at the moment, not worried about your past afflictions, not concerned about the future, both of which help you build quality connections and better sex with your partner. Overall, mindfulness is beneficial to sex in the following ways;

  • With mindfulness, you will have realistic expectations every time you have sex, which is ideal for connecting more with your partner and savoring the pleasure.
  • Mindfulness enhances acceptance, which is an ingredient that enhances the quality of sex. This way, you will enjoy sexual encounters because your partner is non-judgmental and compassionate.
  • It can help you build trust and emotional safety with your partner.
  • Enhances emotional connection that can rekindle dwindling romances.
  • Mindfulness enhances self-acceptance, which can be transferred to your partner and indirectly improve the quality of your sex life.
  • Through mindfulness, we can let go of all disturbing and distracting thoughts. This creates a perfect mental condition to savor all the minor bits during sexual intimacy.

The Bottom Line

Mindfulness dated back to the ancient Buddhism cultures and was mainly practiced in the form of meditation. The present society has adopted this concept as a form of cognitive therapy where patients are trained to observe thoughts are mere passing events that shouldn't be acted upon. This concept is also gaining traction in matters of sex to help train the mind to focus, fend of distracting thoughts, and be 100% present in the moment to make sex more pleasurable. The key aspects involved in mindfulness for better sex are present moment awareness and being sucked into sexual intimacy while being 100% compassionate and non-judgmental.


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